


Ballads of a Bloodbender

by Marjorie_Franklin



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Dark, Angst, Bloodbending, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fire Nation Katara, Fire Nation Royal Family, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2018-04-26 14:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5008873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marjorie_Franklin/pseuds/Marjorie_Franklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the raid on the Southern Water Tribe, Ozai took her in. He changed her name, altered her eye color, lied about her origin, and called her something altogether different. They said that the spirits were what blessed her with her mysterious powers, but Zuko knew the truth. She was Ozai's secret weapon, a bloodbender; the last waterbender from the South Pole and her real name was Katara.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story begins after the Southern Raiders invade the Southern Water Tribe. However, Katara is taken and her mother is spared. Zuko has not been banished (yet) and Fire Lord Azulon still reigns.
> 
> I will stay true to canon to a fault (as much as a can with Katara in the Fire Nation). Some (but not all) canon events will ultimately come to pass but with some twists and turns along the way. Rating may be subject to change. This could get pretty dark and gritty. Enjoy!

"It's a waterbender, Ozai. There are thousands more out there just like her."

Fire Lord Azulon already sounded annoyed and impatient, and this conversation had just begun. Zuko couldn't see anything other than Azulon's shadow glistening behind the dais' curtain of flames but he could easily hear his thinly veiled annoyance from his hiding place across the throne room.

Eavesdropping was bad. Zuko knew this, but Azula had talked him into thinking that it was a good idea, so they had snuck into the throne room to see why Father had requested a  _private_ audience with Fire Lord Azulon.

"Not one that is ripe and ready for molding," Ozai countered confidently.

"What would I want with a waterbender?" The flames of the dais grew, mirroring Azulon's volatile mood.

The bright, yellow flames seemed to suck any and all light from the massive room; leaving the far corner where Zuko and Azula hid even darker. Zuko had no idea how a room could somehow get darker and lighter at the same time. Father's dusky form grew darker, smaller as the vexed flames between him and Azulon grew.

"I'm not offering you a waterbender, Father, I'm offering you a _bloodbender_."

Ozai's words made Zuko's blood run cold. He instinctively took a step back only to have his back collide with the wall.

Azula rolled her eyes at his patheticness and proceeded to fearlessly peer through the gap in the drapery around them.

"How do you know such a thing even exists?" Azulon's form leaned forward, his posture straightening. He still sounded irate but the curiosity in his voice was evident.

"I have several guards who swear to Agni that a waterbender escaped one of our prisons using this type of waterbending."

"This is all fascinating, Ozai but I still don't know what you are proposing." The Fire Lord's tone was suddenly cold, irritated, and emotionless again.

"Turn her into a bloodbender _, your_  bloodbender!"

"I'll give no such testament to waterbenders. I don't need them. This is the  _Fire Nation_ , Ozai, you speak blasphemy!" Fire Lord Azulon rose to his feet and the flames grew with his height, threatening to lick the ceiling and consume everything.

Ozai fell to his hands and knees. "They don't have to know she's a waterbender. We can tell them that she is a gift from the Spirit World to the Fire Nation. We won't call it waterbending. She'll be something completely different. She'll be—"

Azulon scoffed. "She'll be a _waterbender_. She was born one, she'll die one."

"Not if we take her under our wing."

The Fire Lord shook his head. "I will do no such thing. This is your blasphemous idea, Ozai, and if I choose to let you go through with it, the only wing she will be under is yours."

"I'm prepared to do so. I believe the pros will outweigh the cons. This will be worth it. Father, if bloodbending works the way we think it does, she could control another's bending; take it away even! Do you realize what we could do with that kind of power?"

Zuko couldn't handle anymore. He'd been wrong to listen to Azula (like always) and he wished that he could erase this from his memory.

Once he was sure, they wouldn't hear him, he bolted out from behind the thick, crimson curtains and ran to find Mom.

The last thing he heard was Grandfather's gravely voice say: "Very well, Ozai. Train it until your heart's content but don't come crying to me when your pet bites you."

* * *

Blessed by the moon, exalted by the sea, a waterbender. They called her bending a gift. They were wrong. Her bending was a curse in the world she lived in. Only those who were favored by the sun, only those with Agni's blood running hot in their veins could flourish.

If she were a firebender, she wouldn't be where she is now. Were she not a waterbender, she would be free.

During the raid that ultimately resulted in her capture, the man who took her away said he wanted the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe and he had every intention of killing her where she stood until he saw her age, how young she really was. She was a child, only eight years old and apparently, even that monster had his limits. He didn't kill her but he mercilessly hauled her out of her screaming mother's arms and threw her into a ship made of cold, black metal.

Mother had begged for them to take her instead, insisting _she_  was the last waterbender but they didn't believe her. They'd seen Katara waterbending the snow… They knew that _she_  was the true last waterbender, not her mother…

Katara wasn't even sure if her mother was alive. She had fought so hard to save her and she'd suffered the consequences. The man, the  _monster_  who took her away in chains kicked her mother away and threw flames at her until Katara couldn't see her mother at all anymore… The flames blinded her and by the time her sight returned, mother was nowhere to be seen…

Katara remembered hearing her father roaring for her as he ruthlessly bashed countless firebender heads in, trying to make his way across the valley of endless snow, trying to reach her before they could take her away. Sokka had been the one to get closest to her before she'd been hauled onto the ship and she'd reached for him relentlessly, tears swelling in her eyes but the firebenders caught Sokka too and held him back by the shaggy wolf tail atop his head.

Oh, how different things would be if she hadn't bended that snow at Sokka during their snowball fight... They were just playing. It seemed innocent enough. She didn't know it would all turn out so badly… How was she to know a raid was seconds away?

If she hadn't used her bending, if she wasn't a waterbender, she would be home with her family instead of rotting away in a prison cell, watching the rats crawl by and contemplating an unlikely escape. After all, what shot did she have at escaping? Yes, she was a waterbender but she had no training. She was just a kid and since waterbending had gotten her captured and her family harmed, she never wanted to waterbend again…

She had been the last waterbender in the entire South Pole and now, she was a prisoner, dirty, malnourished, and alone. She cried often and the guards always scolded her for it, claiming she was trying to muster enough water to waterbend. She hadn't even thought of that until they mentioned it but she stored it away for future reference. It was something to think about, something that could be useful…eventually.

Time had lost its relevance a while back. She no longer knew how much time had passed or how long she had been there. There was night and day and sometimes she could almost sense the moon cycles but she wasn't that in tune with her bending. She hadn't obtained that level of mastery yet but if she had to guess, she'd been there for  _at least_  half a year.

There was movement in the prison today, more than normal. Usually it was relatively quiet aside from the occasional ravings of a mad prisoner and the heavy footsteps of the guards on patrol but something was different this time. Something was going on. She could hear murmurs, men and women barking orders, and the pitter-patter of countless boots resonating beneath her cell door.

Guards shifted around outside until ultimately, all the commotion came to her cell.

Instinctively, she backed away from the bars that separated her from her unwanted visitors and cowered into the corner of her cage like a frightened animal.

Whatever was coming in her cell, she didn't want to be near it.

Her door opened, allowing dull, flaxen light to pour into her gloomy space, it's metal hinges screeching in a way that made her want to cover her ears.

Once she gained the courage to look up, a man in long, billowing robes the color of blood was entering her cell.

He had a small, fiery crown on his head, coal in his lengthy hair, a long, thin beard beneath his strong chin, and sunshine in his eyes… His eyes were yellow. Until she was brought to the Fire Nation, she'd never seen anyone with golden eyes before but now it seemed like they were all she saw.

The guards escorted him in and one of them placed a tray of food in front of her cell. She noticed the food was different than what they usually gave her. This looked more like a meal she would enjoy instead of one meant only to keep her alive. Were they trying to fatten her up? Why the sudden change?

"Leave us," the man snapped.

"Yes, Prince Ozai." The nearest guard bowed but his voice quivered with fear. Katara wanted to quiver a bit too. This man was frightening. Something dark was in those deceivingly bright eyes. Yellow was the color of hope…but his eyes were anything but hopeful.

As soon as they finished bowing, the guards disappeared, leaving her alone with Prince Ozai.

Usually, Katara was overjoyed to watch the guards leave, but this time, she wished they'd stay. She didn't want to be alone with the son of the Fire Lord, the man who demanded her capture, the real reason she was here.

Katara didn't move to eat even though her stomach ached with hunger and her tongue was as dry and rough as sandpaper. However, there was nothing on the tray that would relieve her of the latter. They didn't give her water often but they always gave her food. She still couldn't decide if this was a mercy or a cruelty.

Ozai got comfortable on the cushion the servants had offered him to sit on. He adjusted his robes and his sharp, piercing eyes cut through the darkness to look right at her.

Briefly, she wondered if she should bow or something but it seemed trivial at this point. What would they do? Imprison her? Too late…

"What's your name?" he finally asked.

There was a long moment where she merely stared at him from her corner and had every intention of continuing to hold her tongue until he left but she soon realized there would probably be cruel retribution for such behavior…

"…Katara," she said softly.

"Katara?" he repeated, sounding a bit disgusted with the name. He said it as if someone had just asked him to swallow something vile.

The waterbender nodded.

"Well, _Katara_ , how would you like to get out of this dirty, cold prison cell?" His voice was deceivingly warm as he leaned back a bit and folded his arms over his broad chest.

Katara wasn't sure how she should respond. Yes, she wanted to get out but this was wrong... There was something very wrong about all of this. This was the son of the man who demanded she be brought in in the first place. Why was he offering her  _freedom_? That seemed…counterproductive.

"Well?" His long, slender fingers tapped impatiently at his biceps.

"Y-Yes," she replied more out of fear than anything. It was impulsive, a knee jerk reaction. She was more afraid of what would happen if she held her tongue than what would happen if she said 'yes'.

"I will let you out, occasionally, but I have a few conditions."

Katara watched him expectantly, taking long, steady breaths.

"If you are a good girl _and_  if you start taking some waterbending lessons for me."

Katara's brow furrowed. Now she was really confused, but she  _did_ want to get out of this cell…

She looked at Ozai then up past the bars overhead that offered the smallest sliver of cerulean sky. It was like it was there for the soul purpose of reminding her that the world she loved was still out there. It taunted her and she longed to crawl out…to feel the sun…the wind…to see the moon…to see the sky…the same sky her family was under…

"Okay…" she whispered and Ozai smiled in a way that could only be described as wicked, making her blood run cold.

Little did she know she had just sold her soul.

She'd just made a huge mistake.

* * *

Hands bound behind her back at inhuman angles, she was finally offered water. Some guards were kinder and gave her privileges because of her age. Those guards didn't make her drink this way but the ruthless guards did. They didn't see her age. They just saw a waterbender and they condemned her for that.

When she was forced to drink this way, she hated drinking time as much as she reveled in it. It was agony having her hands that far behind her back and irritating to drink like an animal from a much too small cup they extended her way. She spilled more than she actually drank. More was on the floor than in her mouth.

While she slobbered and made disgusting sounds in her water bowl, more guards entered her cell, Imperial Firebenders by the look of them.

Behind the firebenders was Prince Ozai. He had returned just as he said he would a few days ago.

_At least he is a man of his word…_ she mused.

He waited in the doorway, looking surprisingly patient. He was probably just amused by the fact that she was being forced to drink like an animal, so she stopped. She wouldn't shame herself this way, not in front of him. She still had some of her pride. She'd gotten enough to sustain her, for now.

The guards shifted behind her and began removing her chains since she was done drinking.

"Keep her bound," Ozai commanded, so the guards did just that. They kept her in chains.

The Fire Prince gave her another onceover and his piercing eyes dwelled on her ankles. "But free her feet. She needs to be able to walk."

The prison guards did as instructed and freed her ankles and Katara instantly felt grateful to Ozai. He could have demanded they leave them. This was a mercy, one she would appreciate later that night when her ankles _weren't_  rubbed raw by coarse metal.

Prince Ozai then bobbed his head in the direction of her door and the guards reopened her cell door.

At first, Katara was unsure and didn't know if she should leave the cage they had thrown her in months ago. It had been a long time since she set foot outside the small chamber. Not to mention, everything inside of her was screaming it was a trap.

In one way or another, it probably was.

"It's all right," Ozai attempted to assure her, reading her timid features and body language, but he sounded more irritated than kind. "Come on out."

Reluctantly, Katara did as she was told and exited the cell, chains rattling like bones as she moved. The moment she exited, Ozai began moving again and she followed him. She followed him like a polar-bear dog. She became his shadow, causing realization to wash over her like bitter acid. She didn't want to be too far from the Fire Prince. She trusted him over the guards, over anyone else they would encounter outside in this foreign land. She had a sick savior reaction to him even though she knew it wasn't quite right, but Ozai was the reason she was able to walk free. The others wanted her in a cell but he'd offered her freedom and he had power… It barely qualified as kindness but it was the most of it she'd received since her capture, since she was ripped from her mother's arms.

Katara hated herself for feeling this way but she couldn't stop it. It happened without her consent. It was already taking root in her wounded psyche.

Ozai led her through the towering prison and eventually, outside.

The sun was so bright she had to shield her eyes. She hadn't realized how dark it was in that prison until she finally saw the light of day again, but there was no snow. It wasn't even cold outside. It hadn't been the day they brought her in either but she supposed she was hoping against hope that she would miraculously return to her precious world of snow…

At that moment, Katara realized she didn't really like the sun anymore. It favored the children of the Fire Nation. It favored the cruel men around her and likely wanted to burn her to cinders. That was why she had to shield her eyes from it; that was why it was too bright… The sun was never this bright back home… Sometimes, there wasn't any sun at all for weeks but she doubted that was the case here. She steeled herself and tried to come to terms with the fact that this new, brutal sun would be a cruel constant here…

* * *

Katara was taken to what could only be called a palace or castle. It was the most extravagant thing she had ever seen. It was big and red and full of gold, ornate furniture, and decorations. Pillars of gold wrapped in lush, crimson tapestries lined the halls, Fire Nation insignia were everywhere and large, golden dragons slithered elegantly along the walls. It was poorly lit by torches or dull, hanging lanterns but some rooms actually had ceilings that allowed the sun to shine down on them through the roof. This was where the Fire Lord lived and that made everything a little less beautiful and a bit more menacing.

Dark red rugs and flooring paved their way and once they were inside yet _another_  elaborate room of gold and crimson, Ozai demanded her hands be freed and then commanded the servants to bathe her and put her in some of  _'Azula's'_  clean clothes.

For the first time in what felt like years, she had a bath, a  _real_ bath in a huge tub made of porcelain. It even had bubbles! There was soap and oils and lotions and lavish things she'd never seen before. Had the servants not rushed her, she probably would have stayed there with her element for a solid twenty-four hours.

They hauled her out of the bath, dried her off, combed her ratty hair, and put her in red clothes. They felt good but she didn't like them. She didn't like red… They were also thin and sheer to keep the heat at bay, leaving her feeling alien and naked. She was used to layers and furs (and burgundy rags of late)…not this. It made her feel even more vulnerable and meek.

After she was dressed and clean, she waited with Ozai in an antechamber outside what she assumed was his room. Even though she hadn't set foot inside she could already tell this room was much bigger than the one she'd bathed in.

The prince paced around the large, red space and the imperial guards stayed close to her since Ozai said she hadn't been bound again.

Honestly, she didn't know what they thought she would do. She was just a kid. She couldn't take out all these guards  _and_  Ozai. Even she knew that. She supposed they were mainly there as a reminder to behave and to not get any ideas.

Katara didn't know whom or what they were waiting for but she was too afraid to ask. She was afraid he'd tell her the Fire Lord was coming to see her… If that was the case, she was content not knowing.

As if on cue, the doors opened and to Katara's surprise, the Fire Lord didn't enter the room. Instead a lovely woman with dark hair and golden eyes appeared. Her eyes were gold as well but they weren't cold like Ozai's. They were gentle and warm and a bit sad if she looked hard enough.

Katara relaxed at the sight of her.

Her dark brown hair was partially up in a topknot and a small, shimmering crown was in her hair as well. Her robes were sleek, elaborate, and of course, red and Katara couldn't keep herself from thinking she looked a bit like a princess.

Ozai rushed toward her and began whispering in her ear, causing a frown to mar her beautiful features. They had a brief, hushed exchange before her frown grew and she looked past him at Katara.

"Ozai," the woman said softly, her eyes wandering over Katara's features. "I really don't see how you think this will work. She is clearly from the Water Tribes. It's as plain as the nose on her face…"

"We'll fix it. Somehow." Prince Ozai cast a calculated gaze back at Katara, causing her to shrink.

The woman sighed and approached the waterbender. Her frown was instantly replaced by a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. She knelt in front of Katara and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hello. My name is Ursa. What's yours?"

"K-Katara," she replied timidly.

Ursa gave another half-hearted smile. "That's a very pretty name. You know, I have a son and a daughter about your age. Would you like to meet them?"

Katara nodded and Ursa held her hand out for her, and for some reason, she took it without hesitation.

* * *

The palace, while ornate and grand, was nothing compared to the royal gardens Ursa led her into. They were absolutely breathtaking. Perky turtle-ducks were everywhere and almost every kind of exotic plant one could imagine inhabited the space. Fountains, waterfalls and beautiful trees were everywhere and Katara's eyes danced with excitement, as if seeing the world for the very first time.

Of course, the flowing fountain and the pond were instantly her favorites. The flowers and trees were nice but they weren't water. No matter what happened, no matter how many times she said tried to convince herself she didn't want to waterbend ever again, she was still drawn to it and her hands itched to manipulate it.

Amidst it all this lavish scenery were two Fire Nation children. They were either playing or arguing. From this distance, Katara couldn't really tell.

"Zuko! Azula!" Ursa called and the children came running, the boy more enthusiastic than the girl.

Katara instinctively took a few steps back and behind Ursa.

"Katara?" Ursa said gently. "These are my children, Azula and Zuko."

The boy looked at her skeptically but the girl looked at her cynically. Katara noted almost instantly that the boy had warm, inviting eyes like Ursa but the girl – despite looking a great deal like Ursa – had eyes like Ozai.

Their hair was straight and dark; Azula's being a pinch darker than Zuko's. Their skin was pale like fine-grained alabaster, causing her to look down at hers to see the contrast.

Zuko had long hair up in a high ponytail and Azula had a neat topknot with two strands of sleek, black hair framing her face. Again, Katara's hands wandered to her own unruly hair.

The day of the raid, Mother had fixed her hair back in a neat bun with two hair loops on each side of her face as she did every morning…but with time, it had fallen away and now her thick hair was down with no styling whatsoever. All that remained was the two blue beads that once held the loops in place. She was a bit embarrassed. Briefly, she wondered what these children, children dressed and raised in finery, must think of her.

"Azula, Zuko, this is Katara. She is going to be staying with us from time to time."

Katara's eyes mated with Zuko's and to her shock, his features softened significantly and his mouth twitched into something that almost rivaled a smile.

"Why?" Azula asked, her tone curt and sharp.

"Because she needs us and I expect you to be kind to her," Ursa replied vaguely but Zuko and Katara seemed pacified with the response; Azula however-

Azula scoffed and stormed off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading! 
> 
> So this is my second dive into Zutara/ATLA. I’ve always wanted to write a full length Zutara story and I’ve had this idea for a while and it just wouldn’t leave me alone. I really shouldn’t be starting another story but eh, here we are… 
> 
> Again, the Southern Raiders took Katara, Kya survived the raid, Zuko has not been banished yet, Aang is still in the iceberg (for now), and Azulon still reigns. There will be obvious changes due to Katara’s presence in the Fire Nation instead of the tribes. HOWEVER, I’m still sticking to canon…to an extent. Some canon events will come to pass but some will be significantly altered. I will be bending some of the rules (no pun intended) to support my twisted ideas but I promise I’ll try not to do anything drastic. I want this to be plausible. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

The whole thing was odd and frankly, Zuko didn't understand it. His father had brought a strange girl into their home but only 'temporarily.'

Guards were never far from her, watching like hawks but she looked harmless to him. She was very thin and pale even though her skin was a rich caramel color. Azula said she was from a prison but Zuko didn't know whether to believe that or not.

His mother had introduced her as Katara. Her name was unusual as were her looks. Yes, she was strange but she wasn't what he'd call ugly.

Since Katara's arrival, their world had been successfully flipped upside down. Katara had changed the whole palace and even family dynamic. It was almost like getting a new sister. In fact, Ozai and Ursa dedicated the majority of their time to her. Ursa had even gone into town to get her clothes since Azula continued to complain about Katara wearing her own, and Ozai seemed to be making a permanent place for her there although they continually said the arrangement was on an occasional basis.

Zuko was pretty sure that occasional could still be permanent.

On one of the seldom occasions Zuko managed to get Katara alone, he'd finally got to ask her a few questions and she'd told him she was a waterbender and that had floored him. Everything suddenly made staggering sense, like the final piece of a puzzle had been snapped into place. This was the waterbender Ozai wanted. This was the… _bloodbender._ For some reason, he'd been expecting something…scarier. He'd also been expecting something older. She was nothing like the monster he'd cooked up in his head after hearing Ozai tell Azulon that he was going to offer him a bloodbender.

Katara was quiet although Zuko doubted she was naturally shy. He could already tell 'quiet' wasn't necessarily a personality trait of hers. It was the result of intimidation and fear, two emotions he knew well. He'd seen Ozai and Azulon tease it out of people for years and if he was honest, it had also been teased out of him a time or two.

"So," Zuko began again, "How much waterbending can you do?"

Katara perked a bit before those big, blue eyes of hers locked on him, swirling with intrigue and other emotions he couldn't discern. "Not a lot."

Unsure of how to respond, Zuko fidgeted and played with the dirt on the bottom of his boot.

"Are… Are you a firebender?"

His eyes left his boot to meet hers. "Yeah, but I'm not very good yet."

He didn't go into how Azula was so much better than him, how she continually put him to shame in basically all aspects of life… If she stayed like he thought she would, she'd learn that on her own soon enough.

Katara made a subtle face at his response, like she got a whiff of something rotten. It looked like she wanted to say something else but was afraid to.

"What is it?" he asked, his dark brow furrowed.

She shook her head. "I guess I was just hoping you wouldn't be a firebender."

Shocked, he asked: "Why not?"

Before she could answer, the doors that led to the room busted open, causing Katara to flinch.

Zuko turned to see Ozai in the doorway. Here to retrieve Katara no doubt. And he was finally getting her to open up too. He still had so many questions for her. At this rate, he'd never get his curiosity sated.

"Come, Katara," Ozai called, already sounding impatient.

Begrudgingly, after holding eye contact with Zuko for a long-suffering moment, Katara did as she was told.

"Bye," Zuko whispered as she passed.

"Bye…"

* * *

Eventually, Katara was taken to what Ozai had called the Fire Sages. They were strange men in red robes and funny, pointy hats that almost made her chuckle were she not so nervous.

They meditated frequently and talked to Ozai for hours on end about things she didn't understand.

"This has nothing to do with us, Prince Ozai. This doesn't fall under our jurisdiction. This seems like a matter of war…of acquisition. I see no reason why we should dirty our hands with such—"

"Your job is to serve the Fire Lord, is it not?" Ozai inquired cynically.

"Yes, Your Majesty…" The High Sage held his head down in submission.

"By helping with this, you are serving the Fire Lord and aiding the Fire Nation. That is your purpose. If you refuse to help me, I will tell the Fire Lord that you are inhibiting our progress as a nation. Fire Lord Azulon has approved this and it would be treason to not help us see it to completion."

Each of the sages, even the High Sage seemed reluctant and uncomfortable in her presence there but Ozai continually frightened the reluctance right out of them. But why were they afraid of her? Sometimes they seemed more afraid of her than they were of Ozai… They said she was sacrilege, something unholy but the Fire Prince didn't care what they said. He said it was high time they started making themselves useful again and that this was the way to do it.

Katara was so tired of being confused. She was tired of the conspiring and the whispering but she knew deep down that she should just get used to it now. Something told her this was merely the beginning.

"What is your name, child?" the High Sage finally inquired.

He was the first to directly acknowledge her but he looked exasperated. In fact, he seemed to have aged in the short time they'd been there. His wrinkles seemed deeper, his tawny eyes more sunken, and his white hair even whiter.

"Her name is Katara," Ozai replied for her.

The Fire Sage sighed. "We will have to change that…eventually. She can keep her name for now but once she is under the command of Azulon—"

Prince Ozai nodded. "We will worry about that later."

"What's wrong with my name?" Katara asked hesitantly, tugging at Ozai's robes as she did so.

Prince Ozai smirked and knelt before her, grabbing her chin and tilting it upward. "It sounds a bit too Water Tribe, little one, and you are part of the Fire Nation now. Don't you want to fit in?"

"I want to go home…" she replied honestly, her tone sharper than she intended.

"I know but you can't go home. Katara, didn't you tell me you wanted to get out of that cell? I can't take you home but I can give you a new home, one that isn't in a prison. Your home can be the Fire Nation instead but if you don't want that, I can take you back…" Prince Ozai drawled, rising to his feet and motioning for the guards and her chains.

Katara grabbed his arm and hauled him back down. "No! Don't make me go back!"

The waterbender realized just how much she didn't want to go back to that prison cell as the words flew out of her mouth without her consent. It wasn't until she said it and her eyes swelled with tears that she realized  _never_ wanted to go back into that cell again. She also realized she would do whatever she could to keep from going back, to leave that cell even if it was for a limited amount of time. Apparently, even this kind of freedom was better than none. Serving Ozai was better than being in that cell all the time. If she served Ozai, she could be with Ursa and that meant she could have baths, go outside, play, and have food,  _real_ food…

"All right, Katara," Ozai replied, his tone steely. "I won't take you back, but you have to listen to me and do what I ask of you. I need you to trust me. I know what's best for you."

Sniffling, Katara nodded.

* * *

It was hot. Even inside the palace it was hot. Katara didn't care for the heat but she was getting used to it. She would  _always_  be hotter than the others in this foreign land but she somehow managed to find comfort near a large, open window in the spare room she frequented. After all there were much worse things than being hot… She knew that very well now.

Katara sat in front of Ursa as she tried to pull half of her thick hair into a topknot. Originally, Uras had tried to put it into a bun like Azula's but failed. Ursa wasn't used to hair like Katara's but Katara loved having her fix her hair. It reminded her of her mother. Her mother always fixed her hair. No, it wasn't the same. Ursa's hands felt different but the tenderness was there.

Across the room from them, Zuko was running around the space doing firebending forms. She knew little of firebending but she was quite sure over half of what he was doing was made up and mostly for fun, having little if any actual form.

It made her smile and even giggle a little at times when he dodged the invisible attacks of invisible opponents. Sometimes he even let them hit him and he would fall flamboyantly to the ground in defeat.

Admittedly, the waterbender preferred Zuko and Ursa to the others. Ursa was always kind to her and even though Zuko was annoying and a bit brash at times, he always offered to play with her or at the very least offered her his company. He showed her his favorite toys and even offered her some of his neglected ones since she didn't have any toys of her own anymore. Sometimes he would offer her fruit he found in the garden and she would always smile at the offering then split it with him.

Zuko intrigued her and she was quite sure the feeling was mutual. She would catch him staring at her and he always seemed baffled by her actions, how she was open to sharing and how she did things for him without there being some ulterior motive or dishonorable intention. She didn't expect anything in return…unlike his sister. It didn't take long for Katara to discover where his insecurities came from. They came from Azula and how she treated him.

Katara and Sokka had not been above fighting. Far from it but it wasn't like what Azula and Zuko did. At the end of the day, Katara and Sokka knew they loved one another but Katara didn't know if the same could be said for Azula and Zuko.

Given the choice, Katara would always flock to Zuko, especially if Ursa wasn't around. Azula just wasn't pleasant to be around and her games weren't fun in Katara's opinion. Most of the time they were flat out dangerous, not unintentionally dangerous like normal childhood games, like the ones she used to play with Sokka that usually got one of them hurt or into trouble. They were the kind of dangerous that one recognized instantly before ever agreeing to participate.

Earlier that day, Ursa had informed Katara that Azula's friends, Mai and Ty Lee were in the palace somewhere. They'd come for their occasional visit, which sometimes synced up with the days Katara spent in the palace. However, on those days, Katara was not allowed to leave Ursa's room. They said that they couldn't see her yet… She didn't know what that meant but she didn't ask. She knew she wouldn't get the answers she wanted even if she did.

* * *

It was very late when Katara felt someone gently shaking her awake.

" _Katara?"_  the breezy voice chimed.

"Mom?" she responded on instinct.

Her vision was still blurry and she wasn't sure if she was truly awake or not. All she recognized was the gentle hum of a motherly voice. It was soft like the flutter of butterfly wings, soothing against her ears and familiar. It had to be her mother.

Blinking rapidly, she managed to clear some of the haze behind her eyes and the face began to take on a more distinct shape in the darkness. The face was more angular than she was expecting and pale, and much to Katara's dismay her eyes weren't blue. It was almost enough to make her cry when she realized that warm touch wasn't her mother's… It was Ursa's.

"I'm sorry to wake you but…we have to go on a little trip."

"Why?"

Ursa looked down. "Prince Ozai has demanded it."

Katara frowned, rolled over, and curled into a tighter ball, almost hiding under the silky, red covers.

Ursa placed a hand on her head and stroked her hair a bit. "Would you like me to carry you?"

The waterbender didn't object but she didn't approve either.

Taking her silence as permission, Ursa scooped her up, taking the crimson blankets with her. She swaddled her up like a baby and carried her tenderly as if she was one.

It wasn't long before Katara was falling asleep again, drifting in and out of consciousness. The world around her would come into and out of focus, revealing flashes of golden lanterns, dark crimson pillars, Fire Nation tapestries, a carriage complete with lumbering komodorhinos, and finally, Ozai.

Ursa continued to hold her throughout and would pat her back gingerly, almost rocking her, lulling her to sleep…

_"You're sure this spirit exists?"_

_"Yes, I'm sure, but do we have t-"_

_"You said yourself that she is clearly from the Water Tribes and unless you can think of another way to change that..."_

_"...I hate this. She is just a child... It isn't fair."_

_"I've given her a place in our home. I've given her freedom. I think that is more than fair."_

_"But at a price! I doubt she even really understands what you plan to do to her!"_

_"She'll understand once she is older."_

_"After it's too late..."_

_"I'm done discussing this, Ursa. You agreed to care for her before I brought her here and now I suggest you either do that or give her to me and I'll take her to this spirit myself."_

Katara was aware of very little, only that they had left the palace, that Ursa and Ozai were arguing about something, and that they had eventually entered a carriage. Shortly after that, she drifted off again.

* * *

" _Katara?"_

Her blue eyes opened and Ursa's soft features once again greeted her. She was smiling but her mouth was a bit tight with apprehension and her eyes were uneasy.

"We are here."

"Where are we?" Katara asked despite her better judgment, rubbing her weary eyes as she did so.

"Forgetful Valley," Ursa replied but Katara had no sphere of reference for where that may or may not be so she was just as lost as she had been before asking. She'd expected to be back at the prison…

Ursa sighed and took Katara's hands in hers. "We are going to see the Mother of Faces. She is a spirit who has the ability to give faces to living organisms. In order for you to stay with us and out of prison, we are going to have to do something about your looks."

Katara's eyes swelled with tears.

"I'm going to ask her for mercy. Maybe we can convince her to only change your eyes and not your entire face." Ursa placed a hand on her cheek. "But regardless of what happens, you will still be you, Katara."

Katara shook her head. "I don't want to…"

"I know. I know but Ozai won't let you interact with anyone else until you no longer look like a waterbender."

Katara didn't understand. She didn't understand at all… She wanted to ask why. No, she wanted to go home. She wanted her mother, not Zuko's mother. She wanted her face! She didn't want a new face! She just wanted all of this to stop!

"Then you'll be able to go outside the palace and play with Azula and her friends. We won't have to hide you in a room anymore and you won't have to go back to the prison as often if at all. I know this isn't what you want but we don't really have any other choice… If I could change it, I would but I'm afraid I'm just as powerless as you are."

Ursa was honest and Katara knew that and it made her feel a bit better. It was nice knowing that there were multiple birds trapped in Ozai's cage. It was nice knowing that she and Ursa, as different as they were, occupied the same cage. Ursa wasn't as free as she'd originally thought and she seemed displeased about all this too.

Knowing what Ursa said was true and that she didn't have a choice if she valued her freedom, Katara steeled herself and exited the carriage.

"Want to take your blanket with you?" Ursa inquired. "It might get cold in the woods."

Sniffling, Katara nodded and Ursa helped her wrap the blanket securely around her shoulders.

* * *

They walked through the dark wood for what felt like hours. She could no longer see the sky. The branches above and the haze overhead blended together to make a perfect canopy, like a tent meant to shield those within from the elements. Dark leaves occasionally fell around them like feather light rain. Shadows crashed down at the oddest angles, giving the trees and rocks menacing faces that made Katara uneasy. Deep down she knew they weren't really alive but that didn't keep her imagination from going wild and giving the trees fangs and low, gravely voices.

Katara made sure to stay close to Ursa's side, occasionally squeezing her hand and seeking out assurance when she got nervous. Each time Ursa obliged and Katara no longer questioned the woman's genuine sincerity.

They stopped frequently, checking for beasts but luckily none ever confronted them. Katara could hear them and see their beady eyes staring at her. The creatures in the wood followed closely. If they stopped, the footsteps stopped… They were followed and watched by the creatures hiding in the forested blanketed in mist but never confronted.

Eventually, they reached a clearing with a large perfectly rounded lake in the middle of its expanse.

Katara smelled the water long before they reached it. She sensed it too. Her senses were attuned to it so she wasn't surprised at all when she saw the clearing contained a stretch of water.

Ursa approached the pool slowly. "Mother of Faces?"

Ripples began forming on the water's surface. They were small at first. Then, they grew into splashes and finally, formed a huge funnel that threatened to scrape the inky heavens.

Katara flinched as the world was illuminated by a strange, unholy glow.

Slowly, the spiraling torrent began to take form. It grew arms and multiple horned heads. Ethereal, transparent faces burst from the water and surrounded the emerging spirit, orbiting her like planets.

When the waterbender's eyes adjusted to the otherworldly, turquoise glow, she saw that the form now looked more like a tree than a water funnel but water still surrounded her powerful base, keeping her rooted in the water from which she emerged.

The spirit had no eyes but multiple pale, ashen faces, each with a mouth and dainty nose. Her form was gigantic and intimidating but her size didn't frighten her. What frightened Katara were her hands… Her hands were claws made of jagged bark, just waiting to rip apart any who might anger or disturb her…

The spirit leaned toward them and Katara took a step behind Ursa's form.

"Are you…the Mother of Faces?" Ursa called, her voice trembling.

"I am," the spirit replied gently, her voice stern but more gentle than she'd been expecting.

"Then you have power over living creature's faces and features?"

"Indeed."

Almost immediately Katara noticed that only the face in the center of the entity's head spoke. The other five or so faces that surrounded her remained completely mute but were somehow animated, following the center's mood and actions as if attached to it by invisible strings.

"Can you give my daughter new eyes?"

The Mother of Faces mouth tightened into a frown. "What is wrong with the ones she has?"

"They are blue…"

"You wish to change the color of her eyes?" The spirit shifted, her bark crackling eerily and echoing repeatedly throughout the wood as she moved.

Ursa nodded but still held her head down politely.

"You realize that this is a very unorthodox request?"

"I do…but I've adopted her and I want her to feel more at home with me in the Fire Nation… I don't want to take away her entire heritage or what she obtained from her birth parents. My husband and I want her to only be altered slightly, to make her more ours…" Ursa cringed at the sincerity of her lie and Katara felt the cold shiver race up her spine through the tight hold she had on her hand.

"Very well. I will offer her a new face but with only minor alternations."

The spirit extended her hand palm up towards them and it began to glow with a bright gold light and the light began to take form within the palm of her hand. Soon, Katara was seeing her reflection in the gold form. It was like looking in a mirror only she saw herself with the most unusual eyes she'd ever seen. They were still blue only it looked like a golden firework had gone off inside them. They were piercing and otherworldly, as if they could see through her…

"Child, do you accept this face?"

No. She didn't at all. She didn't want new eyes. She didn't want this new life being offered to her both literally and symbolically…but she had no choice. This life wasn't the life she wanted but she had to assume that it was better than no life at all, a wasted life in a prison cell, life as a cell dweller… Surely, this was better than the alternative…

"Y-Yes."

The apparition held before her dispersed in a puff of gold and scattered to the wind like a thousand tawny embers. The Mother of Face's hand was then extended under her chin, the branches that made her fingers crackling and creaking as they wriggled.

Katara's face began to glow until it went completely white and was then pealed away, disappearing into the spirit's palm. The spirit then grabbed one of the thousands of faces floating around her, stripped away pieces of the forehead and the jaw, contorting it to her liking and then placed the white mask onto Katara. Once the white cloaked her face completely, the Mother of Faces grasped both sides of Katara's face in her hands as if to permanently plaster the new face into place.

Blinding light erupted from between the gaps in the spirit's strange, branchy fingers as Katara absorbed her creation. The light grew so bright Ursa had to shield her eyes and when she opened them again, the spirit was gone but Katara was still there, standing eerily still by the edge of the pool as if in shock.

"Katara?" Ursa cried, gripping the hem of her robe and running to the girl's side, skidded to a stop in front of her in a blind panic.

"Katara?" she tried again.

After a moment, the young girl finally looked at her, revealing the most unique eyes Ursa had ever seen. Her eyes were blue but her irises were now speckled with bursts of golden dust.

Ursa's blood ran cold with how beautifully it turned out. Guilt coiled in her gut, knowing Ozai would get his way and knowing very well that she'd helped him get his way. Katara looked otherworldly, just as he intended.

* * *

When Zuko finally saw Katara again, she wouldn't look at him. She would speak to him but she would never look directly at him. She would look at everything except him. She looked at the turtleducks, the sparkling water in the pool, the flowers, but never at him.

It was infuriating.

She was in her favorite place in the palace gardens, beneath the shade tree. This wasn't new or strange because Katara always sat beneath the cool shade of that tree because she hated the Fire Nation heat but even when she sat there in the past, she would always look at him when he was nearby or when he talked to her.

"What's wrong with you?" he finally had to ask.

"Nothing."

"Then why won't you look at me when I talk to you?"

Katara paled.

"Because Katara has monster eyes now," Azula declared as she strolled across the garden and playfully sat down next to her.

Somehow, Katara's head managed to get even lower. It was like she was trying to completely vanish beneath the shade of the tree or perhaps disappear into its trunk.

"Cut it out, Azula," Zuko hissed.

"It's true. Isn't it, Katara?" Azula leaned toward the waterbender.

When Katara didn't answer, Zuko crawled towards her and tried to get a look at her eyes but she was being stubborn. Again, she held her head away and kept her eyes down.

"Mother took her to a spirit a few days ago and it gave her new eyes."

Zuko frowned. "What was wrong with her old ones?"

In truth, Zuko had liked Katara's eyes. They were unlike anything he'd seen in the Fire Nation before.  _She_ was unlike anything he'd seen before but her eyes were her defining feature in his opinion. The closest to blue eyes he'd ever seen were Mai's steely eyes but they weren't the same. They weren't as big or as blue.

"Father didn't like them," Azula replied matter-of-factly with a dismissive shrug.

Zuko's frown deepened. How could anyone _not_  like those eyes?

Finally, Katara looked at him, albeit reluctantly and what he saw made him tumble backwards and almost fall into the turtleduck pond.

The waterbender's eyes were still blue but…they were now corrupted by streaks of gold radiating out from her pupil like an explosion, like someone was bending golden flames out of her pupils.

Azula began laughing at Zuko's reaction and Katara looked like she might cry. Instantly, he knew he'd hurt her feelings and that his reaction was probably what she was desperately trying to avoid.

"I'm sorry… It's just…" he began but soon found he couldn't find the right words. "I didn't… They aren't bad…I just liked your other eyes more."

Katara's mouth twitched into something that almost resembled a smile. "Me too."

* * *

The day Ozai told her she could begin the waterbending training they'd agreed upon, Katara didn't know if she should be excited or petrified. On the way to the Capital Temple, Ozai had informed her she would have her first lesson and meet her master. Again, she wasn't sure how she should feel about this news.

When they reached Capital Temple, the Fire Sages greeted them accordingly.

Katara noticed Ozai was disinterested in the Fire Sages (as he usually was). They were a means to an end. She wasn't surprised to see that Ozai wasn't the least bit spiritual but for some reason (one she didn't know at the time) he wanted some spiritual connection between her, her training, and the Fire Sages…

The Imperial Firebenders were also present, lots of them. They filled the room to the brim and even Ozai seemed a bit more alert than normal. The atmosphere was different than it was when it was merely her. Ozai had become comfortable with her and the same could be said for her guards. They had all reached an understanding of one another during her time there. She had even obtained some privileges and freedoms but something was different today… Was it because they knew she'd be bending or was it something else?

Eventually, a woman in thick, rattily chains was brought into the room and everyone instantly stood or sat upright at the sight of her. Everyone's eyes followed her intently and Katara could feel the tension everyone felt at the mere sight of her. Were they afraid of her? Was this who had them so on edge?

The older woman looked healthy yet frail, a bit thinner than she should be. Half of her faded black hair was behind her and the other whiter half fell around her face. Her eyes were steel blue, but features were indistinct, making it impossible for Katara to pinpoint her heritage. She didn't necessarily look Fire Nation but that didn't mean that she wasn't. She'd seen several people in the Fire Nation with gray, steely blue eyes…and she'd seen people from the Tribes with fair skin.

"Katara, this is Hama. She is going to be your waterbending master," the High Sage informed her as two Imperial Firebenders forced Hama into a seat across from her.

After giving the guards a nasty glare, Hama cast her gaze back to Katara. There was a flash of surprise across her face and Katara assumed she'd seen her eyes (she was getting use to people reacting to them) but it melted away as quickly as it came.

Hama offered her a weak yet genuine smile. "It's nice to meet you, Katara."

Instantly, Katara felt a bond with this woman. She reminded her of her grandmother; Gran Gran and she  _didn't_ have gold eyes. And if she was going to be her waterbending master then that meant she had to be a waterbender and she couldn't put into words how wonderful it felt to be around someone who _wasn't_  Fire Nation.

Timidly, Katara smiled back.

"Where are you from, Katara?" Hama inquired gently.

"The South Pole." 

Hama smiled again. "I'm from the Southern Water Tribe as well."

"Really?" Katara exclaimed, leaning toward the bound waterbender. "I've never met another waterbender from our tribe!"

Something in Hama's eyes went dark. "That's because the Fire Nation wiped them all out."

"Let's stay on task, shall we?" Ozai growled from the other side of the room.

"Calm down,  _Your Grace,"_  Hama spat. "If this girl is here, she knows of your cruelty. She knows why she is here and not in her homeland with her family. Your manipulation cannot erase her memory. You may not have hauled her here yourself but you are just as responsible."

The Fire Prince rose to his feet and took a stance behind Hama before gripping the back of her neck. "Remember why you are here. You are here to teach her what you know, not corrupt her."

"I wasn't aware that speaking the truth caused corruption, but I will do as you wish." Her tone oozed scorn but the prince seemed pacified by her words.

Ozai removed his hand from the back of her neck and Katara could see burns the shape of his fingers left behind on her skin. As he returned to his seat behind Katara, she wondered how Hama had managed to not flinch. That had to have hurt...

"So," Hama continued, the sweet, elderly woman was back just like that, as if a switch had been flipped. "How much waterbending do you know?"

Katara blushed. "Um, not much. I can bend the water in snow and I can push and pull the water a bit."

The corners of the old waterbender's mouth curved upward. "Then I suppose we will start with the basics."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> I'll admit that I am really stretching the limits in this universe. Obviously, Hama has been recaptured but she DID complete her legendary escape as discussed in The Puppetmaster. That's how Ozai knows about bloodbending in the first place. I hinted at her in the first chapter so kudos to all those who noticed. However, here we are going to assume that she was recaptured in the Fire Nation and taken back to prison with extra precautions etc. and ultimately, used to teach Katara what she knows (insert dramatic music here).
> 
> Another stretch involves The Mother of Faces. For those of you who don't know, she is a spirit from The Search that has the ability to alter faces of living creatures. That said, I am making the lofty assumption that Ursa knew about The Mother of Faces and her powers prior to the timeline portrayed in The Search where she goes to her shortly after leaving the Capital and (SPOILERS) asks for a new face/identity. So we are going to assume Ursa knew about this spirit BEFORE all that and knew that she could alter Katara's appearance and communicated that to Ozai to keep Katara out of prison etc., etc. I am also making the assumption that The Mother of Faces would like the challenge of only altering a face slightly (in this case the eyes) and decides to humor Ursa and Katara because she could sense their sincerity and all that spiritual jazz. So humor me! Also, do NOT freak out about Katara's eyes too much. We will be seeing the Mother of Faces again (hint, hint, wink, wink). I will admit to being a bit of a mad scientist when it comes to my stories but there is a method to my madness so just go with it.
> 
> Geez that was a long author note… Sorry about that!
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

"Do I really have to call her Tara all the time?" Zuko groused, practically pouting.

"Yes. That's what we are supposed to call her now," Ursa replied as she slipped her hands into her sleeves and sat on Katara's canopy bed.

"Why? I don't understand any of this."

"It's what your father wants. It's what is necessary for her to stay here with us."

Katara could tell by the look on Zuko's face that he didn't believe a word his mother had said but decided against arguing or questioning the matter further. Everything surrounding her was strange and dubious but the best thing for everyone involved was to either ignore it or go with it and that was exactly what was being done yet again.

Shortly after the waterbender visited the Mother of Faces with Ursa, Ozai had demanded that they start calling her Tara. That was the new name that now accompanied this new existence. She didn't like it but she was glad that there were some pieces of her old name in her new one. Ozai had wanted a more drastic name and had suggested names like Rei, Ziah, or Kyu but like always, Ursa had been her protector. She argued that Tara was different enough and that the name no longer held an obvious origin. Surprisingly, Ozai had complied with Ursa's will and _Tara_  was the result.

It was her new name but she still didn't answer to it half the time, something Azula's friends Mai and Ty Lee had found odd upon meeting her. She'd been introduced as Tara and Azula had parroted the story Ozai had taught them to tell. That she was a nonbender with no memory or family. That she had been found near Forgetful Valley, that she was passed around until she ended up with the Fire Sages, and that Ozai had ultimately taken her in. Thus, they called her Tara but half the time she forgot to answer to it, so they thought she was strange. She thought she could live with that though. She wasn't that fond of them either.

Zuko cast his gaze across the room to her as if searching for her permission, as if to ask if this was okay with her.

Katara held his gaze for a moment before looking away and sinking further into the red couch she sat on.

"Can I call her Katara if Father isn't around?" he asked lowly, his eyes not leaving her.

Ursa looked taken back for a moment before smiling. "I suppose. As long as you don't do so around anyone else who doesn't know the truth about her."

She couldn't believe what she was hearing, but she was grateful and for the first time in her life, she almost wanted to hug a firebender. She could have hugged him for giving her that microscopic gift. It seemed simple and insignificant but it meant a lot to know she wasn't losing her identity completely. Maybe Zuko could help her keep it alive—at least to him she could still be Katara.

* * *

Katara had been at the Capital Temple when everything changed. Ozai had left her with the Fire Sages as he sometimes did when he wasn't in the mood to have her roaming around the palace or when he simply wasn't in the mood to deal with her. As a result, she would be stuck in the Capital Temple with the Fire Sages and Hama until Ozai saw it fit to come get her.

Inside that temple, she'd heard everything. She heard of how Azulon had passed and that his wish was to be succeeded by his second son, Ozai…

The funeral had taken place so she expected the new Fire Lord to come at any time and take her to the palace, as was their routine. Becoming the Fire Lord had to have been a busy and trying task and Katara assumed that was why she'd stayed with the sages in the Capital Temple for so long. He didn't have time for her and he probably didn't feel like making time for her, so she'd stayed with the sages and with Hama, practicing her bending, learning about Fire Nation history, and wandering the catacombs while the funeral and Ozai's coronation occurred.

When Ozai finally came for her, she'd been in the small room they'd given her in the temple, a room that had once been used for storage and scrolls. It was poorly lit and contained a few glowing, yellow lanterns, a small, white bed, a golden chair with red cushions, and several shelves that had once contained vials and bottles of various liquids but they'd been promptly removed so she couldn't utilize them. It was full of Fire Nation clutter, scrolls, vases, fire lilies, and herbs but it was still a room nonetheless. It was nicer than it was when they'd first showed it to her though. Some of the sages (the ones who were more fond of her) had taken the time to make her occasional living quarters a bit homier.

Fire Lord Ozai didn't say a word. Flanked by countless Imperial Firebenders, he just opened the door and motioned for her to follow him back out.

Katara did as instructed and it didn't really sink in until she got close to him; it wasn't until she saw him in even nicer robes and with Azulon's shiny crown atop his dark, sleek head that she realized that Ozai was the new Fire Lord… He was arguably the most powerful man in the world now and she was at his mercy.

Her head was buzzing with questions but she didn't ask any of them. She'd wait until she could talk to Ursa or Zuko. Talking to Ozai was something she always tried to avoid if possible.

Eventually, they reached the palace and he all but abandoned her upon arrival. He pushed her towards some servants, barked a few orders, and went about his business, seeming preoccupied and engrossed in other tasks. Once he'd seen that she'd be tended to, he darted off to what he likely considered to be bigger and better things.

"Stay out of trouble," was his only instruction.

Normally, Katara would be  _thrilled_  with Ozai's disinterest. She would be ecstatic to have his eyes off her but this was unsettling. It did nothing to dissolve the worry coiling in her gut about the sick stability she'd obtained here. He seemed bored with her and uninterested, which didn't bode well for her. If he didn't want her anymore, she'd be freed from one prison and forced back into another. If he decided she was more trouble than she was worth, she would lose the freedom she would need to be able to one day return to her home and her family. She stood better odds in this prison than she did in the other but she didn't want to dwell on that now. She would go crazy if she did, so she decided to confront more immediate matters like finding Ursa instead.

The servants took her away, provided her a bath, cloaked her in fine crimson silks, and once she looked like a unique Fire Nation doll, sent her on her way. One good thing about her new eyes and name was that they had given her new freedoms. Being  _Tara_ the nonbender was more beneficial than Katara the waterbender. Tara didn't need guards constantly. Tara had servants who looked after her but Ozai still _never_  let her forget that he knew she was Katara underneath the lies he'd bathed her in.

The longer she was in the palace, the more she was realizing something was wrong. It looked the same but it felt different. The atmosphere was off. The palace was in disarray and her gut was screaming that it was more than Azulon's death; it was more than just Ozai becoming Fire Lord. Servants looked confused and advisors, nobles, and countless other individuals she'd never seen before roamed the halls. It was eerily quite yet busy at the same time.

Most of the visitors ignored her but some acknowledged her. She politely turned her nose up at most of them although by now she should know better. Ursa and the Fire Sages had been shoving Fire Nation etiquette down her throat for almost a year now but sometimes she didn't care to enforce what she'd learned. She didn't know who these people were nor did she care. If Ozai hadn't seen it fit to introduce her, she wasn't about to start introducing herself as  _Tara_. She hated doing that so she often kept her mouth shut around strangers, making her come off as shy or standoffish even though she wasn't.

Katara checked the gardens and wandered over the marble floors and through the bloodstained halls, tugging on servant's robes asking them where Princess Ursa was but no one knew. Everyone was shaking their heads, pointing fingers, and telling her to ask someone else. Exasperated, she eventually gave up and began asking for Zuko and even Azula instead, and unfortunately, found the latter first.

Azula was in one of the palace's many sitting rooms, sitting in a chair placed near a small rounded, mahogany table with her legs folded in her lap as she shot small fire balls at the tiny dust particles floating through the air.

"Where's Ursa?" Katara inquired.

"She's gone," Azula replied indifferently.

"…When's she coming back?"

Azula gave an exasperated sigh. "I swear you're as dumb as ZuZu sometimes. She's  _gone_  gone. She isn't coming back."

Katara reeled, taking a few steps back and away, shocked by Azula's reply as well as her reaction. It stung. It stung a lot. But why? Why would Princess Ursa leave? Everything had been fine the last time she saw her. She'd even patted her head and told her that she would see her once she came back. This was so abrupt and out of nowhere. And how could Azula be so passive about losing her mother?! How could she not care?! Surely she missed her! Ursa wasn't even Katara's mother and she was already aching at the thought of losing her and her kindness.

"Where's Zuko?" It came out as more of a terse command than a question but she didn't care. At that moment, he was all she wanted.

"Probably under his bed crying," the young firebender snickered.

* * *

"Zuko?" she cried as she ran though the palace gardens again, making sure she hadn't overlooked him in her haste.

"Zuko!"

She'd been running through the palace for what felt like an eternity and stopped dead in her tracks when she stumbled upon what was easily her least favorite area of the entire Fire Nation Royal Palace, the gallery, the never-ending hallway lined with the towering portraits off all the Fire Lords. At the end of the line of portraits, was a new one, one with a hauntingly familiar face. It was Ozai. Ozai's portrait now hung on the wall along with every other Fire Lord that had ever been, staring down at her with those cold yet scorching eyes that seemed to contemptibly bore holes into her soul.

This was real. This was really happening. Her heart took a violent plunge into her gut. Ozai really was the new Fire Lord and something about that was suddenly even more unsettling than she'd ever anticipated. Something about Ozai being Fire Lord was more disturbing than Azulon's reign, the reign that had led to her imprisonment, which led her here…

"Zuko!"

Her vocal chords were chaffed and raw from yelling so much, but she finally reached his room and barreled inside.

"Zuko?"

" _Katara?"_

Finally! She finally heard his voice answer her! She'd never been so happy to hear that voice in her life.

He was in the corner of his room by the golden screen doors that led to his balcony, holding the knife his uncle had given him not too long ago, slipping the weapon in and out of its sheath.

The waterbender sat down on her knees in front of him.

"What happened?" she whispered.

Zuko sighed and brought his knees up to his chest. "I don't really know. Just before Grandfather died, Dad had requested an audience with him, and asked for him to revoke Uncle's birthright. Grandfather got mad and then Azula was coming into my room late that night saying that Dad was going to kill me…"

Katara's eyes widened. "Was he really…?"

Yes, Katara could imagine Ozai doing a lot, but Zuko was his son, his flesh and blood. If Ozai were going to draw the line somewhere, surely he would draw it with his children. Her father would never even  _think_  of hurting her or Sokka but then again, Ozai wasn't half the man her father was…

"I don't know. Azula said Grandfather told him that he must know the pain of losing a first born son but she could've been lying." Zuko rested his forehead on his raised knees.

"But where's Ursa?"

"I woke up and she was gone and Grandfather was dead. Dad won't tell me what happened…and no one else really knows."

Without thinking, Katara inched closer to him and rested her head on his shoulder.

He was warm. She'd never been this close to a firebender before but she never really thought about him as a firebender. He was just Zuko. He was just her friend and she really needed a friend, especially now that she'd lost another mother.

He was warm, really warm and it wasn't awful. It wasn't awful at all. It was comforting, like curling up with her favorite fur blanket from back home, the one she would always wrap around her shoulders during the dead of winter, the one she'd snuggle with after her father had started the fire and her mother had made them a warm meal.

Closing her eyes, she tried to indulge in the sensation and what it reminded her of instead of the cold, hard reality of the world crashing down around them.

Zuko never said he appreciated her company that day or that he was glad she was there in that room with him but she'd always assumed because he'd never complained and didn't offer to move that he'd been grateful and that he liked having her close as much as she liked being close to him.

* * *

As expected, once Prince Ozai became Fire Lord Ozai, things went from bad to worse. Shortly after Ursa disappeared Katara's waterbending  _'training'_ changed. It began revolving around moon cycles and each session became longer, stranger, and more strenuous than the last. With every full moon, she was taken to the Capital Temple to practice her bending with Hama but since Ozai was now the Fire Lord, he no longer had the time to closely monitor her lessons as he once did, so she would be placed in the care of the High Sage and Fire Sages instead.

Usually, Katara would be locked in a room with a heavily restrained Hama, lots of guards, the High Sage, and a few other Fire Sages (and sometimes Ozai). They would then bring in a small amount of water once the door was locked and the deadbolt was set and after even more guards were placed outside the door just in case they somehow managed to get past the first set. However, things were slightly different this time.

Like always, they were placed in a large, vacant room within the temple with all the guards, chains, and locks, but this time, there was no water. Usually, there was a tub or barrel of water for them to utilize but this time, there was nothing. It was just her, Hama, the guards, the sages, and the dark metal walls surrounding them.

"There's no water…" Katara said as she eyed the poorly lit space.

Hama chuckled, her hair graying hair falling down into her face. "You've got to keep an open mind, Katara. There is water in places you'd never think about."

"I don't understand…"

"As a waterbender, you can control water wherever it exists. You can even pull water out of thin air, so technically there is water here."

Slowly, Katara was realizing what this particular lesson would be consisting of. It sounded challenging and her instincts told her to go back to the library with the Fire Sages and learn more about Fire Nation history while she still could.

"Tonight I'll begin teaching you the ultimate waterbending technique. It can only be done during a full moon when your bending is at its peak and it doesn't require us to have barrels of water at our disposal."

Katara nodded her understanding.

"Can you feel the power the full moon brings?" Hama wandered to the large window within the space, stretching her arms out (as much as she could in her unforgiving shackles) as if she were absorbing warmth from a midday sun. "It has blessed waterbenders with its glow, allowing us to do incredible things." Her fingers twitched, causing the veins in her arms to bulge.

Following Hama's eyes, Katara gazed out the barred window, seeing the swollen, white orb hanging heavily in the sky. She'd noticed she always felt better at night, stronger, more alert. Night seemed to heighten her senses, and during full moons, she would always struggle with sleep (something that had driven Sokka and her parents crazy over the years). Life would race around inside her and she could feel that same surging power now.

"Where there is life, there is water." Hama gazed back at the guards blocking the sturdy metal door behind them.

Suddenly, Katara could see it, feel it even. Hama's words had cast a whole new light on the world around her. She could _feel_  the liquid in their bodies. It was pulsing around inside them, through the veins and arteries that slept under every inch of their skin. Closing her eyes, she could almost hear each pulse; like water was being pumped into a thousand little streams and if they were made of streams then it was no different than pulling water inside snow or even out of a barrel…

Katara paled at the thought of bending the water in another body, bending the _blood_  in another body.

As if on cue, more guards entered the room, signaled for the others to set the deadbolts and locks on the other side, and placed a rusted cage full of big, black rats that had been caught throughout the temple on the floor in front of her.

She could feel the fluid in them just as she had felt it in the men nearby. The invisible streams were smaller, less liquid but it was still there.

"You can control the water in living beings bodies just as you can controlled the water from the barrels but you must be able to enforce your will over theirs. Rats are simple so we will start with them. Go ahead. See if you can move them."

Katara took a few apprehensive steps back. "It won't hurt them, will it?"

"Not if you're careful."

* * *

When Katara turned ten, she began changing. That was when Zuko started noticing differences in her. The compassionate girl he'd come to consider his friend would turn distant and cold as a result of the training Ozai put her through.

Every time Katara would return from wherever it was Ozai sent her to train, she would come back…wrong…for a while. Her being sent away was nothing new. Ozai was always dragging her off somewhere but she would always come back unfazed. However, that was no longer the case. Now she would argue with Ozai (sometimes to the point of angry tears) about leaving each time he said it was time for them to go and would feverishly declare that she didn't want to leave only to be defeated in the end but that never kept her from putting up a fight.

Each time she returned, she was there but she wasn't there. Her unique eyes would go distant. She wouldn't eat and she would lock herself up in her room, which was very out of character for her. Katara didn't really like being alone. She'd always wanted to spend him with him and Ursa, and even after his mother was gone, she would still want to be with him whenever she had the chance but every time she came back she wouldn't even want to be near him.

Sitting outside her door against one of the many columns that lined the long corridor, he could hear her sniffling. She was crying.

" _What are you doing?"_

Zuko looked up to see Fire Lord Ozai looking down at him contemptibly. Clumsily, he rose to his feet to address him.

"I just came to check on K—" he paused when he realized he was about to foolishly call her by her real name. "Tara."

"She'll be fine. Just give her some space. You have no business interacting with her anyway. Leave her alone and go back to your quarters, Prince Zuko." The Fire Lord folded his hands behind his back and sauntered off, leaving a trail of intimidation and debasement in his wake.

For a moment, Zuko contemplated listening to his father's command but ultimately chose against it. Katara had been there for him when his mother disappeared, so he felt a bit obligated to return the favor even if it was technically going against his father's orders.

Once he was sure Ozai was gone, he went back to her door.

"Katara?" he called.

" _Go away…"_

"It's Zuko."

Silence.

The prince was suddenly at a loss. He was not equipped to handle this but he wasn't taking no for an answer. He was Fire Nation royalty for Agni's sake!

Puffing his chest, he knocked again. "Katara, as Prince of the Fire Nation I demand that you let me in."

" _I don't care if you're the Earth King, I told you to go away!"_

Now he was angry. Now it was a challenge and he wasn't about to lose. He grabbed the doorknob and melted it right off the door, the gold of the handle running down the creases of the thick mahogany door and pooling on the floor. Once the obstacle was gone, he entered the room without hesitation.

Upon entering he could see that it was almost pitch black inside and Katara was buried deep within the crimson covers on her large, canopy bed. Instantly, he remembered why he wanted to come in in the first place. It wasn't to prove a point or to enforce his newly obtained authority, it was to check on her although he had no idea what to do now that he'd finally managed to bust in… He hadn't thought that far ahead.

Unsure of what to do, Zuko lit a few candles and lanterns scattered throughout the room and sat on the bed next to her swaddled form.

He never really knew what to do when she cried so he just sat there so she wouldn't have to cry alone.

Katara didn't acknowledge him but she didn't yell at him anymore either. If she was really and truly adamant about being alone she would be screaming or throwing things at him by now. He knew from experience that when she was really angry with him, she wasn't afraid to let him know and didn't pull any punches.

For a long time, Zuko sat there on top of the covers next to her and stared at the flames of the candles, controlling their size and attempting to do some of the meditating Uncle had demonstrated to him a long time ago. He doubted he was doing it right but he didn't really have anything else to do…

"What they make me do… It's not really waterbending, is it?" Katara finally spoke, meekly glancing over her blanket-covered shoulder back at him as her eyes swelling with unshed tears.

Zuko frowned. "Probably not. Before you ever came here, Father told Fire Lord Azulon that he wanted a bloodbender."

Katara looked at her hands as if they weren't hers. "Bloodbending… I… I think I knew from the beginning…that he just wanted to use my bending. I knew there was a catch and that there would be a price to pay…but I didn't know how… I didn't know what he wanted from me."

"I'm sorry…" Zuko wanted to ask her questions but he'd probably just upset her more and since he didn't want to do that, he refrained. She'd tell him when she wanted to,  _if_  she wanted to. Instead, he inched closer to her and lied down on his back so he could stare at the ceiling, and when he did, she finally rolled over to face him.

"Thanks," she breathed.

His brow furrowed. "For what?"

The waterbender smiled at him, genuinely. "For being here even though I told you to go."

She nestled even closer to him, something that would've normally made him flinch away but because it was Katara, it was okay. Over the past two years, he had learned Katara was an intimate creature that liked hugs and various forms of physical contact when expressing herself. It was how she showed she cared and expressed gratitude, so he'd learned to accept it even though it went against his upbringing and his nature. If it made her happy and if it stopped her crying, he was okay with the proximity and the contact, even though he still thought it was strange; not bad just…strange.

* * *

With Ursa gone, mercy came in the form of a plump man with kind yet sad amber eyes and silver hair. General Iroh, they called him, also known as the Dragon of the West. He also happened to be Azula and Zuko's uncle and Ozai's older brother.

Katara often wondered how Iroh felt about coming home and learning his brother had stolen his birthright while he was grieving the loss of his only son but he never uttered a word of it to her nor did she hear him say anything about it to anyone else.

Iroh's eyes were dull and not quite as sharp as Zuko's or Ozai's. Perhaps firebender eyes dulled with age or with wisdom. She wasn't sure which. She simply noticed his eyes weren't quite like the others and there was a strange, unidentifiable comfort that accompanied that.

She was introduced to him as Tara, which was to be expected. She hadn't been introduced as Katara since she was introduced to Hama and the Fire Sages a few years ago. However, Iroh had seen through her and her identity. She knew he saw the lies crawling on her skin like spider-snakes but he didn't judge her for it or call her on it. She mainly saw pity when he looked at her. She didn't want it though. It was appreciated but she didn't want it. Her pride didn't want it. They could take her name, her identity, and her eyes but she still had her pride and she would hold onto it until her dying breath.

Iroh was a joy in her opinion, nothing like his father or brother. Azula had always spoken poorly of him but Katara quite liked him. He was funny, offered helpful advice, and told good stories. He taught her how to play Pai Sho and even brought her gifts when he went on his abundant shopping sprees. He was a kind face and Katara appreciated those because they were so seldom in this glowing world of red.

As time passed, Iroh had noticed how she would be unnerved and detached after returning from her full moon sessions with Hama. No one knew the extent of her training though. No one knew about how she had accidentally killed countless rats in her attempt to master the blood in their bodies. She hadn't told him how she'd learned their anatomy inside and out due to her constant interaction with their insides. She didn't breathe a word of it. She left those experiences in the temple, hoping it would somehow make it less real.

She never breathed a word of it to him but Iroh would always bring her tea to calm her nerves and her uneasy mind as if he did know how horrible her training was. Zuko had apparently told him of how she suffered after practicing bloodbending… Regardless of whether it was intuition or Zuko, he would come to her room, politely ask to come in, and offer her tea and his company. It was nice and it worked. It relaxed her and allowed her to tether herself back to her sanity…for a little while longer at least, until the next full moon came around. Then, the cycle would begin anew.

* * *

Every black hair long the rodents' bodies reached for the ceiling as she began pulling at the blood sleeping beneath their inky hides. Their bodies froze in place and twitched with resistance as she obtained a firm grip on their veins. Their tails stiffened and quivered with pain as their beady eyes shrunk.

Taking in a deep drag of the full moon's energy, Katara lifted her hands over her head and forced each rat to stand on their front legs as if they were doing hand stands like the ones Ty Lee often demonstrated.

She held the position for a long time before curling her fingers and forcing them back onto all fours. Once there, she forced each one back into the cage and made the last one lock the latch back into place with its coiling tail.

Releasing the breath she'd been holding in her lungs, she lowered her hands and closed her eyes in a vain attempt to calm her nerves and return to a more tranquil state of mind.

Bloodbending was something akin to torture. It was wrong. She knew that in her heart and in her gut but she was a slave to the inertia of her life, of  _Tara's_  life. If she had the means or the power, she'd outlaw bloodbending so no one could ever dare do it again but she had neither the means nor the power—at least not yet.

With each full moon, she had become more and more desensitized to it and a part of her was even empowered by the ability. She was no longer wholeheartedly appalled by the way the rat's eyes would shrink with fear, no longer nauseated by the resistance in the muscles, tendons, and tissues within the body. It all began to fade like her humanity, her compassion. What truly frightened her now wasn't the act itself but how she almost craved the power rush she got, how performing this kind of bending was one of the few things that _didn't_  make her feel powerless and she hated feeling powerless more and more every single day. Thus, making it harder and harder not to revel in her newfound power.

"You need to be able to use the technique without the aid of the full moon," Ozai said, visibly displeased. It was written all over the regal slopes of his face, evident in his tense body language.

Every few weeks or so, she would be forced to demonstrate what she'd learned to Fire Lord Ozai. He would watch emotionlessly no matter what she managed to do with the rats they provided and she was rapidly learning that this wasn't going as he'd hoped.

"That's impossible," argued Katara a bit too feverishly. "Right?" She cast her gaze to Hama, desperate for backup.

Hama mulled it over for a moment. "I'm not sure. I've never used the technique without the full moon but that doesn't necessarily mean it's impossible…"

Silently, Katara glared daggers at Hama for this unintentional treachery. If Ozai thought that it was even somewhat possible for her to bloodbend at will, they would be forced to train until they either made it possible or she fell over dead from the strain.

"I guess we are going to find out," the Fire Lord declared.

With that, he left, the High Sage and lower sages following him out, and once she heard the guards lock them in, Katara pounced.

"How could you say that?! You know he's just gonna make me try! Nothing is ever good enough for him! He is going to keep shoving this down my throat until I'm insane or dead!"

"Calm down, Katara," Hama huffed, exasperated with what she clearly considered an overreaction. "Do you honestly think I'd betray you like that? We are all that we have."

Katara folded her arms, still angry. Besides, Hama wasn't all she had. She was her only tie to her homeland and there was a strange affinity to that but she still had Zuko even though Hama continually argued otherwise. She constantly warned her that being close to Zuko was about as healthy as drinking two gallons of poison daily and that he was about as trustworthy as a two-headed rat-viper.

"Don't you want to be stronger?" the graying waterbender probed.

_Not like this,_ she replied privately, her eyes favoring the floor.

"Don't you understand, Katara?" Hama took a few steps toward her. "Every ability you learn is an ability you can use against the Fire Lord later."

"I didn't really think about it like that…"

"If you ever want to see your home and family again, you'll have to start thinking that way. Regardless of why these powers come into being, they are still your powers that _you_  can use. He may want them for himself and his own agendas but he still has to go through you to access to them."

Knowing it was true, Katara nodded.

Hama took Katara's hands in her chained ones. "If I didn't think this was for the best, I wouldn't push you. You're stronger than I am, Katara. You can take this to a level I never dreamed of. If you can learn to bloodbend at will, you can control anything or anyone."

"I don't know if I want that kind of power." Katara continued to look away, avoiding eye contact with her fellow bender.

"The choice is not yours. It is why you are here and what Ozai wants from you. It exists. You're already a bloodbender and it is your duty to use the gifts you've been given to end this war, to defeat him. They tried to wipe us out, our entire culture! They have taken your identity and now they are trying to use our gifts as their own!"

"I know…"

"Then you should understand what I'm talking about. We're the last waterbenders of the Southern Tribe. We have to fight these people whenever we can wherever they are with any means necessary."

Reluctantly, Katara looked up to make eye contact with Hama and saw that bitter hatred swirling around in her dull eyes. Hama wasn't quite right. Katara knew that now but she wasn't really right anymore either. A few more years of this and she would probably be lucky to be as sane as Hama.

Yes, Hama's logic was dark and sinister but there was truth in it, and Katara was just crazy enough to see it. Becoming stronger and meeting Ozai's expectations and demands was what she needed to do if she ever wanted a chance at getting her life back but the price was steep. Now she knew she probably would have been better off in that prison cell but there was no going back. This was the only hope she had now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> In case you haven't noticed already, I'm using Legend of Korra's bloodbending rules in this story. They really took bloodbending to the next level in that series and I plan on doing the same here. The LOK bloodbending saga with Amon (Noatak), Yakone, and Tarrlok inspired the bloodbending elements of this story so don't be surprised when those rules and attributes show up in future chapters.
> 
> Also, there will be one more chapter dedicated to backstory/past events and then we will be caught up to the actual Avatar timeline. After that, the storytelling will slow down and the pacing with change to support the actual plot. There was just too much backstory to confront solely in flashbacks. I also think it would've taken away from Zuko and Katara's relationship if I told this part of the story any other way. There was just too much to cover and I think it would hurt the quality of the story to rush it. Plus, I'd already started telling it this way so I'm following through with it. Hopefully I made the right choice!
> 
> Next time, Zuko will be attending the dreaded war meeting!
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

The late morning sun peaked between the leaves of the tree overhead and the water of the fountain flowed freely, mimicking the movements of a real waterfall. Silently, Katara watched her element flow through the fountain again and again in an endless cycle, feeling shockingly detached from it.

Leaning further against the tree trunk, she let herself drift and leave her body to the point where she could almost look down on herself from above the clouds. If Katara were to meet her eight-year-old self now, she would see a stranger. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought she'd change so much in three years.

The water trickled nearby and the turtle-ducks splashed around in the pond. Occasionally they would waddle up to her to make sure she didn't have any bread or any other treat for them. They'd nuzzle her hand and chew at the hem of her crimson skirt but would eventually give up. If they knew what she could do to them with a cruel twist of her hand, they wouldn't dare get within five feet of her.

Dew still clung to the lush grass beneath and around her, sparkling as the wind caused the blades to flutter. The day grew warmer by the second and the tiny drops of water still clinging to the garden's flowers, trees, and gazebos would soon evaporate. Katara dreaded the impending heat, which was why she was beneath her favorite tree, hiding from the sun and its abundant shade and dangling branches.

" _Katara!"_

The waterbender looked to her left to see Zuko jumping over the nearby atrium railing and rushing across the garden to her.

Her eyes brightened a bit as she smiled at him.

The prince returned her smile with a small curve of his lips, picked two apples from a nearby tree, and offered one to her before he plopping down on the lush ground next to her.

She took the apple to be polite but not because she was hungry. She'd bloodbent a guard for the first time not too long ago and she was yet to recover her appetite. At dinner, she would pick at her food and shift some onto Zuko's plate when Ozai wasn't looking.

"There's going to be a war meeting today," he said, wiping the excess apple juice off his mouth with the back of his hand.

Katara didn't fight her blatant cringe at Zuko's words. He knew she hated all that war talk and she didn't like hearing it when she was in the palace. More than anything she hated seeing him interested in it. Katara didn't like to think of Zuko as the Fire Prince but that was exactly what he was. He was heir to the throne and he looked more and more the part every day. His shoulders were broadening, his striking features were gaining more of a regal slope, his clothes and armor were always pristine, his eyes glowed at if a candle was constantly burning behind them, and his personality was that of a prince. He wanted instant gratification. He was spoiled, impatient and wanted everyone to bow over to his will. Zuko was everything she should hate but she didn't hate him at all despite what her instincts said, despite what Hama said. After all they'd been through together, she just couldn't bring herself to hate him.

"Lovely," she snorted, hoping he would take the hint and drop this subject.

"I'm thinking about going," he added, taking another chunk out of his apple with flawless teeth.

Katara looked up at him apprehensively. "I wouldn't…"

The prince scoffed. "Why not?"

She could think of about forty reasons different reasons for him not to go right off the top of her head, and if she were given a bit more time, she could come up with a thousand more but for some reason, she froze up. She couldn't put any of it into words.

"It just doesn't seem like a good idea…"

"You just don't want me to go." Zuko threw his apple core across the garden.

"No, but it's not just that…" Her eyes fell to the uneaten apple still sleeping in her hands.

"It'll be fine. Besides, I'm almost fourteen. It's time for me to attend a war meeting."

Katara frowned and slumped against the tree trunk in defeat. This was going nowhere fast. There was no talking to him while he was like this and she had to admit that he was getting more and more stubborn with age.

"You're overreacting. I'll come find you once it's over." Zuko rose to his feet and strolled off.

A part of her wanted to run after him. A part of her wanted to tell him to come back. She was ashamed that she hadn't done either but doubted it would've made much of a difference even if she had.

* * *

To forget about bloodbending and war meetings for a while, Katara journeyed into town. She'd snuck out of the palace to avoid the guards and the servants offering her (and ultimately forcing her into) a palanquin and went to the market to see if anything had been shipped to the market from the Water Tribes or to see if anything there even resembled Water Tribe culture. She'd been away from home so long she was starting to worry she would forget what things from home even looked like.

People would often stare at her if they recognized her and gossip amongst themselves about Ozai's mysterious adopted child. Some even bowed to her as if she were royalty just because she was technically a member of the royal family. Katara didn't relish in the attention and would often talk them down and say that the formality wasn't necessary even if Ozai had demanded it.

The market in the capital was always busy but suddenly seemed even busier than normal and she couldn't rightly pinpoint why. She didn't recall any festivals taking place. If there had been one, Zuko would have asked her to go because Iroh always enjoyed a good festival and Zuko hated going with him alone.

Eventually, she'd forced her way through the crowds and asked what all the commotion was about and a man at a fruit stand had replied that Prince Zuko was participating in an Agni Kai. Her heart had plummeted into the soles of her shoes and when she'd asked why, he merely said that it was something about disrespecting a general in a war meeting.

Katara broke out in a cold sweat that lathered her back. She started to go to this alleged Agni Kai but she really had no stomach for such things. She found them barbaric and an excuse for needless violence. Of course, Ozai had demanded she go to one to educate herself. Begrudgingly, she'd agreed to go but only if Zuko went with her. Azula had attended the event with them as well but judging by the excited look on her face, it hadn't been her first time. Latched to Zuko's side, Katara had watched the men dual for what felt like hours before one of them was finally defeated and to her horror, the match didn't officially end until one man got a seething burn that raced from his neck to his chest. She'd looked away at the last moment. Hiding her face in Zuko's arm until the screaming and cheering stopped. When they'd returned, Zuko had lied for her and told Ozai that she'd watched the entire fight.

Katara hadn't been able to watch a stranger be maimed and she already knew she wouldn't be able to watch Zuko's Agni Kai, even if he was victorious. She didn't want to see him burned nor did she want to see him turn into a monster and burn someone else in the name of honor. So she decided to wait. She scurried back to the palace and waited for it to end int Zuko's room. She patiently waited for him to return but he never did and somehow, she knew in the pit of her stomach that her life was about to change from bad to worse yet again.

Knowing something had gone wrong, Katara ventured out into the palace in search of answers and found that Azula had returned to the palace. She was in her large lavish room, wearing her silky red robes complete with gold trim as a servant combed through her hair for her. Since Azula was clearly preparing for bed, Katara didn't understand why she needed her hair brushed and a plate of fresh cherries on her nightstand.

"Good evening, little sister," Azula purred, something malevolent shining behind her amber eyes as they stared at Katara through the mirror before her.

If Katara knew Azula (and sadly, she did), she'd be the first in line to see Zuko's Agni Kai. The odds of Zuko being harmed were just to great and Katara knew Azula – the sadist that she was – wouldn't miss the prospect of seeing him in pain. She would know what happened to him and why he wasn't back.

"Would you like us to help you get ready for bed too, Your Grace?" the servant asked without stopping her current task.

"No, thank you," the waterbender replied. "But I would like to speak with Azula in private."

The servants hesitated and gave Azula a quiet glance, asking for permission since the princess clearly outranked the younger girl who was not royalty by blood. Sighing heavily, Azula waved the servants away.

"Let me guess." Azula rose from her dressing table, yanked the covers on her bed back, and slipped into the silky sea of crimson with queenly poise. "You want to know why Zuzu isn't back yet."

Anticipating a long unpleasant talk with the princess, Katara sat down on the bed next to her.

"What happened?" she asked even though she was deathly afraid of the answer.

The princess looked like she might giggle and Katara's heart took another violent plunge into the soles of her shoes.

* * *

Katara had never tried to run faster. Her heart was pounding in her ears and her breathing was erratic and loud. It was all she could hear, her own breathing and the violent pound of her heartbeat against her eardrums. She couldn't think and she didn't even care if Azula tattled on her for leaving the palace to find Zuko. It didn't matter. None of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was finding Zuko.

He was on the ship he'd received after the Agni Kai since he was already banished and not permitted to return to the palace. Soon, he wouldn't be permitted to return to the Fire Nation.

Katara blazed through the port in search of Zuko's ship and had made up her mind to bloodbend anyone who dared to stop her or get in her way.

Hidden in a shawl she'd taken from Azula's oversized closet, Katara snuck into the ship she knew to be Zuko's and descended into its belly where she found Iroh and some other men who appeared to be crew members scattered throughout the bridge. There was a Pai Sho board in the center of the space but no one was playing. There was just a heavy silence hanging over all of them. It was dense and thicker than smoke.

"Where is he?" she demanded, her tone urgent.

"In his quarters. He isn't letting anyone in," Iroh replied, his tone flat and his eyes weary. He looked exhausted.

"Take me to him," she demanded again, realizing she had been around Fire Nation Royalty for too long as the stern words flowed off her tongue.

Understanding as always, Iroh slowly rose to his feet and lead her down into another wing of the black, metal beast they dared call a ship. At the end of yet another metal corridor was a door larger than the others they'd passed.

Katara looked up at Iroh who nodded his head towards the door.

Fearlessly, the waterbender approached the door. She placed her hand on the cool, black steel as if she could somehow touch him through it.

"Zuko?" she called, her voice shaking.

Silence was the only reply and she was overwhelmed with déjà vu. Usually, she was the one who shut him out, leaving him outside her door, demanding to come in despite her protests. The tables had suddenly turned and she wasn't sure if they could adjust.

"Zuko, it's Katara…" She pressed her cheek against the bitter metal, closed her eyes, and listened.

Silence.

"Let me in, Zuko… Please?" She was on the verge of tears now and Iroh had placed a hand on her shoulder, offering silent comfort and support.

" _Go away."_

"Zuko…" Katara pleaded.

" _No!"_

Steeling herself and preparing for the worst, she went in anyway, the metal hinges of the door screaming at her as she did so.

"Leave!" He shot fire at her the moment she entered but she didn't flinch. It was all show. She knew there was never any risk of her being burned because he never had any intention of burning her. She knew him well enough to know that.

The flames dispersed, briefly licking the floor around her feet and the ends of her hair before breathing their last hissy breaths near her ears. She shut the door behind her before going further into the glowing room of red clad with Fire Nation emblems and meditation candles.

Healers had already been here. She could tell by the ointments and bandages scattered throughout the room but she doubted they'd been able to put a hand on him. There was a water bowel near his bed too so she grabbed it, taking it with her as she moved to sit on his bed. She sat on the edge and gently placed the bowel beside her.

"Zuko…" Her hand reached for him but hesitated before it could make contact with his shoulder. Something told her that this wasn't her Zuko. There was something different about him and she hadn't even looked him in the eyes yet.

His back was stubbornly facing her and all she could think to do was touch it even though she'd already decided against doing so. But she had to do something. She wanted to touch him. She felt like she needed to, so she tried to do just that only to have him jerk away from her.

It shot a pain through her heart, like Azula was practicing her lightning in her chest. He'd never jerked away from her before but she was persistent, so she tried again.

The Fire Prince jerked away again.

"Stop it!" Now she was losing her temper too. "Roll over so I can check your burn! I know he burned you!" She saw no point in avoiding it. They both knew why she was here. He knew that she knew what had happened.

Begrudgingly, he did as she asked.

"Thank you," she breathed.

When she finally saw his face, it was worse than she anticipated and she was anticipating a lot. The entire left side of his face was a lacework of red and pink, blisters and boils… How had he not lost his eye!?

She couldn't contain her reaction. Her hands shot to her mouth, and her eyes flooded with tears that quickly spilled down her cheeks.

"Zuko… I'm so sorry…"

He didn't look at her. He just glared at the ceiling, acting as if she hadn't uttered a word to him.

When he continued to ignore her, she pulled some water out of the bowel and coated her hands in it. She'd practiced healing a time or two with Hama but they hadn't dwelled on it. Healing wasn't what Ozai wanted from her so they had skipped over it pretty quick. No, she didn't know a lot about healing and hadn't had much practice but she still wanted to try healing Zuko.

"I'm going to touch you now," she informed to keep him from snapping at the sensation of touch. Zuko was nothing if not on edge and vulnerable and honestly, she didn't know how he would react to her touching his burn, the source of his misery.

Tentatively, she placed a hand on his face. He closed his eyes but didn't pull away.

Her hand began to glow as she tried to use a mixture of waterbending and bloodbending to mend damaged tissue and expunge the ailment sleeping on and under his skin. The water swirled around over his eye, the top of his head, and finally over his mangled ear.

It would scar. There would be no way to prevent it. Even if she'd worked on him sooner, it still would have left a nasty mark. All she could do now was try to ease his pain and speed up the healing process.

He hand flattened against the throbbing, boiling hot skin, causing Zuko to hiss and wince but again, he didn't pull away. He held his grimace for a while until Katara felt the blisters and boils receding. Once she was sure she'd done all she could, she pulled her hand away. Instead of looking several hours old, the burn now looked a few days old but it was still oozing so she grabbed a rag and a few bandages and tried to blot away the excess.

"Is that…? Did it help?" she stuttered as she patted the burn as gently as possible.

"Yeah."

Even after attempting to reverse the damage, the burn went from his eye all the way to his ear and even raced onto his head a bit. His eye and his ear would never be the same. _He_ would never be the same. She could already sense how different he was and she hated it. More than anything, she hated Ozai for doing this to him.

She gave his face one final caress before putting fresh bandages over the left side of his face and securing it around it head. Once she was done, she put everything back where she found it.

Without asking permission, she lied down on his bed and squeezed his hand. For a long time, he didn't look at her or even respond to her touch but eventually, the eye that wasn't covered in bandages opened to regard her and his hand turned upward so it could meld to hers.

* * *

The next morning, breakfast was eaten in silence. The cook brought the meal to the door but only Katara and Iroh were allowed to enter Zuko's quarters so it was up to them to bring it to the brooding prince.

There was plenty of food for both of them and maybe even Iroh, but no one felt much like eating. They toyed with the meal for a while, poking it with chopsticks as if to see if it would lunge to life but doing little else with it.

After it became clear that there wouldn't be much eating, Katara had asked for Zuko to let her treat him again. He'd coarsely refused the first five times but on the sixth, he'd relented.

The day passed quickly despite the healing sessions, the abundant silence, and the uneaten meals. After she'd finished putting fresh bandages on his wound for the third time, Zuko threw on a cowl to hide his face and sat down on the floor in front of his meditation mantle where he stayed until it was time for dinner. This time Iroh came to the door with the meal and Zuko had silently motioned for Katara to let him in.

The old general entered stoically, saw the uneaten food from breakfast and lunch scattered throughout the room and simply put it away for later.

"The Fire Lord is looking for you," Iroh said matter-of-factly as he put his hands in his oversized sleeves.

Katara's eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched when she realized Iroh was talking to her.

"I don't care," she snapped. She didn't care if she ever saw him again. She hated him more than she ever had now that he'd done this to Zuko. She didn't think it was possible for her to hate him more than she already did; she didn't think it was possible for her to hate anyone more than she'd hated Azulon but he'd proved her wrong.

Zuko was still sitting in the corner of his room in front of his meditation mantle, hood pulled over his face. He didn't say anything or even look back at them but Katara saw his shoulders tense as he shifted on the floor.

"Tell him I'm not here or something," she added.

Iroh sighed. "I'm sure he is very aware of where you are but I'll see if I can buy you some more time."

With that, the general grabbed the trays of uneaten food and left the room, leaving them alone.

"I'm starting my search for the Avatar in the morning. The ship will leave port this evening," Zuko said. It was the most he'd spoken since she'd come to his room the day before.

"Already?" she squeaked.

"I'm banished, Katara. I'm probably not even supposed to be at this port now."

"Take me with you," she begged.

"What?" he snorted, looking over at her as if she were crazy.

"Take me with you," she repeated as she fell to her knees beside him. "I'll go crazy if I stay here alone…"

"I can't. He'll know I took you with me and then, I'll be in even more trouble if that's possible. He'd just end up tracking you down and hauling you back. You're more valuable to him than I am…" The pain in his voice was abundant, the wound still too new and too fresh to be veiled.

Zuko rose to his feet and strolled around her.

"Zuko, please…!" Katara rushed after him and gripped the back of his dark shirt in her hands.

"I can't!" He spun around, yanking his robe from her trembling hands. "I would if I could but I can't… But I'll… I'll come back for you. Okay? After I regain my honor."

"After you find the Avatar." Katara scoffed. "I could be dead and buried by then. Who knows when and if you'll find him. You know Ozai gave you that specific task because it's considered impossible. Telling you to capture the Avatar was a polite way to banish you for life."

Zuko sighed and looked away as a heavy silence consumed them and settled between them, creating a rift she felt she could never bridge.

Feeling like she was unraveling at the seams, she bit the inside of her bottom lip to keep from crying. She didn't want to cry anymore.

He took a few steps forward and placed his warm hands on her shoulders. "I'll come back for you."

Tears prickled behind her eyes and she hid her face in his chest before they could fall from her eyes.

She felt him tense at first and grab her shoulders as if to push her away but he ended up holding her back, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. That familiar warmth enveloped her and his sweet, spicy sent filled her senses and she knew she'd never be able to measure just how much she'd miss every little thing about him, even the annoying things she couldn't stand.

"You better go before the Imperial Firebenders come for you," he said, his deepening voice vibrating against her cheek.

She wanted to say no. She wanted to continue begging for him to take her with him. She wanted him to take her away from Ozai and bloodbending and the Fire Nation. The irony of it was almost too much to bear. She would give anything to leave and he'd give anything to stay, and they could do neither of those things together. She couldn't leave anymore than he could stay.

Sniffling, she pulled away. Zuko then released her shoulders and wandered back to his meditation candles, ignoring her in a way that he never had before.

Reluctantly and after giving the banished prince one final glance, she left his quarters and shut the door behind her. In a daze, she wandered the levels of the ship until she reached the deck where Iroh was waiting for her. He gave her a sad yet genuine smile and motioned for her to come to his side.

On the port nearby was a cluster of several Imperial Firebenders and she knew they were waiting on her, ready to escort her back to the palace.

She glared at them.

Iroh took her to the edge of the ship to its long metal ramp and she hesitated.

The general patted her shoulder and Katara turned to hug him.

"I would take you with us if I could," he said softly, as if reading her thoughts.

Katara nodded, unable to speak.

"Goodbye, Tara. I look forward to the day we meet again." He backed away and bowed to her and she graciously returned the gesture.

To spite the guards, she walked as slowly as she could down the ramp and once she set foot on the port, she wrapped her cloak around her shoulders and folded her arms over her chest.

"Your Grace, Fire Lord Ozai has demanded you return to the palace," one of the guards declared.

"I'd like to see Prince Zuko leave," she replied politely yet coldly.

"He has commanded we bring you back at once."

"And I am telling you that I'd like to watch the ship depart." Her eyes narrowed and she'd made up her mind to bloodbend them if they tried to uproot her from the port before she was ready.

The guards bowed to her will and she turned her backs to them so she could watch the ramp be pulled up and back into the ship. The crew shuffled around for a while as clouds of black began bursting from the ship's smoke-stacks. It groaned to life like a moose-lion stretching its legs and began drifting off into the orange sea that was now reflecting the brilliant orange of sunset that was now hanging in the sky. The sun met the water in the distance, giving the Fire Nation Capital one last flash of dying light before completely submerging itself into the ocean. Zuko's ship was skidding across that same water, leaving sparkling ripples and swells of smoke in its wake. It would have been a beautiful scene were she not so sad and so cold and empty.

She could feel the guards getting anxious and twitchy behind her (anticipating Ozai's wrath no doubt) but she didn't budge until the ship was almost out of sight. When the sun was all but gone and the chill that accompanied Fire Nation nights began creeping in, she turned her back to the speck on the water that once looked like Zuko's ship and made her way back into the capital with the guards on her heels.

* * *

By the time they had reached the palace, Katara's grief and sorrow had slowly yet surely turned into anger and rage. She was suddenly furious that this had happened and was even angrier with Ozai. He was the source of her and Zuko's misery. He was the cause of their pain and she hated him for it. He had taken her identity away, he'd taken Ursa away, he'd taken her eyes away, he'd defiled her bending, and now, he'd taken Zuko away too. He'd slaughtered everything that had brought her flickers of joy and happiness and left her with nothing to sustain herself. Now all she had was Ozai, Azula, Hama, and bloodbending. He left only the scraps, only the bitter bones, nothing that could ever begin to make her happy.

Enraged, Katara blazed through the palace looking for Ozai. There was no fear or apprehension, just anger.

After losing the guards, the waterbender checked the throne room, Ozai's bedroom, and even a few sitting rooms before she finally found him. The Fire Lord was in his study behind his desk, surrounded by scrolls without a care in the world, as if he hadn't just burned and disowned his only son the day before. There was no regret on his face. If anything, there was satisfaction and that only angered her further.

There was warmth on her cheeks and she realized her eyes were tearing as a result of everything swelling up insider her. She was beyond her boiling point and it was overflowing out of her eyes, her burning tears carving into the contours of her face.

"How?" Her voice cracked and she sounded more wounded than angry.

Ozai sighed calmly, released the scroll he was holding, and gazed up at her, his expression blank and dark.

"How could you…?"

His eyes narrowed but he continued to hold his tongue.

The ink well on his rich, mahogany desk began to shiver, as did the teacup and kettle, the water sleeping inside them channeling her fury.

"How could you do that?" she roared. "How could you do that to your own son?"

The Fire Lord scoffed. "I wouldn't expect you to understand. Besides, why do you care? If you hate everything here as much as you claim, you should be proud that there is one less firebender among us."

Her expression softened at his accusation and the water settled. How could he say such a thing? How could he suggest that she didn't care? He knew she cared about Zuko, truly. Yes, he might be the Fire Lord's son and he might be a firebender but he'd never given her any other reason to hate him. He'd cared for her. He'd taken care of her. He shielded her from Ozai's wrath and distain because he knew personally how it felt to be on the receiving end of it. Zuko was a spoiled prince with a bad attitude and sometimes he made her so mad she could scream but at the end of the day he was good to her. He'd showed her compassion and kindness when there was none.

Ozai rose to his feet and strolled around his desk to address her fully. "But then again, we both know that isn't true. I'd have to be blind not to notice how you follow him around like a lovesick polar bear-dog. I know how he babied you. I know how he visited your room to dry the tears you shed. I know how he coddled you when bloodbending proved too difficult for you and your fragile spirit just like I know that you were on his ship with him today helping him lick his wounds. You enable each others' weaknesses because you are both one in the same: weak."

Katara paled, feeling painfully translucent and disarmed.

"If you've come here looking for my regret, I have none. Zuko's banishment is the best thing that could've happened to either of you. Maybe now you can finally gain a thicker skin and finally muster to courage to master bloodbending. Maybe now you can finally be something other than a complete waste of time." The Fire Lord turned his back on her and began sauntering back to the giant chair behind his desk.

Something inside of her almost audibly snapped. The vial of ink and the ivory teakettle shattered upon the desk, the fluid gushing forth and exploding upon the desk with her temper. She called the blackened water into her hand, forming a thin whip of ink, and she had every intention of striking him across the back of the head with it.

In a blind fury she hauled the whip far behind her head and prepared to strike but the Fire Lord proved faster. Seeing the ink bent from the desk, he whirled around so fast she didn't have time to blink. He seized the wrist attached to her ink whip in one hand and grabbed her by the throat with the other.

"Careful, _peasant_. I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away just as easily. If you are so appalled by what I could do to my own son, just imagine what I'd be willing to do to you."

It was a dark and painfully true statement, one that made her blood run stale. Deathly still, she was suddenly out of things to say. He was right. He was a monster but he was right. He probably wouldn't think twice about shooting her full of lightning or snapping her neck if she turned out to be more trouble than she was worth.

Swallowing hard, Katara surrendered her water whip and allowed the dark fluid to melt from her hands and crash to the floor. With her free hand she gripped his thick wrist in a vain attempt to pry his hand away. He wasn't blocking her airway nor was he necessarily _trying_ to hurt her. More than anything, this was a lesson, a warning. The pain wasn't unbearable but it was still _very_ pleasant. The pain didn't come from being strangled; the only discomfort was the iron grip he had on her throat, his much too warm fingers digging into each side of her neck. She knew she'd have bruises.

Ozai continued to watch her emotionlessly for a long time and eventually, let go of her wrist and her neck and strolled back to his desk as if he'd never laid a hand on her at all.

The waterbender stood there frozen in place for a long moment, sniffling and rubbing her damaged throat.

"Go to bed, Katara," he said, his tone gentle yet stern, speaking to her as if he were her father. He suddenly seemed tired and exasperated.

She stood there a moment longer, holding her head down and asking herself what she was going to do without Zuko. The reality of the last forty-eight hours was crashing down on her and threatening to crush her to death. _This_ was all she had left. Cruel moments like these would fill her life to the brim now that both Zuko and Iroh were gone.

A part of her wanted to beg for leniency. She wanted to beg him to change his mind so she could have Zuko and some sliver of happiness and normalcy back but Ozai didn't take things back. He didn't regret anything.

Accepting that she had lost this particular battle, Katara did as he commanded…just like she always did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> Not a lot of Zuko POV in this chapter but I will offer up more in the next one! I promise! And don't worry. Zuko and Katara won't be separated for too long! This is just the beginning. Trust me! 
> 
> Next time we will begin just before the series starts!
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	5. Chapter 5

Three years. Three _long,_ miserable years of searching and Zuko had still found no sign of the Avatar. He'd searched three of the four Air Temples and several areas of the Earth Kingdom in between to no avail. Now they were drifting out to sea towards the last, the Southern Air Temple. After that, Zuko had no inkling of where to go to continue his search. Back to the Earth Kingdom he supposed, such was his fate but with each day he grew more impatient and his anger swelled. His mood grew blacker and blacker and his temper flared more often, something he no longer had any control over.

It had been three years but it felt like his life, his _real_ life had frozen in place, unmoving but ever changing, gravitating in the wrong direction. To him, it felt like his life had been frozen in place but the changing of the seasons and the changes that accompanied age suggested otherwise. His mind insisted it was all delusion and that everything of his life before his banishment was just as he left it, unchanging, only to melt and start again when he returned. The subtle changes he witnessed now would surely dissolve when he restored his honor, but time taunted and mocked him, as did the Avatar with his absence.

Iroh often sought to lift his spirits with trips to markets and events such as music night. It never worked but it never stopped him from trying.

It was once again Uncle's prized music night aboard the ship but it was too cold on the ship's deck, which was where the event usually took place. They were too close to the frozen tundra known as the South Pole, leaving them to go below deck for socializing and festivities. However, there wasn't much to these festivities. They had a simple fire pit, a few instruments scattered around (many of which were out of tune or missing strings), and old tongues full of anecdotes, ghosts stories, songs, and tales of glory.

Zuko didn't gather around the fire pit where the other crewmen and Uncle sat. Instead he stood in the shadows of the stairwell, his back against a cool, metal wall and his arms folded over his chest. He listened to the songs and the stories but didn't participate or speak.

"Have you heard what they were saying about the girl the Fire Lord took in as his own?" the balding man with a long, white beard inquired, his hands still resting on the oversized drum in his lap.

Zuko's ears perked.

Lieutenant Jee – one of the senior officers aboard his ship – shook his head. "No."

"Turns out she's somethin'…unnatural. They're sayin' the girl can take people's bendin' away."

The statement effectively sucked the air from the room but this wasn't news to Zuko. He knew that was what Ozai had planned for her from the beginning.

It was a beautiful lie, really. Impressive too. Fire Lord Ozai had created this elaborate deception and the best (or worst depending on how one looked at it) part was that everyone bought it. They believed it and Zuko was sure it had gotten him the results he'd hoped for. He'd essentially made a new form of Avatar. Katara or _Tara_ was said to be the world's new link to the spirit world. Ozai and the Fire Sages had told everyone that Tara's gifts and the ability to take one's bending came from the spirits. It sounded less threatening that way and more people would be more inclined to accept it.

Zuko knew better. She wasn't ethnically ambiguous. She wasn't a non-bender and her name wasn't Tara. A spirit did change her eye color but spirits didn't give her the ability to take away someone's bending. Honestly, Zuko didn't know how she had managed to accomplish such a feat. That was something she'd learned to do after his banishment. When he left, she was just starting to bloodbend other human beings.

"That's impossible. She can't really do that, can she?" Lieutenant Jee looked genuinely unsettled.

Iroh and Zuko exchanged silent, knowing glances.

"A lot of people swear that it's true," the older crewman replied. "Rumors are speadin' like wildfire, sayin' she's some kind of new Avatar since the real one has been gone so long. Some say she's supposed to help bring balance or somethin'. Only Agni knows what she really is."

"I'll tell you what she is," one of his gruffer recruits chimed in. "She's a demon! Whatever spirit gave her those powers had to be some incarnate of chaos!"

"They say she puts her hands on both sides of your head, presses her thumbs into your temples, closes her eyes, and then everything inside you turns into jelly. When you can finally regain the strength to try to bend, nothing happens." Yet another man held his arms out and wriggled his fingers for added effect. Zuko rolled his eyes.

Everywhere they went, he heard rumors about Tara in one form of another, and people either loved or hated her. They either thought she was a blessing or a curse in this period without the Avatar. She was admired and feared, which was probably exactly what his father wanted.

Ozai sent her anywhere and everywhere to do his bidding and to take the bending of any and all who opposed him or might be a threat to him. From what Zuko understood, she frequented prisons where she could confront prisoners of war and other captives. However, his father was smart and she didn't just take bending away from earthbenders or waterbenders. He also used her to punish his own men for insubordination, treason, or for displeasing him. The Fire Nation Colonies and occupied cities also got visits from her. She would heal their sick and take the bending of thugs harming the area.

Zuko had no way of knowing for sure, but he was pretty sure those particular visits acts of defiance, Katara's way of spiting Ozai and helping the weak, downtrodden, and oppressed. He'd even heard some women at an Earth Kingdom port raving of how she'd healed their children. It sounded like she tried to sprinkle kindness wherever she went, whenever she got the chance. Granted, he hadn't seen her in years, but if Katara was the kind yet untamable girl he remembered, that was definitely the case.

"They say the Fire Lord found her in Forgetful Valley. That place is crawling with spirits. It's no wonder that the girl is unusual. My grandfather used to say that the spirits can get inside you, scramble up your mind, and turn you into a monster," the older stated, stroking his white beard as he did so, his bald head shining in the firelight.

"If ye ask me, I say that's exactly what she is. They can sugarcoat it and call it a blessing and that she is gonna help restore balance all they want but I say there's something wrong with her. Have you seen her eyes?! And taking someone's bending away isn't right. She's a monster!" the gaunt man with almost no teeth and a thin, brown goatee spat.

"Enough," Zuko growled, emerging from the shadows, and approaching the fire pit.

"If you ask me, the world would be better off without her! They call her the divine one but I say she's—"

"I said _enough_!" The banished prince grabbed him by the collar and slammed him into the nearest wall. "You will not breathe another unkind word of her on my ship!"

"My apologies, Prince Zuko," the man rasped, holding his head down in submission. "I forgot how you liked her…"

It wasn't a matter of _liking_ her. Yes, he cared for her but he hardly knew her now. What angered him was that they didn't know what they were talking about. Katara was a victim too. This wasn't her will or the spirits' will. It was Ozai's. It was just disguised as something else. Katara wasn't what she seemed but not in the way everyone thought.

"Zuko…" Uncle Iroh had placed a hand on his shoulder at some point, trying to calm him. "Put the man down. He meant no harm."

Zuko shook with anger a moment longer, glaring into the crewman's wide-set, almond eyes. He almost wanted to go on deck and throw him overboard. He didn't necessarily need him. He wasn't entirely aware of what he did on his ship but he knew he could be replaced.

However, before he could follow through with throwing him overboard into the icy sea, the anger melted away. Unsure of where such rage came from and what he really wanted, he released him. He brushed off Uncle's hand off his shoulder, blazed up the steps, and journeyed back to his room.

Once he was safely in the privacy of his quarters, he wandered to his desk, placed his hands on its surface, and held his head down. He was still breathing hard, still trembling with the remains of anger rushing through his veins.

After a moment of deep, calming breaths, he began smelling smoke. His hands were burning the mahogany. If he burned his way into the desk's drawers, he'd find a neat stack of letters from Katara, letters that had been sent over the past three years since his banishment. They were innocent letters sent by messenger hawk. He'd read every single one, sometimes more than once but never wrote back. Being banished had given him new perspective, making lots of things that once mattered seem pointless and regretfully, writing letters was one of those things.

She didn't write him anymore. He could only assume it was because she'd mastered bloodbending and was now the tool Ozai always wanted her to be. She probably had no time for trivial things such as letter writing since she was busy traveling and taking people's bending away.

He pushed the thoughts aside. He only permitted himself to think about such things for so long before once again devoting his energy to finding the Avatar. He'd learned that thinking about the past or things outside his task only distracted him and soured him further. His soul was already black and if he could keep it from getting blacker by avoiding certain triggers then he would.

He rummaged through his clothes until he found his cloak, hurled it around his armored shoulders and journeyed to the ship's deck; arctic temperatures be damned.

The cold air that greeted him was about as pleasant as a slap to the face and his body shuddered involuntarily. The climate was unfriendly and it caused his skin to sting and prickle. If he stayed in it long enough, it would even begin to burn but it wasn't a normal burn. If anyone knew about burns, it was Zuko and the cold burned but not like fire.

It was below freezing. Zuko really had no business being out here, especially if he valued his fingers but he could handle the cold better than most because of his firebending. He still didn't care for it though. This was a foreign climate to him and he missed warmth, genuine warmth that spilled from the sun. He now knew why Katara had always been so miserable in the heat and why she'd always seek the shade or argue with servants to stay inside the palace where it wasn't so hot.

He groaned when he realized he was thinking about the past again, and it seemed that the closer they drew to the South Pole, the more he found himself thinking of Katara. This world was cold and bitter and he assumed Katara probably mirrored this desolate wasteland by now. She would be three years older, which meant she'd had three more years of bloodbending training and three more years with Ozai and Azula.

He often wondered what the waterbender was like now. He wondered if she still gave the servants and Ozai fits, if she still exasperated Lo and Li with her strong will and defiance. Did she still disobey and disappear into the market when she got the chance? Did bloodbending still upset her? He knew the rumors and the gossip but somehow he knew none of it did her justice. He had no doubts that she had learned to meet Ozai's demands and expectations but he knew there was much more to it than that. She'd struggled with bloodbending before. He didn't want to know how hard learning to take one's bending away had to be or how numb and desensitized she had to become to actually follow through with the act itself.

The thought of her bitter, angry, subordinate, and miserable made him ache but only for a brief moment. Again, he pushed the pesky memories away, and marched up to his telescope. He'd pressed his eye to its lens so often he just knew he'd freeze to it eventually but this was how he occupied his time. The Avatar wouldn't find itself so even when they weren't searching on foot, Zuko was gazing through his telescope for any changes in the surroundings or any signs that could lead him to the airbender. It wasn't like he had anything better to do and sleep didn't always come easy and being in that quiet room allowed his mind to go to dark, painful places.

" _Zuko."_

"Not now, Uncle," Zuko snapped without taking his eye away from the telescope lens. He didn't have to look to know who was behind him and he didn't really want to discuss Katara, his latest outburst, or anything else for that matter.

"It's late. You should rest," Iroh replied anyway.

"I don't need to rest. I need to find the Avatar." The words were old and worn, uttered a thousand times before but he would repeat them no matter how stale they were on his tongue because it was true.

Uncle sighed and asked a nearby guard to bring him a seat and some of his favorite games, knowing that they would likely be spending yet another long, sleepless night on the deck of the ship.

* * *

One foot after another, Katara climbed the dark, crimson steps of the Capital Temple, following the dull torchlight and tawny brick walls that lined the way to her destination. The temple echoed with the dull hum of murmurs and quiet conversations between Fire Sages, ringing in perfect rhythm with her guard's footsteps thrumming behind her.

She'd made this journey one thousand times before. She could walk it blindfolded and she knew every single crack along the floors and the walls. She knew how many dragon bones were in the catacombs and how many torches were in each corridor. She knew basically all there was to know about the Capital Temple.

Two Fire Sages and four guards (not counting her Imperial Firebenders) waited by the door at the end of the seemingly endless hallway.

"Good evening, Tara," the High Sage greeted and bowed to her. "Hama is waiting inside."

Katara nodded and the guards opened the door for her cautiously as if a feral animal were inside. Fearlessly, she entered the poorly lit room and once she was inside, they shut the door behind her and locked the door and set the deadbolt. Shortly after the bloodbending of human beings began, the Fire Sages and guards stopped coming in to monitor their lessons. They clearly had no stomach for bloodbending so their main focus was making sure they didn't try to escape.

Like always, Hama was inside. She crumpled on the floor with her chains coiling around her like silver snakes.

"Hello, Katara," she breathed, a small smile blooming across her wrinkled lips.

Katara returned the sentiment halfheartedly and took a seat on the dusty floor across from her, folding her legs beneath her as if she were about to meditate.

They sat in silence for a long time while Katara stared out the barred window far behind Hama on the other side of the room, watching the cruel light of day pour into the room past the bars like liquid gold. The light didn't reach them. The sunbeam fell just short of Hama's dark red rags.

When she cast her gaze back to her fellow bloodbender, she looked deep in thought. She also looked elderly. Her hair was now completely gray now and her face was marred by abundant wrinkles. She was thin and appeared frail as she slouched in front of her. After a long moment of contemplation, Hama looked up at her and shrugged.

"I have nothing else to teach you. You've advanced far beyond my level of mastery and taken our element to places I never would have dreamed possible."

Katara looked at her expectantly but said nothing in return. She simply folded her hands in her red lap and listened intently.

"You've met Ozai's expectations. You can bloodbend at will and you can take one's bending away, as was the Fire Lord's wish." Hama's eyes rolled. "Has anyone's bending returned?"

Katara's head fell and she fought a grimace. "No."

When this madness began, she could only take away someone's bending for a short period of time. After that it was a series of trial and error experiments. They would bring prisoners in by the droves for her and Hama to practice on. For a long time they had argued that the feat was impossible but Ozai persisted. Thus, day after day, full moon after full moon, they would dissect the human body from the inside out, trying to learn every vein, artery, and ventricle, following every chi pathway inside them. Eventually, they'd learned the only way to disconnect one from the elements permanently was to disrupt multiple chi pathways in the body and the only way to do that was by physically touching an individual, essentially reaching into them with bloodbending and mangling them up inside so energy and chi could no longer flow properly.

"Then I suppose all our hard work has finally paid off," Hama said flatly. "Congratulations, Katara."

Hama acted like she'd mastered something wonderful but there was nothing wonderful about the kinds of things Katara had learned to do, things Hama had helped her learn to do. She'd always known all of this would reach some horrible end but she never would have guessed that Ozai would want bloodbending in order to take other's bending away. She thought he wanted her to be a killing machine or some kind of torture device. She'd been wrong. It was about taking bending away. It had always been about taking bending away and Katara would hardly call mastering that kind of savagery a victory. Sure, Ozai was happy she'd managed to do so by the ripe age of fourteen but what did she care of his happiness? She was destroying lives. She was a monster. People were afraid of her.

"You don't seem pleased," the old waterbender mused.

"Why would I be pleased? Every ability I master is just another ability Ozai will use to win this war and torture the innocent," Katara snapped.

"We've been over this a thousand times, Katara. The means justify the ends. Ozai may have the reins for now but one day you will be able to take them back."

 _He will never let me go,_ she thought.

Katara knew too much. She'd done too much. She was a testament to his corruption and the truth could never come out. No one could ever know that Ozai and the Fire Sages had been lying about her for years and that she was merely a waterbender who'd mastered bloodbending. No one could ever know that she _wasn't_ the spirit's way of picking up the slack in the Avatar's absence. No one could know that she wasn't Ozai's alleged gift from the Spirit World, the gift that suggested that the spirits favored the Fire Nation, their war, and their conquests. Katara or _Tara_ had come to represent so much for Ozai and the Fire Nation.

"You must carry on my work on your own now," Hama finally said when she realized Katara was going to say no more on the matter.

Katara's brow furrowed. "You're leaving?"

"No. I'm escaping. This time I won't make the same mistake I did seven years ago."

The younger waterbender had no words. All she could think was that she wished she could go with her but it was overwhelming to think about and it seemed impossible. She was under Ozai's thumb and some of the last words Zuko said to her were that if she left, Ozai would track her down and haul her back. Now that she'd rooted herself here, she had to find a way to uproot herself. It seemed impossible. If she ever showed disloyalty, Ozai would merely hunt her down then proceed to either imprison her for life or kill her before the truth could come out. None of her options were favorable despite the immense strength she'd gained through bloodbending and she and Hama both knew Hama stood a better chance of escaping if she went alone.

"This isn't a goodbye, Katara. I'm sure we will cross paths again." Hama was smiling again.

"We will?" Katara asked cynically.

"Yes. You plan on escaping one day too, don't you?"

Katara eyed the room carefully before answering. "Yes."

"And I want to help and one way for me to do that is to go first and test the waters." Hama seized her hands. "I'm not going to abandon you, Katara. We'll get through this together."

She appreciated the sentiment but she didn't really want anything else from Hama. The dark gift of bloodbending was enough.

"I appreciate that, but only Tui and La know when I'll be able to escape. It won't be easy for me. I can't go anywhere without someone guarding me. If it isn't Ozai, it's Azula or some general or admiral."

"You'll know when the time is right," replied Hama matter-of-factly.

Katara nodded. Somehow she knew it was true. After all, Hama had escaped once and was planning on doing so again. The instinct was there and surely there would be signs or an intuition to guide her back to freedom, back home, back to the South Pole where she belonged. Despite everything, she still held onto that hope by a thin, fraying thread.

Hama leaned forward and squeezed her hands again, her chains rattling as she did so. She let her hold her hands like that for a moment before she rose to her feet and prepared to leave the room, knowing it would be the last time she would be forced into it with Hama. It was bittersweet leaving her but everything with Hama had always been bittersweet. She had an affinity to her because she was from the Southern Water Tribe but at the same time she resented her because she taught her bloodbending. She was sad to lose her last tie to her homeland but she was relieved that she wouldn't have anymore bloodbending training or hear anymore of her ravings.

She walked to the exit and knocked on the metal door to inform the guards they were finished.

Hama rose to her feet as well and grinned again, looking like she might even burst into laughter. "Goodbye, Katara."

Katara gave her one more silent goodbye and wished her luck but for some reason, she knew she didn't need it.

* * *

It was never surprising when the Fire Lord demanded her presence. He was always using her for something, always pushing her and her bending to the limits, seeing what she was truly capable of, so it wasn't surprising when she was summoned to the war room.

Unhurriedly, she journeyed through the palace to the war room with her Imperial Firebenders following in her shadow. She entered the room and was greeted by the fiery dais and the fierce dragon carved into the golden wall behind it. The map of the four nations was still spread across the floor, anxiously awaiting the next meeting.

She could barely make out Ozai's silhouette behind the glaring flames, flames too bright to see through. It was a lot like trying to look through the sun.

As she drew closer, the flames died down, revealing the man hiding behind them. He was all formality, red, and gold like always, pristine and handsome in the worst ways, his beard perfectly trimmed and his topknot flawless and sleek without a strand of inky hair out of place.

Begrudgingly, she forced herself to her knees before him. It was something that she swore got harder every time she did it. Bloodbending got easier but bowing to him and his will never got easier. It was always like a knife twisting in her belly, like holding acid in her mouth.

"Leave us," Ozai barked when she reached them.

Katara's guards bowed and left her side for the first time all day. Once they were gone, the waterbender sighed and calmly prepared for Ozai's temper to seize her. No doubt he was displeased about something. She could tell by the size and color of the flames and the tone in his voice. Honestly, he could be mad at her for any number of things. Someone's bending could have returned or he could have found out about her healing the sick in the villages, the prisons, and even the capital itself.

The flames died down to a simmer, peeling away from him like a curtain. His presence was large, intimidating and smothering. She hated the mere sight of him although he had acted as her second father for almost seven years now. A lot had changed since Zuko's banishment, but her hatred of Ozai hadn't. It was still very present despite their truce and their lighter moments. He was never what she'd call kind but he was fair and there was some truth in her adoption. He almost treated her as one of his own. He treated her as well as he'd treated Zuko but that wasn't saying much. He certainly didn't love her but he didn't hate her either. She was just this… _thing_ that benefited him.

Katara would admit that she had thought of killing Ozai with the powers he'd given her. She'd stare at him and think about it until her eyes glazed over but every time she saw him bend, every time she thought of how he'd become a sick father to her, it would crumble away. There were a thousand reasons to kill him but a thousand and one not to. Something would always stop her from squeezing his veins closed or bending his body until either his neck or spine snapped. She would think of one kindness or another or she would think of what killing him would mean. What would Zuko think of her for killing his father? Then she would think of Zuko as the rightful heir to the throne. If she killed Ozai, what would that mean for the Fire Nation and the world? Azula would ascend as the successor by default but Zuko would no doubt return and fight for his crown, causing civil war to break out; war within a war. The thought made her shiver so she had never followed through with her plan to kill Ozai and escape.

The Fire Lord stared at her for a long moment before speaking. "Hama is gone."

She looked up at him, feigning surprise but feeling more relieved that he wasn't angry about the healing she'd been doing behind his back. She saw no harm in it as long as it didn't tarnish _Tara's_ image. If anything, it would help it but doing so without his permission could still ignite his wrath.

"Apparently, she bloodbent the entire temple into unconsciousness and slipped away during the night. Do you know anything of this?"

Katara shook her head. "She said nothing to me."

Ozai gave her a long hard look. She could see the wheels turning as he debated on whether or not he should believe her. In the end, he chose indifference.

"Good," he said, his eyes still narrowed and skeptical. "I also wanted to talk to you about this healing business."

Katara cringed, her fingers curling against the floor. "Is it so wrong for me to want to help people?"

"It is when I haven't given you permission to do so. Healing is a lot like _waterbending._ It is a known fact that waterbenders have healing abilities."

"My hands just glow. They can't tell what it is and I use bloodbending too."

His sharp, golden eyes narrowed again. "How do you use bloodbending?"

"I can close wounds. I even maintained a man's heartbeat by helping the blood move in and out of it. I can remove blood clots and some tumors. It looks like a miracle, something only a spirit could do." As she spoke, she realized just how much Ozai's corruption had rubbed off on her and was once again choked by shame. This was one of the many times she felt she now was more _Tara_ than Katara…

"You've studied this," he stated more than asked because they both knew it was true. She clung to healing for dear life because it was one of her last tethers to her humanity so she constantly tried to figure out ways to use this dark gift for good. She refused to be eclipsed by this completely.

"I want to help people. If I have to take bending away for you, then let me have this for me and my sanity. Please." She was begging and she tried to stop doing that because she _hated_ it, especially when she was begging to _him._

"I'll think about it." He rubbed his brow in mild irritation. "For now, I need your help interrogating some of my generals and commanders."

"I don't want to," she snapped immediately, without hesitation.

"I didn't ask if you wanted to."

"No." She sat up, uncoiling from her submissive position to glare at him.

"You aren't doing a very good job of convincing me to offer you the freedom to heal others. I'm not telling you again. Take your seat below the dais." His eyes darkened even though his tone was still somewhat airy.

"I hate being your truth seer," she groused but rose to her feet regardless, knowing that if she defied him again, there would be consequences. She walked to the base of the dais and sat on the cushion beneath it. Unlike his children, she wasn't allowed to climb the stairs to the dais or even sit at his left hand. He made sure she knew her place. She was still beneath them. She was still a waterbender in his eyes.

Ozai smirked, obviously feeling victorious. "There are worse things than being a truth seer. I'm sure _Katara_ remembers what it is like to be hungry and cold in a prison cell."

She tensed and ground her teeth in her mouth. "She remembers."

Behind her she heard him chuckle darkly before he motioned for the guards to bring in the men to be interrogated.

They were a string of middle-aged men in red armor with malice and fear shining behind their golden, steely eyes. Some of them were even trembling subtly and she hadn't even bloodbent anyone yet. Her presence alone intimidated them because almost everyone knew what she was capable of. They knew she could inflict utter agony upon anyone without lifting a finger if she set her mind to it, not to mention what she could to do their bending.

One by one, they knelt before the dais and Ozai barked questions at them regarding their loyalty and dedication while Katara gently squeezed their vein to detect any changes in heart rate or breathing. She was in their blood and sinew searching for lies but she made sure she wasn't bloodbending them to the point that they would notice.

She watched sweat gather on their foreheads and watched the pulse points quicken in their necks. Bloodbending had heightened her senses in the worst ways. She noticed the smallest of changes and could practically hear heartbeats in her ears from a mile away. She had become attuned to this aspect of her element just as she'd been attuned to sensing water wherever it existed.

Finally, the last man approached the dais but before Ozai could start the series of questions yet again, the Fire Sages burst into the room. They looked even more haggard than some of the men they were interrogating, which was saying something.

The Fire Lord was visibly upset with the disturbance and lack of respect. She knew because the fire began to crackle loudly behind her and she could feel the heat radiating off it against her back.

They rushed past the generals, lieutenants, and commanders, and knelt before the dais.

"What is the meaning of this? I gave clear orders that we were not to be disturbed," Ozai growled.

"Forgive us, Fire Lord Ozai, but this is a matter of upmost importance from the Fire Temple," the High Sage declared. He was breathless, his robes were askew, and streams of sweat were crawling down his brow and dampening the gray of his neat beard.

There was a long pause were Ozai said nothing and the only sounds reverberating throughout the room were the sounds of the sage's nervous breathing and the fierce crackle of Ozai's flames.

"Leave us. I shall speak with the Fire Sages alone."

The interrogated were visibly relieved, happy to get away from _Tara_ and her abilities. She was glad to see them go because that meant she wouldn't have to take anyone's bending today. She wouldn't have to bend them to their knees and watch them writhe in agony as she manipulated the blood inside them. She wouldn't have to hold their heads between her hands and root her thumbs into their temples and watch the pure terror flash across their face as they realized the next time they would rise to their feet, they would rise as a non-bender.

"You too, Tara."

Unable to stop herself, she recoiled and looked back at him in shock. The command surprised her. She thought surely he wouldn't care if she were present.

Now she was worried. If he didn't want her there, then this was probably about her or Hama. She wanted to defy him and stay anyway so she could learn if Hama had been captured again or if this was something to do with her but she did as he asked.

* * *

She couldn't shake the uneasiness. It wouldn't go away. She tried to go about her day as she normally would and forget about the Fire Sages and this news from the Fire Temple but she couldn't. She went to the library with Zuko's hand-me-down tutor (something she'd gotten since Azula got to go to the Royal Fire Nation Academy for Girls) and tried to study healing methods and ways to use bloodbending to heal others. She'd even gone to the training field to watch Azula practice her firebending with Lo and Li but it was always there, taunting her and scratching at the back of her skull.

Night had fallen. She and Azula now sat at the dining table ready for dinner but Ozai was late, something that only verified her suspicion that something really was wrong. The Fire Lord was usually very punctual so his tardiness always unsettled her. Normally, she'd be ecstatic at the prospect of having a dinner without him but this time she wanted him to walk through that door and tell her what was going on.

Katara looked back past the cluster of servants to the entryway for the umpteenth time. "Where is he?"

Azula rolled her eyes and eyed her much-too-sharp nails. "Father is a very busy man, sweet sister."

She _loathed_ when Azula called her that. It was always sharp and there were always spiteful implications that accompanied it. It was an insult and the princess oozed scorn each time she uttered it.

"Yes, but he's rarely late and even when he is, he usually sends word if he isn't going to eat with us."

"Oh, _Tara_ , don't be so dramatic."

"The High Sage was here, Azula," Katara countered, her tone stern.

"He is almost always here now, thanks to you." Azula groused, not bothering to hide her distain or annoyance. She often seemed appalled that she was still forced to breath the same air as the Water Tribe peasant but her hands were tied. She couldn't defy Ozai and burn her to cinders like she wanted but Katara doubted she could do that anyway. Azula and Katara had sparred before and Azula had yet to best Katara's bloodbending, something that irked Azula to no end but pleased Katara beyond measure. However, Lo and Li called an end to such training a while back. _"Princess Azula,"_ Lo had said. _"We must insist you stop,"_ Li added. _"Before you are harmed or anger the spirits,"_ they'd finished together.

The waterbender shook her head. "Something's different this time. He wanted to talk to Ozai alone."

"Then you're probably in trouble, sweet sister." Azula smirked.

Eventually, Fire Lord Ozai entered the room but didn't take his seat at the table. His shoulders were tense and tight. He looked pristine as always but something about his appearance looked haggard, unraveled. Perhaps it was in his eyes and the tight lines in his striking face and the obvious tension in his mouth.

The tension wasn't lost on Azula.

"Father?" she called. It never ceased to amaze Katara how tenderly Azula spoke to Ozai in contrast to how coarsely she spoke to everyone else, even Lo and Li.

Ozai looked through them yet at them. It took him a long moment but he regained his composure but there was a dark look on his face. It was a fierce cross between rage and fear, and Katara had never seen any trace of fear in his face before.

He took in a deep breath. "The Avatar has returned."

Katara's heart faltered. If that was true, then Zuko might finally stand a chance at finding him and coming home. A few years ago she would have been overjoyed at the prospect of having Zuko return but now she knew what it would have to mean. If she got Zuko back, then the world would be doomed to oblivion. Without the Avatar it would really and truly be at the mercy of Fire Lord Ozai. She was suddenly unsure of why that news had sent hope into her bones. Was it because Zuko had a chance of returning or because the world now stood a chance again Ozai? She didn't know what it meant but she recognized the sensation swimming around in her gut. It was her old friend hope. She it had thought had abandoned her. She almost didn't recognize it but she knew it now. She had hope again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> This was clearly a transition chapter of sorts, more necessary evils. Eh. I changed this chapter like ten thousand different times before I was somewhat happy with it. I tried putting in more Zuko but I kind of felt it was redundant because his timeline at this point isn't different from canon. He is just doing his thing on his ship, brooding and yelling about the Avatar and honor and whatnot. We will get a lot more of him later but for now Katara is the main focus.
> 
> Time to confront the elephant in the room. There are clearly some similarities between Katara and Amon (or Noatak...whoever). The lies about her connection to the spirits and the use of bloodbending to take someone's bending away definitely comes from Amon's character/backstory in Legend of Korra. I've just put that idea into a ATLA setting and seeing what it would've been like if Katara/Ozai/Hama had figured out the whole taking bending away thing first! However, instead of using it for an equality revolution, it's used to keep the other nations/threats in line and to help win the war etc. etc.. So basically this story is a what if Amon's ideas were Ozai's and psychic bloodbending was used by a captured Fire Nation Katara in ATLA. It's a really weird idea, I know but this WILL be following canon events (to a fault)!
> 
> Next time we'll get a visit from Admiral Zhao and Zuko and Katara might even get reunited as teens! Woo!
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

The Earth Kingdom had become a strange second home to her. Katara was hauled there often to deal out Ozai's… _justice_ and other various forms of torture to anyone he thought deserved it. Throughout the Earth Kingdom, men and women alike were cast to her feet and were offered their choice. Bending was forbidden in colonies and occupied cities so they could either be taken off to prison or she could take their bending. It was practically the equivalent of asking someone if they would rather be deaf or blind.

Privately, Katara always wished for them to choose their bending so she wouldn't have to take it from them but those with families often chose their freedom and Katara was forced to do what was demanded of her.

"I…I want to stay with my family," the man before her declared softly, reluctantly.

He was your typical earthbender, tall and muscular with tan skin, brown hair, and sparkling green eyes. His shoulder length hair was in a loose topknot and his hair was falling down around his face as he knelt before her and respectfully made his choice.

He'd been caught earthbending along with many others. Since the news of the Avatar's return reached Ozai's doorstep, he had been even more paranoid and even quicker to deploy her. The Fire Lord could practically taste the end of this war. He was so hungry for the Earth Kingdom's surrender she was sure he would make her eliminate earthbending all together if it meant victory and he was not about to let the Avatar show up after a hundred years and snatch it away from him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered as she took a few steps towards the man who had nobly chosen to lose his bending instead of his freedom and his family. Gently, she placed her hands on each side of his head, her thumbs rooting into his temples as she prepared to bloodbend her way into his chi pathways. Once she got the feel of him and could see into him, she simultaneously squeezed all the pathways that connected him to his element, all the pathways that allowed him to bend shut.

His pupils constricted and a choked grunt wriggled out of his throat. It lasted but a second. The bloodbending movements inside him were swift and sure like the bite from a two-headed ratviper and almost instantly left the victim limp and lifeless.

Exhaling, she released his head and he toppled over as if he were dead, as if the sheer impact of it had killed him. He wasn't dead but he it looked like as drool oozed from his mouth, down his jaw, and onto the dry earth beneath him. How cruel it must be to be so close to your element while at the same time being further from it than ever…

Katara looked ahead at the line of men the firebenders had captured and put in chains. There were four more earthbenders to deal with and the thought of doing this even one more time made her skin crawl. These men were just trying to live their lives and the same went for all the women and children who were looking on in horror. She knew some of the onlookers were earhtbenders too. They had just been lucky enough to not get caught…yet.

The next earthbender they pushed towards her was older. His hair was long and white but he was balding on top. She could tell he had once been a handsome man. His eyes were a fierce green and his features were angular but soft.

A woman was silently sobbing for him nearby. Undoubtedly, she was his wife and beside her was a boy who looked a good bit young than Katara and he was probably his son and an earthbender as well.

She couldn't stand the way they were looking at her. It was enough to almost make her burst into tears right there and tell them that it wasn't her fault! This was Ozai's doing, not hers. She could move men around like puppets if she willed it but she was the biggest puppet of them all.

They threw the older man to the ground before her and she wanted to help him up and tell him he didn't have to kneel, that she was just a girl from the tribes and to go back to his wife and family with his bending still intact. But she couldn't. She felt she was restrained by chains and shackles as tight and as long as Hama's had been only hers were invisible. Ozai's hold on her psychologically was much stronger than she ever dared to admit. Yes, she could move. Yes, she saw the light of day. Yes, she did have some liberties but she was a servant with no will of her own. Technically, She supposed she had her own will but it was a will that had no relevance. It was smothered and insignificant despite her power and freedoms, something that had been choked until it was black and withered.

The earthbender glared at the ground for a long time, weighing his options and deciding if he wanted to lose his bending or not but Katara couldn't stand it. She was going to make this choice for him.

"Imprison the rest," she commanded the nearest guard, feeling weak, light-headed, and nauseous. She utterly repulsed herself even though she had taken the bending of what felt like thousands in the short time since she'd become a master.

The man's green eyes shot up in surprise and the firebenders surrounding her exchanged curious glances.

The firebending captain took a few steps toward her. "Forgive me, Your Grace but we were commanded—"

"I said, _imprison the rest_ ," she retorted curtly and crushed the man's insides with bloodbending, not enough to kill or injure but enough to frighten him and cause him discomfort so he would not argue or force her to continue. She was _so_ tired of being forced into things…

The captain crashed to his knees as his muscles twitched and moved in contradicting directions. His fingers curled into fists as he resisted and writhed in obvious pain.

The crowd and even some of the firebenders gasped and automatically took several steps back and away from her and her ability to torture a man from the inside out with only a look.

She didn't blame them.

"Y-Yes! Yes, Your Grace…!" he managed to rasp and the moment he relented, she released him, causing him to collapse to his hands and knees and scramble for breath.

No more. She could do no more. She had been in small towns like this all day and she was tired of watching women and children's eyes fill with tears and terror. She could not stand it even though she should be immune to those looks by now. These poor people were horrified, traumatized, and probably broken after all they had done. This was a day none of them would forget and that was exactly what Ozai wanted. That was why she was here, to strike terror into the hearts of those who opposed the Fire Nation and resisted the war, to make his domination of the Earth Kingdom easier.

These people would hate her and would be more afraid of the Fire Nation than ever…because of her, the alleged gift from the Spirit World, Ozai's monster… The worst part was she couldn't blame them for hating her or being afraid of her. She would feel the same way and she would be lying if she said she didn't hate herself to a fault but that didn't keep her from wanting to make amends. She wanted to ask the villagers if there were any sick or injured who needed healing but felt the offer and compassion would be moot after they'd seen her at her worst, after they had seen what she was capable of and what her temper was tied to. Bloodbending the captain hadn't even been a conscious decision. It was a kneejerk reaction because regretfully, this was who she was now and the worst part was that she had come to terms with that.

Knowing she and all the firebenders who accompanied her had long outstayed their welcome and that greatest kindness she could do for these people was to leave, she demanded half of the guards take the remaining earthbenders to the prison rig and the other half to escort her back to the ship.

It was a long, miserable walk back to the harbor, full of regret and guilt but she had managed to make it back without bursting into tears or losing her stomach on the dusty pathways. However, her conscience tortured her constantly, reminding her of what she had done, what she'd become, and what she had been reduced to. Frequently, she had nightmares of taking others' bending away, of the mortified looks on their faces as she placed her hands on each side of their head, of watching grown men cry as they tried to bend their element only to fail again and again. She even had nightmares of facing herself where her cruel doppelganger would walk out of a cloudy mirror toward her, her expensive blood red robes spiraling around her like flames, the golden streaks in her eyes glowing ominously as they stared her down with emotionless features that rivaled those of Ozai's. The beautiful monster in red would rush through the mirror, bloodbend her to her knees, hold her head in her hands and suck her bending right out of her. The strangest part was, she would be relieved when her bending was gone until she woke and realized _she_ was the cold, elegant girl in that mirror and _she_ had stared down so many others in the exact same way while standing at Ozai's side with a loyalty that made her stomach lurch.

" _Good evening, Tara."_

Jerking, she realized someone was addressing her and that someone was unfortunately Zhao. He was on the dock right by her ship, waiting on her with a crooked smile on his face.

Katara hated Zhao. She'd hated him from the moment she laid eyes on him a few years ago. He had eyes that were empty, driven by something dark but she needed his harbor and his ability to do the necessary repairs and maintenance for said ship.

"Good evening," she replied.

"Your ship should be ready to take you back to the capital soon. In the meantime, would you be interested in joining me for a walk? I'd like to show you our accommodations," Zhao mused as he lingered in front of her ship's ramp, watching her every move and expression intently.

Katara frowned at the suggestion. He acted like she was Azula. She wasn't. Katara was a puppet. She had no actual say or influence when it came to Ozai and the Fire Nation but he had no way of knowing that…and she had a part to play. But perhaps a walk would help her forget the fearful, knowing looks from the townspeople for a while and the prospect of being by the water was too good to resist.

"Sure. I'd be honored," she lied but it wasn't like she had anything better to do.

* * *

Not even two seconds into her _'walk'_ with admiral Zhao, she learned that he really was nothing but a blow hard. He was constantly trying to tell her things about the Fire Nation Navy she could communicate back to the Fire Lord but little did he know she would never do such a thing. He was one of the many who misinterpreted the dynamic of her relationship with the Fire Lord and where her actual allegiances lied, so he showed her his ships, his men, and how well he was doing. He called each ship by name and told her his plans for each of them and how he planned to utilize them to the fullest in order to help Ozai win the war.

He clearly wanted another promotion.

She'd never been so bored in her life. As they reached yet another area of the naval base, a small yet very damaged ship pulled into port.

Zhao frowned and glared at the ship suspiciously. "Excuse me a moment, Your Grace."

Indifferent to anything Zhao did or said, she merely watched as he approached the battered ship.

The ship's ramp lowered and two men made their way down it and onto the harbor. Pulled by curiosity, Katara began moving towards the ship too. She couldn't explain why, but there was suddenly something very familiar about this ship and the men pouring out of it.

_Zuko…?_

She continued following in Zhao's shadow, squinting her eyes to get a better look. Surely it was just wishful thinking, her heart playing tricks on her but the closer she got, the more she began to second guess herself. The men from the ship came into focus and they looked more and more like General Iroh and Zuko. One was shorter than the other. One had black hair in a high ponytail and the other had a gray partial topknot and they were both clad in Fire Nation red.

Her heart fluttered wildly like a bird in a cage and she hadn't even realized she had started running.

"Zuko!" she cried, tears in her eyes as she blazed down the docks past Zhao.

He turned from Iroh, clearly taken back by the fact someone was calling him. His golden eyes narrowed at her before they widened with shock.

"Katara?"

She crashed into him, embracing him fully, practically sobbing into his neck as she was overcome by an onslaught of various emotions. Oh, how she'd missed him but something was…off. He was different, different even compared to the last time she'd seen him after Ozai burned him. He returned her embrace but he was stiff, rigid. He was nothing like she remembered except for his smell, his warmth, and the unique, raspy hum of his vocal chords but even that was deeper than she remembered.

He grabbed her shoulders and pried her away, looking down at her with confused eyes and a wrinkled brow. "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes fell shamefully to the ground between them, suddenly remembering why she was here and whose will had brought her here…

As if on cue, Zhao reached them and effectively broke the spell hanging around them. Zuko ripped his hands off her shoulders as if _she_ had burned _him._

"Captain Zhao," the prince hissed and folded his arms over his chest.

Zhao was arrogant and elegant as ever, his arms folded behind his back and his posture flawless. He purposely yet discreetly tried to force himself between Katara and Zuko.

"It's Commander now." His tone was aloof and somehow disrespectful as he turned his attention to Iroh. "And General Iroh, great hero of our nation."

"Retired general," Iroh politely corrected.

"The Fire Lord's brother and son are welcome guests anytime. What brings you to my harbor?"

"Our ship is being repaired," Iroh replied.

Katara's eyes went to the ship and she felt repaired might be an understatement. That ship needed to be _replaced._

"That's quite a bit of damage," Zhao mused as both he and Katara eyed the ship and for once, she had to agree with Zhao.

"Yes," Zuko sounded unsure. It was almost like he was asking a question. He had never been a good liar and she could tell he was lying without even feeling his pulse but she did subconsciously pick up on how it was thrumming rapidly in his neck. "You wouldn't believe what happened. Uncle, tell Commander Zhao what happened."

Iroh's eyes widened, looking shocked, his jaw dropping as he gaped at Zuko. "Yes. I will do that." He recovered quickly though. "It was incredible. What? Did we crash or something?"

"Yes," Zuko interjected immediately and a bit too loudly. "Right into an Earth Kingdom ship."

Katara's head cocked quizzically to the side and Zhao's brow furrowed.

"Really. You must regale us with all the thrilling details," Zhao sneered, practically dripping sarcasm. Unfortunately, Zhao was as convinced as Katara was that Zuko was being truthful.

Zhao leaned forward, towering over Zuko. It was a power move, an act of dominance but Zuko didn't falter.

"Join me for a cup of tea?" the commander probed, somehow making it sound more like a demand than a request.

Zuko humored Zhao for a moment before blowing him off with princely coolness, turning on his heel and attempting to walk away. "Sorry but we have to go."

Iroh reached out and grabbed the prince's shoulder before he could get too far. "Prince Zuko, show Commander Zhao your respect."

Zuko and Katara's eyes met and she could see his desperation to get away from Zhao and this situation. She gave him an apologetic glance that said she would help if she could but her hands were tied as well.

"We would be honored to join you," Iroh added. "Do you have any ginseng tea? It's my favorite."

The two older men began walking off towards Zhao's quarters and the moment they were out of earshot Zuko growled and held his arms out in front of him as if he were attempting to strangle someone, probably Zhao. He ground his hands together before finally huffing and shooting fire from his fists as he exhaled.

Begrudgingly, Zuko followed the two older men and Katara followed him.

* * *

Once Zhao had them in his tent on the other side of the harbor, he proceeded to do what Zhao does best. Boast. He gave a huge spill about how they planned to have the Earth Kingdom capital of Ba Sing Se under Fire Nation rule by the end of the year and how the Fire Lord would _finally_ claim victory.

Uncle was in the back of the tent, admiring Zhao's collection of weaponry while Zhao himself stared at the huge map on the red wall behind him. Zuko had purposely turned his back to Zhao upon entering hoping his disinterest would be so painfully obvious that Zhao would shut up sooner.

So far it hadn't worked.

Katara sat to his left. She wasn't facing Zhao but she hadn't been as rude to turn her back on him. However, she looked more bored than he did but then again, Zuko was more antsy and angry than bored.

The waterbender's eyes would wander to him occasionally but mainly favored the teapot on the table in front of them. She probably wanted to bend the tea out of it and use it to knock Zhao unconscious so he would stop rambling.

"If my father thinks the rest of the world will follow him willingly, then he is a fool," Zuko spat as Zhao took a smug seat next to him at his right.

"Two years at sea have done little to temper your tongue," Zhao mused but Zuko still refused to look at him. "So how is your search for the Avatar going?"

There was a loud crash on the other side of the tent that caused Katara to jolt out of her boredom-induced coma. Zuko didn't react or even look because looking would require him to look past Zhao (something he wanted to avoid as much as possible) but he could only assume from the flicker he saw in his peripheral that Uncle had knocked over the spears he had been admiring.

" _My fault entirely."_

His assumption was right.

"We haven't found him yet," Zuko snapped, peering over at Zhao from the corner of his eye.

"Did you really expect to?" Zhao mused as he eased into the empty chair next to him. "The Avatar died a hundred years ago, along with the rest of the airbenders."

Zuko's eyes went back to the table.

"Unless you've found some evidence that the Avatar is alive?" Zhao was practically drooling and when he looked over at him, Zuko wanted nothing more than to burn that smug look off his face. Permanently.

"No. Nothing." He was looking down at the table again and he hoped that wasn't any indication that he was lying but of course, he _was_ lying.

The Fire Prince had _more_ than evidence. At one point, he'd had the Avatar himself on his ship but he was not a one hundred year old man. He was a very agile and nimble child who had apparently been hiding in the South Pole. For how long, Zuko had no idea but long enough to form some kind of bond with the tribe, with one boy in particular…

Zuko's eyes cut to Katara and the resemblance between Katara and that Water Tribe boy was even more glaring now than it had been when he'd first laid eyes on him. However, the resemblance was subtle. It was in the way that he moved, the way he continually got up again and again despite how many times Zuko hurled him back into the snow. He would come at him again and again with new weapons as if they would change things or shift the odds. The boy from the southern tribe hadn't shifted the odds, but the Avatar certainly did when he swooped in to defend the peasants from him. He'd even offered himself in exchange for their safety! He had the Avatar offering himself up on a silver platter and he had _still_ lost him in the end!

His fingers clawed at the armrests of his chair as the memory resurfaced. The wound was still fresh. He could still feel the cold in his bones from being thrown into the icy water. He could still see them taking off on the bison while he could do nothing but watch from his marooned ship. He had never wanted to fly more in his entire life than in that moment.

"Prince Zuko-" Zhao rose to his feet so he could tower over him "-the Avatar is the only one who can keep the Fire Nation from winning this war." He leaned down toward him, leaving little space between them. The commander smelt like permeated smoke that came off damp, moldy logs. "If you have an ounce of loyalty left, you'll tell me what you've found."

"I haven't found anything." He shot him a black look, only his eyes moving. "It's like you said, the Avatar probably died a long time ago."

Before anything else could be said, one of Zhao's men entered the tent and stood at attention before them. "Commander Zhao, we interrogated the crew as you instructed. They confirmed that Prince Zuko had the Avatar in custody but let him escape."

Zuko didn't know who was more shocked by this development, him or Katara and before he could decide, he felt Zhao creeping up behind him.

"Now remind me, how exactly was your ship damaged?"

* * *

"I'm so sorry. If I had known Zhao was going to interrogate your crew, I would have offered to do it for him myself," Katara said, wriggling her fingers around nervously in her lap. "The Fire Lord uses me as a truth seer often. I could have offered to do the same for Zhao."

Zuko wanted to say that it wasn't her fault but all he could do was pinch the bridge of his nose and seethe. He was so angry he couldn't speak. Kicking the table over when Zhao's guards detained him had helped some but not a lot. Words could not express how angry he was that Zhao was keeping them here so he could gather a search party and prepare to obtain the Avatar himself. The worst part was he was powerless to stop it. He just had to sit her and stew in it.

"It is not your fault. Commander Zhao would have found out one way or another," Iroh replied and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"Still. I could've bought you more time," she insisted.

The anger was now a dull simmer and Zuko was finally able to will himself to look at his old friend. She was clad in red with more curves than he remembered her having. She wore a midriff that exposed her toned belly and a long skirt that hung low on her hips. Gold bangles and bands clung to her biceps and wrists and a ruby chocker wrapped around the middle of her neck. Her thick hair was up in a partial topknot while the rest tumbled down to the small of her back.

"You never answered my question. What are _you_ doing here?" he said as he forced his eyes to return to her face.

She shifted in her seat. "What I do best… I was sent here to deal with some men who had been caught earthbending and came to this particular harbor to have my ship inspected and repaired if necessary before we returned to the Fire Nation."

Regardless of why she was there, a part of him that was buried beneath all this Zhao nonsense was genuinely glad to see her and now that Zhao was out of sight, he could recognize that. It was nostalgic seeing her even though she was different than he remembered but her presence still gave him a strange warmth he hadn't felt in years. The pure aura of her was like soothing balm on a scathing burn. It was therapeutic. A piece of his old life had returned to him and was only a few feet away, covered in caramel colored skin and fine silk.

"So it's true. The Avatar really is back?" she asked, sounding oddly hopeful at the prospect. "You can tell me. I won't say a word to Zhao. I like talking to him almost as much as I like walking on hot coals."

He had _really_ been hoping she wouldn't ask about the Avatar. It wasn't that he didn't trust her. It was that he didn't want to tell her that he had attacked her homeland or let her know who was with the Avatar…her brother.

Katara's brother Sokka was traveling with the Avatar as they spoke. Zuko had found the tribesman familiar when he had defended the tribe and confronted him with a spear, a club, and even a boomerang, but brushed it off and related it back to his inability to tell most people of the tribes apart. However, when the Avatar busted in to aid him, he had called him by name. When the airbender cried _Sokka_ , Zuko knew that he wasn't imagining it and that he was in fact seeing Katara in him. They had the same blue in their eyes, the same determination and fearlessness…

He couldn't tell her. She couldn't know. Agni knows what she would do if she found out and he didn't want her to know that by hunting down the Avatar, he would be inadvertently hunting down her brother as well. But Zuko wouldn't harm Sokka. As much as Katara had spoken of him, Zuko almost felt like he _knew_ him. Even if that wasn't the case, he respected Katara too much to hurt someone she loved. He would find some way around it somehow but he resolved to not breath a word of that to her until he absolutely had to… _if_ he had to.

"It's true," he said lowly.

"I guess you'll be going as soon as your ship is repaired then, huh?"

Zuko nodded and her disappointment was evident as she sighed heavily and held her head down.

She was lovely, really, when he actually took the time to look _at_ her instead of through her as he did almost everything lately. She was lovelier than he ever thought she would be. She wasn't a beauty like he was accustomed to in the Fire Nation but she was no less striking. Her features were softer, rounder, and easier on the eyes.

Somehow, it wasn't surprising to feel that twinge of guilt and unease when her smile fell and disappointment marred that pretty face. It wasn't surprising at all to learn that even after two years, he _still_ hated seeing her sad. The bond they had obtained during their years together, while strained, was still there.

The guards brought in the tea Uncle requested and placed it on the table between them.

"What about you?" he finally thought to ask.

"I'll be taking a ship back to the capital tomorrow…unless the Fire Lord gets another whim and decides I need to make an example out of more benders. He has been pretty demanding since he got word that the Avatar is back."

"He knows?!" Zuko choked.

"Yes, but he is trying to keep it quiet as long as possible."

"It won't be easy to contain much longer," Iroh mused as he began pouring what was likely his sixth or seventh cup of tea.

Zuko crossed his arms and slouched in his chair. This day just kept getting better and better.

"Divine one…" One of the Zhao's men bowed to Katara. "Commander Zhao has requested your presence."

"She's busy," Zuko hissed, not giving Katara the chance to answer. He hadn't meant to snap like that. It just happened and when those words left his mouth without his consent, he realized it came from a strange, possessive place. He either didn't want her out of his sight or with Zhao. Perhaps both.

Katara's brow furrowed as she frowned. She stared at the guard for a long moment before glancing over at Zuko and Iroh. "Let me go see what he wants. Will you wait here until I come back?"

Zuko scoffed. "Like I have a choice. I couldn't leave even if I wanted to. We are stuck here until Zhao says otherwise."

She nodded and left the tent with the guard and Zuko was left with a horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach.

* * *

"Thank you for coming, Tara," Zhao sneered, looking victorious.

Men were buzzing around the harbor like buzzardwasps, stocking a nearby ship with supplies and firebenders. She could only assume that this would be Zhao's search party.

Katara said nothing but she did briefly contemplate permanently closing his left ventricle. No one would know the wiser. They would merely think he had a heart attack. He looked about middle age. He was capable of a heart attack.

"I have a job for you," he continued. "A request," he attempted to correct himself.

Again, she remained mute but eyed him carefully so he would know he had her attention.

"I need a your abilities, Divine One. Temporarily." He was sneering beneath the formality and Katara could only glare at him. What was his point? Whatever it was he better get to it. She was not in the mood for this.

"I want to you join me on my voyage to obtain the Avatar."

"Why would I willingly go on a wild goose chase with you, Commander Zhao? You know I only accept certain tasks. Besides, the Fire Lord will want me back in the Fire Nation." She had no way of knowing whether or not that was actually true but she was desperately trying to get out of this because she knew where this was headed and she wanted _no_ part of it.

"The Fire Lord will understand," Zhao countered. "The Avatar is a task of the upmost priority now that we know he has indeed returned. Fire Lord Ozai will no doubt want you to aid in his capture so that you can incapacitate him and take his bending so he will no longer be a threat to our great nation."

Katara's eyes fell. She knew Zhao was right. The whole reason _Tara_ existed was to help bring about the end this war and the Avatar was now standing in the way of the war ending in their favor. Ozai would want her to take his bending. At some point, Ozai would command her to aid someone in this search. If not Zhao, it would be someone else, possibly even Azula. One way or another, she would ultimately become a part of this. It seemed to be her destiny.

Silently, Katara weighed her options and ended up thinking not about herself but of Zuko. It was a very real possibility that she could end up in Zhao's search party. She could either relent now or wait for Ozai to command her to aid him. The first option would help no one. It would just be her avoiding the inevitable and potentially Azula. The latter, however, could keep Zhao at bay a little longer which could give Zuko an advantage in his search for the Avatar…

"I'm not aiding anyone until I have specific instructions from the Fire Lord. I won't make any assumptions. If you want my help, Commander Zhao, you'll send a hawk." Katara turned on her heel and made her way back to the tent where Iroh and Zuko waited, feeling satisfied with herself. That should buy Zuko some more time. She doubted Zhao would go without her and he could only detain Zuko for so long. It was either sacrifice her or release Zuko and she knew Zhao wanted the glory too much to sacrifice her aid.

She was happy to be helping Zuko but that also meant sacrificing herself to Zhao. If he sent a hawk to the Fire Lord, Ozai _would_ no doubt give him permission to utilize her abilities and command her to aid him in his search. However, this also meant she might be able to defy them both and potentially prevent Zhao from capturing the Avatar all together. After all, it was better for Zuko to obtain the Avatar than Zhao. Right? But privately, Katara was hoping the Avatar would elude them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> I admittedly know very little about ATLA geography outside of the basics. I know about the major cities in relation to the nations and whatnot but where they are specifically in relation to each other within those nations, I haven't the faintest, so I apologize if I completely butchered some of the Earth Kingdom geography/locations I used in this chapter.
> 
> As we progress, keep in mind that Katara and Zuko will have slightly different characters/personalities as a result of their altered upbringing. Katara will be rougher around the edges (at least for a little while) thanks to bloodbending (I have always bought into the theory that prolonged exposure to bloodbending would do things to your head, your humanity, etc.) and all her time with Ozai and Azula, and Zuko will be softer as a result of having Katara in his life after Ursa left. I'm trying really hard to keep them in character OVERALL while still trying to comply with the restraints of this crazy universe I'm creating.
> 
> Thanks again for reading and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

When Katara reentered the tent where Iroh and Zuko were still being detained, Zuko immediately got to his feet and helped close the gap between them. He still looked anxious and above all, irritated.

"What did he want?" he asked impatiently. He'd always had this way of making questions seem more like demands.

Katara swallowed. "He asked me to join his search party."

Anger blazed behind his eyes and she instinctively took a step back.

"What did you say?" Zuko finally asked, his tone surprisingly calm but only because he was teetering on the edge between composure and full-blown rage.

"I told him I couldn't do anything without the Fire Lord's permission and that if he really wanted me to join him, he would send a messenger hawk."

"Why didn't you just tell him _no_?!"

She flinched a little. "Because… Telling him no wouldn't help you."

Zuko went from angry and betrayed to confused so fast it was as if a switch had been flipped.

"I'm prolonging the inevitable," she continued. "Zhao would probably get permission to use me one way or another and if not him, someone else but this way, I can help you. Telling him to send a hawk might buy you some more time and if I do have to go with Zhao, I can keep an eye on him."

For the first time since being reunited with him, she saw a flash of her old Zuko. That warmth that she'd known so well flickered inside his eyes and his features softened significantly.

Memories were suddenly crashing over her like waves, all the times she'd cried in front of him when her sadness was too great, the times he would do things just for the sole purpose of trying to make her laugh even though they both knew he wasn't funny at all, how they would stay up late talking because she was afraid of the nightmares she'd have if she went to sleep, how they'd sometimes sneak out of the palace together, how they had mourned Ursa together… Lastly, she recalled how much it hurt to let him go when he was banished, how she'd wanted to hold onto him forever and beg him to take her with him, not caring in the least about where he was going as long as she was with him…

"Why would you do that for me?" he asked softly, pulling her out of her reverie.

Katara smiled and took hold of one of the hands that was clinched at his side. He had almost been warm to the touch but now he was almost hot. She didn't know if it was due to the fact that he had been angry not to long ago or because he was older.

"You're my friend, Zuko… You were always looking out for me... Is it so wrong for me to want to do the same for you?"

The Fire Prince was stunned into silence. His jaw was tight but his eyes were soft, swimming with emotions she couldn't read. It reminded her so much of the shocked looks he gave her shortly after they first met. Her kindness had always surprised him because he had been shown so little of it.

"There are still people who are on your side despite what you think. Not everyone is out to get you," she snapped.

Katara hadn't necessarily been expecting a thank you but she had been hoping for more of a reaction. He didn't even seem grateful. He seemed…frustrated, like he couldn't figure out how he felt about what she was trying to do for him.

Iroh was suddenly offering her a cup of tea and a seat. Both of which she accepted.

"Tara has done a very kind thing for you, Price Zuko," Iroh chastised as Zuko turned his back to them and paced the room. "Don't you think you should thank her?"

Zuko took in a deep breath, looked in her general direction but not directly at her before stiffly saying: "Thank you."

He was suddenly distant again, obsessed and focused on obtaining one thing. She was background noise even though she'd just gone out of her way to help him because she cared about him. And that hurt. It hurt a lot.

As she sipped at her tea, she realized she'd been forgotten and left behind in his pursuit for the Avatar and his father's approval. Perhaps not entirely forgotten but deemed unimportant, irrelevant. Maybe she'd never really mattered that much to begin with. Maybe she'd invested more in him than he ever did in her. Maybe he saw her the way Ozai and Azula did after all. Maybe Hama had been right about Zuko from the beginning. Maybe all firebenders _were_ the same…

"Excuse me, guard?" Iroh eased toward the firebenders at the tent's entrance. "You wouldn't happen to have a Pai Sho board lying around anywhere, would you?"

Zuko groaned. "Uncle! We don't have time for Pai Sho!"

"Sure we do! Who knows how long it will be before Commander Zhao comes back! Why not make the best of it?" Iroh turned towards her, clearly trying to break the tension. "Tara, would you play Pai Sho with me?"

Katara couldn't keep herself from smiling. "I'd love to."

Zuko growled nearby and looked like he was about to kick something over again but instead, angrily plopped down next to her and folded his arms over his chest.

Despite her thoughts about all firebenders being the same, she couldn't keep from enjoying herself after the guards set up the Pai Sho table for them. She'd forgotten how much she enjoyed Iroh's tea and games, how good they'd been for her soul.

Zuko grumbled and grouched the whole time but stayed by her side and tried to help her best Iroh. She could feel the heat coming off him in waves, so she knew he was legitimately frustrated with the turn of events but it intrigued her that he was participating regardless.

Katara looked over at Zuko smugly. "I thought we didn't have time for Pai Sho?"

He huffed and rolled his eyes.

* * *

Eventually, Zhao reentered the tent, flanked by two guards. Zuko frowned at the sight of him and instinctively pulled away from Katara. He was practically on top of her so that he could eye the Pai Sho board and help her strategize against Uncle but it wasn't until Zhao entered the room that he realized just how close he was to her.

He didn't want Zhao to know how much Katara meant to him, how close they had been. He couldn't afford to have any weaknesses or even perceived weaknesses in this situation. Plus, he didn't want Zhao getting any ideas that might put Katara in danger. This was between them and he wanted to keep it that way.

"Once my search party is ready and I am out to sea, my guards will escort you back to your ship and you'll be free to go," Zhao declared matter-of-factly.

"Why? Are you worried I'm gonna try and stop you?" the prince challenged.

Zhao laughed. "You? Stop me? Impossible."

Zuko's temper flared again and he was suddenly on his feet. "Don't underestimate me, Zhao. I _will_ capture the Avatar before you."

Uncle stood as well in a vain attempt to calm him down. "Prince Zuko, that's enough."

"You can't compete with me. I have hundreds of war ships under my command, and you… You're just a banished prince, no home, no allies. Your own father doesn't even want you."

It was like Zhao _wanted_ him to blast his head off his shoulders. He was taunting him on purpose! He wanted him to go blind with rage but Zuko resolved to keep his cool. He refused to give Zhao the satisfaction.

"You're wrong. Once I deliver the Avatar to my father, he will welcome me with honor and restore my rightful place on the throne."

"If your father really wanted you home, he would have let you return by now. Avatar or no Avatar, but in his eyes you are a failure and a disgrace to the Fire Nation."

"That's not true." Zuko tried really hard not to sound wounded but somehow failed despite his best efforts and harsh tone.

Zhao's mouth almost tilted into a crooked smirk. "You have the scar to prove it."

"Maybe you'd like one to match!" Zuko charged toward him, red bursts of rage exploding behind his eyes.

Katara was on her feet now too and he could feel the gentlest of touches on his arm. She wasn't holding him back. She was trying to help him keep his cool. It was her way of telling him not to do something stupid. It was an old trick. She used to do it all the time whenever she thought he was on the verge of getting in trouble or setting something on fire, like she was his conscience. Maybe she was. The little voice of reason in his head still sounded a great deal like her.

"Zuko…" she whispered softly, her tone so low only he heard it. Her voice kept him from _completely_ losing his head but it wasn't enough to pull him back from the precipice he was about to hurl himself over. He was too angry to stop.

"Is that a challenge?" the commander taunted.

"An Agni Kai, at sunset," Zuko growled.

"Very well. It's a shame your father won't be here to watch me humiliate you but I guess your uncle and Tara will do." Zhao turned arrogantly on his heel and left the tent with his guards.

"Prince Zuko, have you forgotten what happened the last time you dueled a master?" Uncle inquired, asking as if he were a five year old who'd suffered amnesia. He wasn't.

"I will never forget."

"Then why would you do that? Are you _crazy_?" Katara reeled, her eyes wide.

Maybe. It was very possible that he lost his mind about a year ago out at sea.

"What good could it possibly do?" she added when he didn't answer.

He started to explain but he knew she probably wouldn't understand even if he did. This was more than honor and respect. This was about rights to the Avatar. This was about a strategic advantage. It was almost primal like marking your territory and the Avatar was _his_ territory.

Likely realizing she wouldn't get an answer from him she threw up her arms and stormed out of the tent. "You're crazy!"

* * *

After her outburst, she'd resolved to stay in her tent and pout until the Agni Kai was over. If Zuko was dumb enough to _willingly_ hurl himself into another Agni Kai, then he could go through it alone. He had Iroh… He didn't need her anyway.

Yes, she'd resolved to stay far away from the stupid Fire Nation tradition but as she lied on her cot in a tight ball her guilt and nerves were starting to get the best of her. Just as she was about to cave and go back to check on the whole situation, she sensed someone inside her tent and felt the bedding on her cot give.

A bit startled, she looked over her shoulder to see who the intruder was and saw Zuko sitting on the edge of the cot beside her. He didn't say a word. He just sat there, staring at her, looking apologetic. He also looked like he didn't even understand why he was there or what to do now that he was. Or maybe he was trying to figure _her_ out. Maybe that was why he was staring at her so intently.

Slowly, she sat up and met his gaze.

"I wish you wouldn't do this," she said even though he was already dressed and ready for the Agni Kai. The burgundy bands were wrapped around his biceps and his shirt and shoes were gone. He was all chiseled muscle now, likely the result of ruthless, self-induced training.

"I have to," he replied.

_Stupid Fire Nation pride…_

"I don't want to see you get hurt. That's why I didn't go to your last Agni Kai…"

Zuko looked surprised by her admission. "I just thought you didn't know."

She shook her head. "No. I knew. I just…couldn't."

"It'll be different this time. I refuse to let him win," he said, sounding determined.

She knew this was different. He wouldn't be dueling his own father this time but still. She didn't like the prospect of having to heal him again but she knew she would in a heartbeat if she had to.

"I won't watch," she said as she got up and stared down at him. "I can't. So…I'll be by the docks if you need me."

Zuko nodded as if that was all that he needed to know, as if that was what he had come for, like he simply needed to know that she was still on his side before he faced Zhao.

"I'll find you."

With that, he left. She stood there for a long time, staring at the tent flaps, her arms folded over her chest. She wanted no part of any of this but she knew she would never be able to forgive herself if Zhao hurt Zuko and she wasn't there to help him.

Sighing heavily, she exited the tent and aimlessly wandered through the harbor for a while. When she reached a dock without a ship blocking the view of the glaring sunset, she removed her shoes and dipped her feet into the water, trying to find some semblance of herself in her element…if there was any of it left inside her.

Her fingers itched to pull at the water and bend it into her hands where it belonged but she had been disconnected from it for so long she didn't know how to approach it anymore. Bloodbending was her lifeblood. Bloodbending was her reaction and if someone were to attack her now, she would defend herself with bloodbending even though she was surrounded by an abundance of water. Still, the presence of water calmed her and always made her feel a bit better.

As she waited for the Agni Kai to end, she stared at the sunset and all the red and orange it projected onto the world around her. She tried to relax and think of other things like her family and the Avatar but all she could think of was Zuko in one form or another.

Seeing him again had stirred so many old, nostalgic feelings back to life. She remembered with an almost savage clarity how he had been the best part of her days, how he had been what she looked forward to and how just before he'd been banished, he'd obtained the ability to release butterflies into her stomach. She hadn't stood a chance against those regal slopes in his face, those bright golden eyes filled with warmth, determination, and drive. They were the eyes of someone who had high hopes and aspirations…but those eyes were gone now, replaced by a duller but no less intense glow that reflected the anger, bitterness, and resentment burning in his soul.

Apparently, there was still some remnant of waterbender left inside her because all she wanted to do was heal him and bring her bright-eyed prince back, the prince who smiled, the prince who'd made her days bearable, the prince Ozai took away from her, the prince Azula teased her about…

" _Tara loves Zuzu! Look at her blush!"_

**No, I don't…and I'm not blushing…**

" _You'll have to go through Mai to get him!"_

**She can have him…**

" _She's like a polar-bear dog. She follows him everywhere. Isn't it hilarious?"_

**I do not…**

She lost track of time, lost inside the fortress that was her damaged psyche and had no idea how long she'd been there before the sounds of footsteps pulled her from her musings. She looked over her shoulder to see Zuko and Iroh approaching her and their ship that waited in a dock not too far from her.

Clumsily, she hauled her sopping feet and ankles from the water and ran across the harbor to meet them.

"What happened? Are you hurt?" she asked even though there were no injuries that she could see and he seemed to be moving just fine.

"Prince Zuko was victorious and fought honorably. However, the same cannot be said for Zhao," Iroh declared, beaming with pride and for a moment, even Zuko looked like he might actually smile.

Katara rolled her eyes. "I take it Zhao didn't respond well to losing."

Zuko shook his head. "No."

"Why am I not surprised to learn Zhao is a sore loser?" She smirked, feeling relieved. "Congratulations, Zuko."

He almost smiled again but his mouth only curved slightly.

"I will inform the crew to prepare to depart." Iroh's amber eyes cut back to Katara. "It has been a real privilege seeing you again. I'm sure we will cross paths again soon."

Katara smiled and bowed to the old general. "I hope so."

Iroh journeyed back to the ship, leaving Katara alone with the Fire Prince. Being near him again was strange. This Zuko was all but a stranger but he was also _her_ Zuko, the one from her memories, as hard as that was to wrap her mind around.

Her Zuko smiled. Her Zuko had bright eyes. Her Zuko didn't have a scar that covered almost half of his face. Her Zuko was easy to talk to. Now it was almost as if all of Zuko's bad qualities had been enhanced. They were characteristics she recognized but they were now magnified to the point that they drowned out the others buried inside him. The good in him was there, somewhere. She knew it. She saw it flickering dully behind his eyes from time to time.

There was so much that she wanted to say to him and so much that she wanted to ask but there just wasn't enough time and she had no idea how to even begin. She just didn't know how to bridge the gap that had grown between them and she didn't know how to heal him even though she could see that he needed it badly. There was so much damage… That was why he was almost unrecognizable…

"It doesn't really seem fair," she mused, smiling up at him a little. "I just found you again and you're already leaving."

Zuko nodded, his eyes favoring the ground beneath her dripping bare feet.

Without thinking, she hugged him. This time she was painfully aware of how much bigger he was now and how much warmer he was to the touch since he was still dressed for the Agni Kai and wore no shirt. His skin practically burned her as her cheek pressed against his bare chest but it wasn't a bad burn. It was comforting. Familiar.

His muscles tensed underneath her before they relaxed and she felt his arms wind around her shoulders loosely. Zuko had never really been fond of her oppressive (and sometimes overbearing) hugs but it amazed her how he always returned them.

She wanted to tell him how much she'd missed him, how she almost missed him as much as she missed her home and family, how after he was banished she would go to his room and lay in his bed just so she could find his smell and feel a little less alone, how she was lonelier now than she had ever been in her entire life but nothing came out. She could only hold him.

It was almost just like the last time she held him like this. She found herself wanting to hold onto him for dear life so he couldn't go. As long as she held on, he couldn't leave. She couldn't hold onto him forever but she could try.

He eased closer to her, and gently placed a hand on the back of her head, coaxing her further towards his shoulder, his fingers digging through her hair and curling against the nape of her neck. She shivered involuntarily. She just hoped he didn't notice.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," he said lowly, his tone flat but she could tell he meant it. He'd just had no choice or say in the matter. She knew if it had been up to him, he never would have left the Fire Nation or her and if he had stayed, he would have continued watching over her and being there for her when she needed him and oh how she had needed him when the bloodbending training intensified…

Her hands gripped at his bare shoulders as relief flooded her heart. He _was_ still in there. He still cared. She'd made the right choice. She wasn't helping someone who couldn't care less about her. The Zuko she loved was still in there and that was all she needed to know to go through with helping him, to join Zhao for his sake if it came to that.

_I'll find a way to take his pain away. I'll undo all the damage Ozai did…somehow…_

Zuko pulled away first, as was expected but what she didn't expect was for him to linger and look down at her as if he were trying to get a better look at her, as if he were somehow seeing her for the first time, as if he were trying to bore into her head and read her thoughts.

What shocked her even more was that, for a split second, she thought of him… _kissing_ her. Katara had never been kissed in her life and she had never even really thought about such things with much depth outside of listening to Ty Lee, Mai, and Azula but that was never personal. This, however, was _very_ personal and her mind had gone there on its own. The biggest shock of all of this was that she wasn't completely appalled by the prospect of him kissing her even though a part of her knew she probably should be.

His eyes were dark yet full of that stunning gold she remembered so well even though the left side of his face was now marred by red.

He wasn't frowning or scowling. His features were softer, more like the way she remembered them but she had to continually remind herself that _that_ Zuko was long gone. He was different and she was suddenly looking at him differently.

"I have to go," he said lowly.

Katara smiled briefly. "I know." Fearlessly and without thinking, she reached up and touched his face, his scar. "I just wish you didn't."

She hadn't meant to say that out loud but it came out anyway.

Zuko closed his eyes. He didn't really lean into her touch but he didn't pull away either.

Eventually, he opened his eyes and it looked like he wanted to say something else. In the end, he just gave her a look that told her everything would be okay but she knew he didn't really believe that at all. He was just looking at her that way to make her feel better, to pacify her, to keep her from looking at him with sad, polar bear-dog eyes. Zuko could never stomach her sadness, which was why he always came to her room after she returned from bloodbending training and it was why he was humoring her now.

When he let go of her, she felt cold and empty. He had been so warm and so close…and then he was gone, in and back out of her life so fast it could have given her whiplash.

She watched his ship leave just as she did two years ago and when the sun went down, she walked to her tent so the moon wouldn't see her. She often felt she'd betrayed it and for some reason, now was one of those times. Maybe it was because she'd been so close to a firebender. Maybe it was because she abused the moon's power on a daily basis. Maybe it was because she knew she might have to use it to harm the Avatar soon. Whatever the reason, she couldn't bear to be near the water or under the moon anymore that day.

With Zuko gone, Katara had nothing left to do but rest wait for word from Zhao even though a part of her wanted to run away before he came looking for her.

She lied down on the cot in her tent, staring out at nothing and dreading his arrival because it would either mean returning to Ozai and Azula or taking orders from Zhao and potentially harming the world's last hope for peace. She hoped for the latter because if she was with Zhao, she had some control over what became of the Avatar and Zuko. That was what she'd wanted but now that it was finally sinking in that it was a very real possibility, she was dreading it. Zhao was an unpleasant man to be around and joining his search party would undoubtedly be just as unpleasant.

As expected, once Zhao had time to lick his wounds after losing the Agni Kai to Zuko, he entered her tent looking very put together aside from the wild look in his eyes. Other than that, she never would have suspected he'd just suffered an embarrassing defeat to a boy half his age.

Katara gazed over her shoulder at him and started to not even get up but ultimately decided against it. Ursa and the Fire Sages' lessons had apparently been more potent than she thought, so she stood and addressed him properly.

"Commander Zhao."

Zhao bobbed his head in acknowledgement. "I've received word from the Fire Lord. You are to join me on my voyage to obtain the Avatar."

Silence.

The commander began pacing. "According to Zuko's crew, the Avatarwas spotted near the South Pole, traveling with some water tribe boy."

Katara's ears perked and her eyes brightened. "You're going to the South Pole?"

"Doubtful," Zhao snorted. "The Avatar is on the move north. We suspect he will be going to the North Pole to find a waterbending master since there are no more waterbenders in the South Pole."

Yes, Katara was very aware that there were no more waterbenders in the South Pole. After all, she was the last one and sometimes even she doubted if what she was even qualified as a waterbender anymore. She was something dark now, immoral…

"And you want to intercept," she finished for him.

"Yes. I plan on killing three birds with one stone."

Katara's expression contorted with confusion. "Three birds?"

Zhao looked surprised then amused by her sudden interest but quickly recovered with a sneer.

"The Avatar and the Northern Water Tribe are two of the birds but the third…" He paused to stare her down. "You shouldn't worry about the third. It doesn't concern you."

_Zuko… He's talking about Zuko._

"What are you planning on doing to Zuko?" she demanded, her eyes hardening.

Instead of looking angry, Zhao once again looked amused.

"My, you are perceptive, aren't you?"

"If you're planning on hurting Zuko…"

Zhao feigned hurt and placed a hand over his armored chest. "Your Grace, I am appalled that you would think me capable of such things. I would never ask you to harm him."

"I won't help you hurt him either and if you try anything, I won't hesitate to tell the Fire Lord that you were plotting against his son."

Zhao sat in the chair in the corner of the tent and got comfortable, crossing his legs and folding his hands under his chin. "Do you really think he would care?"

Her heart plummeted into her stomach. He knew she was bluffing and they both knew Ozai's reaction to such a claim would be unpredictable at best. He could be furious but there was also the distinct possibility that he wouldn't even flinch.

"You don't. I can tell by the look on your face that you aren't sure how the Fire Lord would react." Zhao pulled an old pipe covered in writhing gold dragons out of his pocket, filled it with some leafy substance and lit it with his finger. "Let me ask you something. Were you at the Agni Kai between Prince Zuko and Fire Lord Ozai?"

"I would hardly call that an Agni Kai…"

Zhao held up his hand to silence her. "Regardless. You weren't there, were you? I stood near General Iroh and Princess Azula during the Agni Kai. Since you weren't with them, I assume that you were never present."

Katara's eyes fell. "No."

"Then allow me to enlighten you." He took a few puffs out of his pipe. "Fire Lord Ozai showed absolutely no mercy even though Prince Zuko begged for it. The Fire Lord specifically chose to strike Zuko in the face with a palm full of fire in point blank range. You could practically hear Zuko's jaw crack from the force and I honestly thought I'd be seeing some of his teeth next to him when he fell to the ground."

The waterbender flinched. She couldn't help it. This was exactly why she hadn't attended. Her heart couldn't take it. She always knew she'd be better off not knowing.

"Now you tell me." Zhao blew smoke out of his nostrils. "Does that sound like a man who would care if something happened to his _banished_ son?"

She wanted to argue with him. She wanted to say that someone would care, that she could go to one of the High Sages and they would care but they belonged to Ozai and if Ozai didn't care, they couldn't take any action. Her only hope was that Ozai might punish Zhao for killing a member of the royal family, not because he cared, but because he needed to make an example out of him. However, even that seemed like a stretch, especially if it looked like an accident. Ozai would probably just overlook it and be happy to wash his hands of Zuko completely.

"I am not a completely heartless man, Tara." Zhao stood and took a few steps toward her but she kept her eyes low and her arms crossed to keep a barrier between them. "I know you care about him and I can even tell that the hot-headed prince cares about you too in his own little way. So, should the opportunity present itself, I won't ask you to help me handle Prince Zuko."

"The day you try to hurt Prince Zuko is the day I leave your search party," she said confidently, defiantly.

Commander Zhao sighed heavily. "Very well, Your Grace. We shall play this your way. I will only strike _if_ the banished prince gets in my way."

Katara didn't believe him for an instant. She knew there were almost fifty different loopholes in that statement that he could manipulate later but at least she'd made it a little harder for him to maneuver this particular situation.

"Try to get some rest. We set out at dawn." Zhao stuck his pipe in the corner of his mouth and pulled the tent flaps back. "Goodnight, Tara. I will see you at sunrise."

And just like that, he was gone and she wanted to scream or bloodbend him until _he_ screamed. For a moment, she wondered what was stopping her from doing just that but she quickly remembered herself. She didn't want to be a monster even if Zhao _did_ deserve to have his left ventricle permanently shut. Not to mention Ozai would know if she did anything to Zhao and she was suddenly hearing his old threat in her head…

' _Careful,_ **peasant** , _I gave you your freedom, and I can take it away just as easily. If you are so appalled by what I could do to my own son, just imagine what I'd be willing to do to you.'_

A shiver ran up her spine with the memory. She could practically feel Ozai's hand tightening around her throat, the muscles in his thick fingers twitching as he likely thought of killing her right then and there, the hot tips of his fingers digging into her skin until it bruised.

She knew she was once again defeated, once again placed in a situation where she was left with little choice. This arrangement was now cemented in place but she kept trying to remind herself why she was doing it. She'd resolved to do this for Zuko and even the Avatar and _that_ was still _her_ choice. Not anyone else's. So she could join Zhao…but that didn't mean she had to like it.


	8. Chapter 8

Katara had strict conditions. Zhao called her uncooperative and unreasonable but lacked the ability to force her into anything.

Yes, Katara agreed to aid him but under  _her_  conditions. She wouldn't help him capture the Avatar but would take his bending if Zhao and his men somehow managed to capture him on their own. She lied, saying that this was the  _'spirits'_ will. Zhao scoffed at her claims but apparently decided that this was better than nothing.

She stayed in a separate ship often. She refused to share the same air as Zhao if at all possible. However, she did try to check in from time to time to see how close they were to the Avatar or if he was planning on making Zuko's life harder.

Yes, traveling with Zhao was about as pleasant as Katara had expected it would be. It was unbearably boring and lonely work. Zhao made several pit stops whenever he got a whiff of the illusive Avatar but most of his energy went into preparations.

Zhao put a lot into preparing his fleet and obtaining other weird assets. He was nothing if not ambitious and he had big dreams, dreams that would never see fruition but dreams nonetheless.

The closest Zhao came to obtaining the Avatar was after the Winter Solstice. Apparently, the Avatar was at the Fire Temple trying to receive a message from Avatar Roku. By the time they made it to the temple, there was nothing left but some rocks and disgruntled Fire Sages.

Of course, Zhao blamed the sages for his failing to capture the Avatar. He arrested them for aiding the Avatar even though – according to the High Sage – only one of them helped the Avatar make contact with Roku. Zhao then demanded she take their bending for their treachery. She'd refused at first but eventually they came to a compromise. Thus, she'd been forced to take the bending of the sage that actually helped the Avatar. The others were taken to the prison hold.

The sight of Fire Sages had turned her stomach. They weren't the sages that helped mold her into what she was now but they wore the same robes and they brought back the same unpleasant memories. As a result, Katara stayed in her quarters. A lot. Even after the sages were transported to another ship.

Katara slept so much she knew it had to be unhealthy but while they were at sea, there was basically nothing else for her to do. She could only talk to the crew and the cooks for so long. Sometimes she tried to read or stay on the ship deck and look at the water but it was just easier to sleep.

However, they had _finally_  reached land again. Zhao had some weird deal or some other weird business to attend to. Katara didn't really care what it was. She was just happy she was able to get off those dark, dank ships for a while.

Zhao was in close contact with Ozai, so Katara or Tara had to continue making appearances. She had to maintain a presence in the Earth Kingdom. Zhao would rat her out to the Fire Lord or find her behavior suspicious if she didn't. But she refused to take anyone's bending unless it was _absolutely_  necessary. Thus, most of her time in villages and towns was spent healing the sick or helping those who were injured _._

After visiting the nearest village and treating a sick child and a woman's broken wrist, she decided she was going to do something for herself for a change. She ditched her guards (which were much more lax than the guards Ozai assigned to her) and wandered into the woods.

Katara walked for a long time, enjoying the lush trees, mountain ranges, the vibrant leaves overhead and thick moss underfoot. Wherever they were in the Earth Kingdom, it was beautiful.

She didn't know how long she'd been walking when she came across a pretty little pond. She found herself smiling and she honestly couldn't get to it fast enough.

Making sure no one was around, she stripped down to her bindings and dove into the water.

The water was probably too cold as she eased in but it still felt great. Frankly, she was going crazy in those ships but at least she hadn't had to bloodbend in a while. She always felt better if she had a good stent without bloodbending. She had no proof but she just knew bloodbending had negative psychological effects on her.

She stayed under the water a long as she could, enjoying the rumble of water in her ears and how it drowned all the other noise around her and maybe even in her…

" _Wake up, Katara."_

_Katara groaned, pulling the covers up over her head. "Why are you awake? The sun came up three seconds ago."_

_She would never understand why firebenders were so adamant about waking up so early. She hated it. She and mornings just didn't get along. She was much more active at night._

" _Come on. We're going to train," Zuko's gravely voice insisted._

_She grumbled and hid further under her covers. However, she felt eyes boring into her and when she peaked, she saw Zuko kneeling by the bed staring at her with a smirk on his face and his head slightly cocked to the side. She giggled and threw a pillow at him._

_Zuko did the snort-like thing he did instead of a laugh and got back to his feet. "Come on. Get dressed. I'll be waiting outside."_

_Somehow, she managed to throw on some clothes but didn't fix her hair, something Zuko teased her about until they entered the palace gardens._

" _So…how exactly are we going to train?" she asked as she walked next to him. "I'm not bloodbending you…"_

" _You won't have to. You're gonna waterbend," he clarified._

" _How?" Now she was really confused. Excited, but confused._

" _Climb that." He pointed to the crooked tree in the corner of the garden nearest the wall encompassing the area. "Then I'll help you over the top."_

_She began climbing up the tree and eased on top of the wall. Once she felt balanced she sat down on it and waited for Zuko._

_The prince climbed the tree with much more speed and grace than she had, which wasn't surprising. There weren't a lot of trees in the South Pole..._

_He stood beside her on the wall a moment before jumping off to the other side. With a graceful roll, he collided with the earth. A few blades of grass clung to him but other than that, he appeared unharmed._

_After dusting himself off, he held his arms out for her to jump into, which she did without hesitation._

_Zuko caught her with a curt grunt then, placed her on the ground._

_With the wall behind them, they began wandering through the woodland behind the palace. This was uncharted territory for her. She rarely got to explore or wander like this._

" _Where are we going?" she asked although she really didn't care. She was just happy to be away from the palace and bloodbending and Ozai and the Fire Sages. And honestly, she was just happy to be with Zuko._

_A part of her wanted to pretend that they were running away together. She liked imagining that they were leaving to start a new life together away from Ozai and Azula and firebending and bloodbending… Her imagination went wild with all of the places they could go and all of the things they could do together but the cold hard reality of what life was_ **really** _like was hard to ignore. It ruined the magical illusion in her head._

" _I found this pond the other day. I thought we could come here and you could waterbend on your own for a change."_

_When they reached the body of water, it was one of the most beautiful things she'd seen in a long time. It wasn't that big and was like most of the bodies of water in the Fire Nation. It shimmered and sparkled with a few lily pads floating along the edges and willow trees dipping their long vines into the water as if to get a sip._

_It wasn't anything spectacular but it was…special._

_He'd done this for her. Bloodbending training had been intensifying and he'd been noticing the toll it had taken on her. She'd been keeping him awake with her nightmares and insomnia, and he'd been staying in her room at night to comfort her. This was another way he was trying to help her and she was suddenly overcome with a hundred different emotions._

_The next thing she knew she was leaping into Zuko's arms and embracing him._

" _Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Katara squeezed tighter._

_Zuko grimaced. "Okay. Okay. Don't get all mushy on me."_

When she finally resurfaced, she saw a pair of smug, brown eyes staring at her.

"You're alive." The young man smiled. "For a second, I thought you'd downed under there. You must be a waterbender."

"Shh!" Katara hissed. She couldn't figure out if she was angrier about being spied on or the fact that this kid had just called her a waterbender when Zhao and his goons weren't that far away. This boy didn't seem to recognize her or know whom she was but he could still cause some serious problems for her.

"Don't worry. There aren't any firebenders around. I checked but you should be careful." He placed his hands on his hips, his cocky smirk still cemented in place.

"I can take care of myself," she snapped. "And didn't anyone ever tell you that it's rude to spy on people?!"

"I wasn't spying. I was just making sure you were okay and since firebenders are running rampant around here lately…"

"I'm fine and like I said, I can take care of myself," she repeated tersely as she eased out of the water but suddenly thought better of it when those smug eyes lingered on her. Instinctively, she crossed her arms over her chest.

No one had ever looked at her like… _that_ …before. His gaze was ravenous, like she was something to eat. She was suddenly even more embarrassed because this boy wasn't ugly. He had tan skin, scruffy brown hair, and of course, those smug dark eyes. There was a piece of straw in his mouth that he was swirling around with his tongue as he stared at her. He had this look like he knew this big secret and that he would gladly share that secret with you, for the right price.

Katara tried to brush past him but he once again stopped her, stepping into her path.

"Whoa… You're eyes…"

Katara blushed again and tried to find her clothes but wondered if she should since he already assumed she was a waterbender. The red might make this even more confusing and awkward but she couldn't stand just being in her bindings anymore. Not with the way he was looking at her…

"Who are you?" he mused, sounding both intrigued and puzzled.

"No one…"

She kept her eyes low but when she picked up her red clothes, his eyes got even bigger.

"You're Fire Nation?" His tone went from wistful to flat in a millisecond.

She shrugged. "Kind of."

Their eyes met and he looked like he didn't know what to make of her anymore.

"What do you mean  _kind of_?" The boy no longer looked as flirty or amused. He was now looking at her like she could be a potential threat. Maybe he was right… Maybe she was. Either way, she mentally prepared to defend herself if it came to it. She'd make it quick. She'd just bloodbend him unconscious and it would all be like a bad dream. He might not even remember.

"I was adopted by a Fire Nation family." Over the years, Katara had learned that sometimes, vague truths were the best answers. It wasn't really lying and was easier to remember, which made said lying a bit more natural.

"Are you from the colonies?"

"You ask a lot of questions," Katara snapped as she wrung some of the cool water out of her hair.

"I'm sorry. I'm just kind of…confused." He folded his arms over his chest.

"Trust me, asking more questions will only make that worse." She slipped her shirt over her head and shimmied her way back into her skirt.

He nodded, placed a hand on his hip and paced around her as she redressed.

"I'm Jet, by the way."

Katara looked up at him and tried to decide what name she should give him. She'd never really been in this kind of position before and didn't know how to handle it.

He took several steps toward her, getting a bit too close for her liking. "It's okay. You don't have to tell me your name if you don't want to. I know a lot of people have rough pasts and I know that being adopted by firebenders had to be traumatic but I won't hold that against you. It's not your fault."

She looked away and chewed at the inside of her cheek.

"You could get away from them if you wanted to. I could help you."

Katara scoffed. "I appreciate the offer but no one can help me."

"I bet I can. You can join me and my freedom fighters. Well, what's left of them anyway..."

It was tempting. She'd give him that much. Katara wanted to run away. Badly. But abandoning Zhao felt a lot like abandoning Zuko and she couldn't bear the thought of that. She couldn't shake the feeling that he needed her and she couldn't turn her back on him. Not to mention there was the situation with the Avatar and the fact that even if she did run away, Ozai would probably hunt her down to the ends of the Spirit World…

"I can't…" she whispered and he probably heard the reluctance in her voice. It was obvious how she wanted to escape it all. He clearly didn't get why but he'd pinpointed that particular desire with a surprising amount of ease.

"You can start over. That's what I'm trying to do. I've done some things recently I'm not proud of…"

She wanted to probe but if she probed, he would probe and Katara couldn't handle any probing. There were too many lies throbbing right underneath the surface.

"I'd love to start over but…" Her eyes met his. "You see…if I leave now, someone I care about might get in trouble. They might need me and if I run away now…"

"Is it your boyfriend?"

Katara reeled. "What?! No! Why would you even ask that?"

"Well, I just figured someone as pretty as you probably has a boyfriend and since your expression softened when you started talking about this friend of yours…" He scratched at the back of his neck.

Katara frowned, feeling betrayed by her own face but blushed upon realizing this boy was flirting with her.

She looked at him again. He was handsome. In fact, he was the first boy other than Zuko she saw that way but as she stared deeper, all she could see was Zuko's bright, golden eyes and how Jet's seemed to pale in comparison.

When Zuko began creeping into his teenage years before he was banished, he was the first boy she had ever found attractive. It was as if it happened overnight. It was like she woke up one day and Zuko suddenly had all these muscles and bright eyes behind long, black hair...

"He's a childhood friend. So no, he's not my boyfriend." Once again, Katara tried to shrug him off.

"You still never told me your name," He countered, smirking.

_So much for not having to tell you my name..._

She sighed and turned slowly. "My name… My name's Katara."

Jet smiled. "Are you sure you don't want to come with me, Katara?"

Katara shook her head. "I can't…"

He eased closer to her. "Okay. But I'm going to be in the area for a little longer, so if you change your mind and decide you want to come with me to Ba Sing Se—"

"Ba Sing Se?"

"My freedom fighters and I are going there to start over. I figure that's the best place to do it."

Jet was probably right but she wouldn't be going there. However, it was food for thought, something to think about, to hope for. She held things like this in her heart to keep from losing her mind and what was left of herself.

"It was nice meeting you…Katara." He purred her name beautifully as he winked and disappeared into the forest.

The goodbye felt temporary, like he knew something she didn't. He was so cocky and sure of himself and his delivery. It was like he knew she'd change her mind or that they'd find each other again, and he wasn't even the least bit worried or skeptical.

He was clearly insane, she decided as she straightened her clothes. That or he was naïve but that wasn't his fault. He didn't understand who she was,  _what_  she was.

* * *

It was tempting to burn down the Pohuai Fortress and everything in it, maybe even everything around it. If he wasn't hiding in a tree, he'd be tempted to burn the forest itself.

Commander Zhao was now Admiral Zhao, and _Admiral_  Zhao had a whole new assortment of assets and resources at his disposal. This was a disaster. Things would no doubt get worse from now on and the Avatar would become even more illusive.

The Avatar was hard enough to pin down without Zhao getting in the way. Zuko didn't want to think about how problematic his search would become now. Lately, it had been one disaster after another. He'd gone all the way to Kioshi and burned down half the village only to end up empty handed. Then, Uncle was captured by Earth Kingdom soldiers who wanted to take him to Ba Sing Se and punish him for the siege he laid on the city for 600 days. After that, his ship got caught in a storm, which also kept him from searching for the Avatar and now… _this._

He shuddered to think how much time he'd wasted finding Uncle, fighting storms, and spying on Zhao. He could have the Avatar now or at the very least be looking for him again but keeping an eye on Zhao was a necessary evil. And as much as he hated to admit it, guilt was another reason he lingered around Zhao's new stalking ground.

_Katara…_

Zuko felt guilty. He'd all but handed her over to Zhao so he could have a better chance of finding the Avatar. Yes, she'd offered on her own but he could have done more to stop her and the thought of her under Zhao's command didn't sit right with him. In fact, it made him angry.

He'd have to find some way to make it up to her. This officially felt like a debt. He didn't know how he'd go about paying it though. But he had to figure something out. Maybe after he found the Avatar and she took his bending, maybe he could help her get back home with her brother.

For some reason the thought of that made him scowl. Whenever he thought to the future, to coming back home, that future included Katara. He always pictured her waiting for him. Perhaps because he'd promised he'd come back for her, because in the back of his mind, finding the Avatar was also a way of getting back to that special place with her where he sometimes felt genuine happiness.

She didn't belong in his world. He knew that. He'd known that since the moment he first laid eyes on her but that didn't change the fact that he now felt she had some permanent spot in his life.

She'd been his friend and Zuko had never been good at friends. He'd never really had any of his own. Azula had Mai and Ty Lee and he had friendships with them through her but Katara… Katara was  _his_. She chose to be with him. It wasn't out of obligation or for any other reason other than the fact that she genuinely enjoyed his company. They'd grown up together, grew to care for one another and bonded through black days…and he'd thrown her to Zhao for personal gain, so he could hunt down the Avatar...and her brother.

Frustrated, he dug his ignited fingers into the tree branch he sat upon. It made him feel a little better but guilt and shame were crawling up and down his spine despite how hard he was trying to ignore them.

He shouldn't care. He shouldn't be wasting his time sitting in this tree waiting for her to return to the fortress. Joining Zhao was her idea. He should just be grateful and continue his search.

_Because it isn't fair,_ his mind replied as he bashed the back of his head into the tree trunk.

Zuko knew about fairness, or better yet, the lack thereof. Life hadn't exactly been fair to him. He knew what it felt like to be dealt a bad hand and Katara's compassion for him had dealt her yet another bad hand.

It was in that moment that he vowed to get her out of the mess he'd gotten her into. He'd get her away from Zhao, somehow. He realized this was more than a debt. This was about Zhao taking what was his and that's exactly what Katara was: _his_.

Zuko was nothing if not possessive and no one with an ounce of royal blood burning in their veins liked to have what was rightfully theirs taken from them. He would take back what was his and whether Zhao liked it or not, that included Katara.

Footsteps echoed beneath him. He sat up and leaned down to see Katara walking towards the fortress. I part of him wondered where she'd been all this time but decided he could confront her about that later.

Before she got too far, he dropped from the trees in front of her.

She held up her arms to bloodbend him and he realized he'd foolishly jumped in front of her guised as the Blue Spirit. He started to take off his mask after the fact but decided to hold his arms up in surrender. She might misinterpret anything else and he really didn't want to be on the other end of her bloodbending.

" _Katara, stop!"_

She froze, her stunning eyes going wide.

"Zuko?" she whispered, taking a few steps forward.

"Shh!" he hissed and yanked her further into the woods by the curve in her elbow. Once he was sure no one was nearby, he crouched down with her behind a tree.

"What are you doing here?" she breathed, trying to stare through the black lifeless eyes of the mask he wore.

"Keeping an eye on Zhao." He was also keeping an eye on her but she didn't need to know that.

"I think he might be here for the archers…"

"He is. And since Father has promoted him to admiral, he's going to get them."

"Admiral?" she reeled, her expression one of misery. She was likely thinking about how pompous and arrogant he would be now that he was an admiral and she wasn't wrong to think that way. He would be more insufferable for everyone.

Zuko stood and started pacing like an armadillo lion. "Has he said anything to you? About his plans?"

She shook her head. "Honestly, I try to stay as far away from Zhao as possible. I usually learn about his plans as they happen. I didn't know about the archers until today."

"So he doesn't have any leads?"

"Not that I know of. Lately, he's mainly been trying to gather resources." She paused. "Will you take that thing off while I talk to you?!"

He groaned, irritated but grabbed her arm and hauled her further into the woods for good measure. He created more distance between them and Zhao before finally taking the mask off. However, he did so begrudgingly.

The cool night air hit his face and it was oddly refreshing. He was also able to see her better. Funny. He'd forgotten how the small, golden flecks in her eyes glowed in the darkness.

"Better?" he snorted.

"Better." She smirked, her lips curving with triumph.

He rolled his eyes but some of the tension left his face and his body. His expression had lost some of its hard edge, making it harder for him to appear truly irritated.

"So… What about you? Where are you headed?" she asked, taking another step toward him.

"North. Northeast probably." He cast his gaze back toward the area where he'd left Uncle and his ship.

"No leads?"

"No. Not since we lost the trail in that nasty storm that passed through not too long ago." He rubbed at the back of his neck.

Guilt coiled inside him just like it did every time he saw her brother.

On some level, he knew that he needed to tell her the truth. She deserved that much but he was too selfish to give it to her. And the more he interacted with Sokka and the Avatar, the harder it would be to tell her the truth. She'd resent him for what he'd done, maybe even hate him and he couldn't have that. He'd lost so much and he couldn't lose her or her respect. He refused to lose anything else…

He needed to get back to his ship. He was delayed enough as it was. He had to get back to his crew and she had to rejoin Zhao. They were being pulled in different directions…

Katara sat on the ground beneath a nearby tree and looked up at him expectantly.

Zuko sat down next to her, leaning against the massive tree trunk.

He reached down and squeezed the top of her hand, his grip a bit more possessive and coarse then he intended.

"I'm going to get you away from Zhao," he declared, his voice steely with resolve. "I don't know how but I'm going to do it. I'm going to capture the Avatar and then we can finally go home and be together again."

Katara's eyes were far away as she looked at the hand he'd placed upon hers.

His brow furrowed. "Don't you want that?"

Her eyes rose to meet his and she gave him a sad smile. "Of course I want us to be together again, Zuko. I've missed you…"

She held her head down and rested it against his shoulder. Subconsciously, he leaned into her and rested his cheek on her head.

He didn't say anything else but he did sit there with her for a long time either because he'd missed her or because he didn't want her to go back to Zhao. He wasn't sure with. Probably some weird combination of both…

* * *

After Zhao was promoted, everything intensified just as Zuko suspected it would. He set up blockades to keep ships from leaving certain areas and all information relating to the Avatar had to be reported to  _Admiral Zhao_.

Katara was surprised by the amount of information Zhao received regarding the Avatar immediately after his promotion. She sifted through as much of it as she could but Zhao was careful not to let her see too much. It was obvious that he didn't really trust her but he was right not to.

What  _didn't_  surprise her, however, was how quick Zhao was to dispatch his newly acquired archers.

Admiral Zhao called them Yuyan Archers. They were a group of elite, highly skilled Fire Nation archers. Until Zhao acquired them, they were used to guard the Pohuai Stronghold and for a wide assortment of stealthy missions. They were one of the Fire Nations various secret weapons, which meant that Zhao now had two secret weapons in his possession including her.

Katara was uncomfortable with Zhao's newfound power but she was relieved he didn't send her with the Yuyan Archers when they left to pursue various leads on the Avatar's location but she knew there was some motive for this. There was a reason he didn't send her too. Again, she suspected this had something to do with Zuko and his trust (or the lack thereof) he had in her.

Early that morning, Zhao's precious archers blazed off into the nearby mountains where she hoped they would be unsuccessful.

She tried to distract herself around the stronghold while they searched but there was only so much she could do and she didn't want to leave the fortress until she heard the result of the archers' latest expedition.

Katara felt like she was going crazy behind those walls. She was left with little to do and her mind kept churning away with general unpleasantness and other issues she just didn't want to confront.

She kept thinking about Jet and the Avatar and her latest conversation with Zuko.

Katara hadn't seen Hama in a long time but it felt as if she were in the room with her about to give her yet another lecture about her friendship with Zuko.

' _He's just like the rest of them. Just like Fire Lord Ozai, he thinks you are a piece of property.'_

Hama's words echoed loudly in her head because she once again heard truth in them.

The night she'd see him in the woods, he'd made her feel like a piece of property. She wanted them to be together…but her plan had always been to get away. Everything she'd done, she'd done with the hope of eventually gaining the strength to break the chains that bound her to Ozai and the Fire Nation. Whether she'd actually be able to obtain that strength was still to be seen. Sometimes she felt like she'd live this life until she drew her last breath. Ozai would see to that.

If Zuko had his way, he'd giftwrap the Avatar for his father and return home with her in tow...

Not too long ago, all she wanted was to have Zuko back…but now… Things were different now. There were other elements at play. It was more tempting to run away with Jet, a perfect stranger, than it was to return to the Fire Nation Capital with Zuko as Tara.

She hadn't lied when she said she wanted to be with him…she just didn't want him the way that he wanted her. Zuko wanted to return to the past and she wanted to escape it.

As much as it ripped her apart to admit it, she and Zuko would probably always want different things. But that didn't change how she felt. It didn't change the fact that she would continue to help him in any way she could. She'd resolved to see this through to the end, wherever (or whenever) that end might be but could she really live the rest of her life as Tara? For Zuko? After she helped him and the Fire Nation destroy the world's last hope for peace?

Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn't her life be simple for once? She couldn't let go of Zuko but she couldn't betray the hope she had in the Avatar either. She was constantly at war with herself and with every moment that passed, she found herself more and more tempted to just run away from all of it.

All train of thought was lost when Zhao came into her quarters with a smug look on his face.

" _We've got him. We've got the Avatar."_


	9. Chapter 9

How? How could they have caught the Avatar this easily? Zuko had been trying for years and his ancestors had been trying for _decades_  before that. How was Zhao able to do this without breaking a sweat?

She didn't know how he did it, but he did it. He'd captured the Avatar and he was being kept somewhere deep within the fortress as Zhao boasted to hundred of firebenders nearby.

The admiral offered up a huge speech, saying that their troubles were over and that the Avatar was now his prisoner. He prattled on and on about power and comets and the fall of Ba Sing Se until Katara felt her ears would bleed if she heard _Fire Nation_ one more time.

Katara never thought this day would come. She never would have dreamed Zhao would actually catch the Avatar, especially so soon. Apparently, she had really underestimated Zhao.

When she couldn't bear the echoes of Zhao's speech anymore, she decided to go to the Avatar's chamber. She was curious and that curiosity finally got the better of her. She didn't necessarily want to see the Avatar but she felt she had to. She needed to meet him. She needed to see him with her own eyes before she was forced to take his bending. Why? She wasn't entirely sure…

She made her way to the farthest reaches of the fortress to the chamber where the Avatar was being kept and waved the countless guards away. It amazed her how most of them almost never questioned her. Most of them treated her as if she were actually one of Ozai's descendants and allowed her passage almost anywhere, which definitely came in handy at moments like these.

As she lifted her arms to push open the chamber doors, she realized she was shaking.

" _What? No! Don't leave, frogs! My friend is sick and he needs you! Please go back to being frozen."_

The first thing Katara noticed upon entering the chamber was surprisingly not the Avatar but the half-frozen frogs sliding around on the floor towards her.

_Frogs?_

" _Quick! Grab my frogs!"_

Katara managed to pull her gaze away from the frogs and slowly realized the voice was speaking to her.  _He_ was speaking to her.

Her eyes followed the small voice and she saw that the Avatar was staring at her with wide, grey eyes. He was in chains, his arms sprayed out at strange angles and hackled to two towering pillars capped with fire.

He was a child. Dawned in vibrant yellow and orange, he didn't look a day over twelve. She wasn't sure what she was expecting the Avatar to be like but it wasn't  _this._

How could this be the world's salvation? How could she do what Ozai and Zhao wanted her to do? She couldn't take a boy's bending! She just couldn't. But…if she didn't, Zhao would know. Then, Ozai would know… And if she listened to Zuko, she'd be freeing him just so he could be captured again, this time by Zuko himself…

There was just no way for this to end well.

Dumbfounded by his request, Katara's only reply was: "Uh…"

"Please! They're for my friend. He's really sick."

Katara started to pick up the frogs before they could get too far but realized the fruitlessness in that particular venture and stopped herself.

"I, uh, think it's a little late to salvage these. Besides, if Zhao gets his way, you won't be getting out of here anytime soon," she replied.

His gaze fell and he looked temporarily defeated before he lifted his head and focused on her again.

The curiosity he felt was mutual. Katara found herself easing closer to get a better look at him.

"Wait… You're the girl from the Spirit World?" His cool, grey eyes widened.

_So he's heard of me…_

Katara wondered if he'd know she was lying. After all, he was the only  _real_ connection to the Spirit World. Her connection was a ruse to help Ozai lure everyone to his side.

"That's what they say." Her response wasn't a  _complete_  lie.

"Don't you remember?" the boy inquired, his voice gentle yet genuinely confused as the pale blue arrow on his forehead wrinkled.

She shook her head and folded her hands in front of her stomach.

"Can you really take someone's bending away…?" he asked and the slight fear in his voice was not lost on her. He didn't seem to be afraid of her but he was afraid of what she might be capable of.

"Yes, and soon, I'll be commanded to take yours." She saw no point in lying to him about that particular matter.

"But the spirits wouldn't want you to use your powers this way," he insisted, his voice going up a few octaves.

His eyes were so innocent, naïve, and sincere. It had been so long since she'd seen eyes like his. She was somehow enamored and jealous at the same time. She'd been skeptical and cynical but she could see that there was indeed something special about this boy. She could _feel_  it.

"No. Probably not." Katara sat on one of the steps of the dais next to him, wrapping her arms around her waist, confliction and guilt making her insides coil into tight painful knots.

What was she supposed to do? She couldn't go through with this. Not now. Not after speaking to him, not after looking into his eyes. It was easier to stomach the thought of it before because the Avatar seemed so…illusive. He was a legend, something to strike fear into the hearts of firebenders, nothing tangible…until now. Now the Avatar had a face and a voice. He was suddenly very real and now the possibility of taking his bending was real too.

_Too real…_

As she sat there on that cool step below him, she felt his eyes on her. He seemed taken aback by her but she also felt pity and sympathy in his gaze. He felt sorry for her, as if he could feel her pain, her suffering. Something unspoken passed between them in the brief moments they'd spent together.

Before their conversation could go further, there was heavy banging coming from the other side of the door.

Her eyes connected with the Avatar's and she thought of ignoring the banging completely until it intensified.

Whoever was one the other side knew she was in here and clearly wasn't going away.

Reluctantly, Katara shot to her feet and made her way towards the giant doors. She wasn't sure what she'd do if it were Zhao and he was here to make her take the Avatar's bending already. Bloodbend him and run away? Maybe she should have run away with Jet when she'd had the chance…

She pushed one of the giant doors open and as soon as she did, she was yanked out of the chamber and the door was slammed behind her.

Blinking a few times, her eyes focused on a familiar blue mask. It was the mask Zuko had been wearing in the woods when she saw him last. Apparently, they were making a habit of these kinds of encounters. Their paths seemed determined to intersect.

Zuko pushed the mask away from his face. "I need you to help me free the Avatar."

Katara blinked because she was too stunned to think of a response.

"If Zhao takes him to Father before I do, I'll never be able to redeem my honor. It will all be for nothing," he continued when she continued to say nothing.

His words were like a slap to the face. It wasn't until that moment that it really hit her just how obsessed Zuko was with the Avatar, how he had let it consume him. It was worse than she'd realized.

"Fine. I'll help you but only because I don't want Ozai to get the Avatar at all," she countered and took a few steps back towards the airbender's chamber.

Zuko snatched her arm and reeled her back. "Are you on _his_  side now?"

"I'm not on anyone's  _side_ , Zuko…"

He was towering over her and all she could do was stare up at him as she desperately tried to figure out how to handle this. She felt conflicted as she always did with matters concerning Zuko. It was as if she was being ripped apart inside but ultimately, she decided that helping the Avatar escape with Zuko was the lesser of the evils at the moment.

"You don't have long," she whispered, feeling his hand tighten around her arm. "Zhao will be back at any moment to check on him."

Zuko nodded and slid his mask back into place.

"I'll try to keep an eye on Zhao so you can get out of here unnoticed," she continued.

Zuko hesitated before going back into the chamber with the Avatar. He looked back at her as if to say  _thank you_. For a moment, she even thought he was considering reaching out for her. He never did, of course.

While Katara waited within the shadows of a nearby corridor, Zuko blazed back into the room and sliced the Avatar's restraints open.

The Avatar looked down at his hands, clearly shocked that they were still there. But what shocked him more was the man in the blue mask that had freed him. He stared at the mask long and hard, trying to penetrate it and find the intentions of the one hiding behind it.

"Who are you? What's going on?" he asked. "Where did the girl from the Spirit World go? Are you here to rescue me?"

Zuko turned as if he  _wasn't_  just asked thirteen questions and stormed back into the hall, briefly motioning for him to follow with one of his swords.

"I'll take that as a yes!" the Avatar rushed after him.

Incapacitated guards and frogs were everywhere, and upon seeing the frogs, the Avatar jumped after them and began trying to stuff them back into his shirt.

Zuko, however, was having none of it. Once he noticed the Avatar had fallen behind, he blazed up to him, knocked the frog out of his hand, and hauled him to his feet by his shirt.

"Wait!" the Avatar cried. "My friend needs to suck on those frogs!"

Something forgotten stirred inside of Katara. Something she hadn't felt in a long time, something that compelled her to kneel down and grab some of the mostly frozen frogs for the Avatar. Again. She didn't, of course but she still thought about it.

Once Zuko and the Avatar were out of sight, she made her way through the opposite side of the fortress in search of Zhao.

Katara didn't get far before bells were ringing and horns were sounding throughout the fortress.

They'd already been spotted, which meant she hadn't made it to Zhao in time.

She picked up speed, running faster following the distinct sounds of fighting.

" _Hold your fire! The Avatar must be captured alive!"_

_Zhao. That's Zhao's voice…_

Her heart dropped. She prayed to Tui and La that they hadn't been captured already. They'd find out that Zuko was under that mask and she shuddered to think of what would occur if that happened. Not to mention the Avatar would be back in Zhao's custody where she would be tasked with taking his bending and nothing good would come after that.

Just as her mind had finished playing out the absolute worst-case scenario she heard: " _Open the gate."_

" _Admiral… What are you doing?"_

" _Let them out!"_  Zhao snapped.  _"Now!"_

As Katara finally reached the center of all the commotion, she saw the front gates opening. But she could see little else from her place behind the hoards of soldiers and firebenders.

_Did they get out? Are they hurt? Why would Zhao just let them go?_

Katara pushed and shoved her way through the men until she was able to reach the front of the line where Zhao stood, seething as he stared out at the forest that lied just beyond the fortress.

"How could you let them go?" one of the nearby men asked.

"A situation like this requires…precision," Zhao sneered.

_The archers. He's going to use the archers!_

Admiral Zhao turned his back on the front gate and rushed to the watchtower. Katara sprinted up after him with several other guards, officers, and messengers. She was grateful for the commotion because no one was really paying attention to her or what she was doing. She just hoped it could give her the chance she needed to help Zuko and the Avatar.

" _Do you have a clear shot?"_

By the time she reached the top of the lookout tower, Zhao was already barking instructions at the archers. What was she supposed to do? Bloodbend them all unconscious? She couldn't bloodbend all of them. There were too many and there would be witnesses even if she did manage to incapacitate most of them. That kind of action could easily cause a ripple effect that would get both her and even Zuko imprisoned or executed.

It was all happening so fast and she felt helpless to fight the inertia of the situation as it spiraled more and more out of control.

"Knock out the thief. I'll deliver him to the Fire Lord along with the Avatar." Admiral Zhao folded his arms behind his back, his posture regaining its confident air.

She wanted to scream but her voice lodged in her throat as everything inside of her froze and before any of it could thaw, she was hearing that shrill, awful whizzing of arrows being shot.

"Quick!" Zhao barked. "Return the Avatar!"

Katara watched on in horror as imperial firebenders ran out of the fortress by the droves. She'd never get back down in time even if she could somehow get to them without causing suspicion. They would get to them long before she could but when the firebenders reached the cloud of dust where Zuko had apparently been shot down, there was nothing there.

Relief flooded her heart so fast she was light headed, her knees threatening to buckle. She didn't know how and she didn't care. They'd gotten away and that was what mattered.

The relief was short lived, however, as she realized Zuko was probably hurt. That archer had hit…something. She'd heard it and that presented a world of new problems. She had to get out and find Zuko. She had to make sure he was okay.

Zhao was so busy barking orders and demanding his men to scour the area until they found the thief and the Avatar that he hadn't even thought to ask anything of her. She still wasn't even sure if he'd seen her.

For a moment, Katara started to offer up her help. She started to volunteer to take a few guards into the woods with her to aid the search but realized that Zhao would find that suspicious. She'd never offered to help him with anything like this before and Zhao might even suspect that the masked thief was Zuko if she seemed too eager.

Ultimately, she resolved to take a risk and sneak out instead. The gates were open so the countless soldiers could flood the forest. Maybe no one would look for her in the meantime but even if they did, she couldn't stay here and do nothing. She'd go crazy if she did and for some reason, she felt responsible for this, like it was partially her fault for not incapacitating more guards or getting to Zhao sooner.

Throwing up the hood of her shawl over her head, she blazed out of the fortress with another cluster of guards. Once they reached the woods, she drifted from the group and began stumbling through the darkness on her own.

She'd seen a little blood near the spot where Zuko was shot and followed its very faint trail further into the eastern part woods. The odds of finding them before anyone else did were slim to none…but she had to try.

She wandered for what felt like a short eternity, listening to every sound echoing through the woods and hiding from Zhao's men until she was covered in mud and grass stains. She'd battled thorns and tall grass as she'd focused all her energy on bloodbending, trying to feel any life nearby. This was much easier said than done though. Bloodbending could only heighten her senses so much.

For a long time, she only picked up on small animals or Zhao's men. She followed the currents inside the living much like how normal waterbenders could sense various bodies of water. She could close her eyes and feel the liquid pumping through anything nearby.

Normally, she hated when her senses were this heightened, when living things stopped feeling like actual beings and became nothing more than holders filled with liquid she could bend to her will. At present, however, her intent was pure. She wanted to make sure Zuko was okay but even this aspect bloodbending still did something to her mind, to her humanity. It was almost as if something inside her had to shut down in order to utilize these abilities. She was pretty sure that something was her sanity but she didn't like to dwell on it.

At one point, she was so focused on the energy around her that she tripped over a rock and fell into a small stream. Initially, she'd been disappointed in herself. It was yet another painful reminder that she wasn't a real waterbender. A real waterbender would have heard the water, sensed it, smelled it…something!

_But not me…_

For a while, she just sat in the cold water, feeling defeated as it flowed around her. This was a lost cause. She'd never find them, not even with bloodbending.

Eventually, Katara shifted and tried to get back to her feet but when she dug her hands into the bottom of the stream, she felt something cold and hard. It almost felt like a rock.

Pulling it out of the mud, she realized it was a frozen frog, the same kind of frog the Avatar had wanted for his sick friend.

Just like back at the fortress, she felt compelled to grab them. She wanted to give them to the Avatar. She wanted to help him and maybe even his sick friend.

That same something that had stirred in her while she was with the Avatar was back and stronger, stronger to the point that she started digging around in the mud and water looking for frozen frogs. Getting these frogs no longer felt as pointless or as fruitless as it had in the fortress.

He gave her hope and that hope compelled her to help him. It changed her way of thinking and revitalized something inside her that she'd assumed Ozai and bloodbending had killed years ago.

With a new sense of purpose and her pockets filled with frozen frogs, Katara began scanning the woods again. She was determined. She wasn't going to give up.

Despite her newfound determination, the woods began growing thicker with each step she took. She didn't know how long she'd been searching but night was starting to wane. She knew her bending wouldn't be as strong once the sun came up and in the back of her mind, she knew she'd have to go back to the fortress before anyone learned she was gone.

However, luck was on her side. Just as dawn was closing in on her, she sensed two human-sized vessels nearby. They were isolated and one was slightly bigger than the other.

It was them. It had to be them.

She rushed towards the energy, the lifeblood's power pulsing from them and speaking to her as she tripped over the massive tree roots that ravaged the earth beneath her.

Finally, she saw a small heap of yellow and orange beneath a giant tree with even larger roots.

The boy startled at the sight of her but she quickly threw her hood back so he could see her face.

"I'm not here to hurt you. I just wanted to make sure he was safe…" She held her hands up in surrender.

As soon as the words left her mouth, she saw Zuko lying flat on the ground next to him with his mask off.

"Zuko…" she breathed as she fell to her knees next to him.

He was alive but unconscious. She gently lifted his head into her lap and placed her hands on both sides of his head, scanning for deeper injuries.

There was a little blood trickling down his face from where the arrow probably hit him but other than that, it was probably just a mild concussion.

Relief flooded her heart as she continued to cradle his head in her lap, her fingertips subconsciously tracing the contours of his face.

He looked so peaceful. The turmoil inside of him was latent and he seemed like a different person. He was approachable and warm and…handsome.

Katara had always enjoyed watching him sleep and despite everything that had changed over the years, that fact remained because Zuko still looked almost serene when he slept. Not even the scar that covered almost half of his face could change that.

For a while, she was so distracted with Zuko that she forgot all about the Avatar. When she finally looked back at him, she saw him watching her intently.

"You can leave," she whispered. "I'll stay with him and make sure he's okay. I appreciate your help but you should go somewhere safe before any of Zhao's men find you. They're probably still searching the area."

The Avatar blinked a few times but didn't leave like she thought he would. He almost seemed reluctant.

"You really care about him, huh?"

That legitimately took her off guard.

She frowned, blushing a little. "He's the only friend I have left…"

"So…you two know each other…" It was more of a statement than a question. "I guess that means that you really know the Fire Lord too, huh?"

Katara smiled apologetically at him. "I'm afraid so."

He sat down and brought his legs to his chest. He seemed deep in thought.

"Oh. I grabbed these for you on my way here." She reached into her pockets and handed him the frozen frogs she'd gotten out of the stream, being sure to refreeze them with waterbending while they were still in her pockets so he wouldn't notice said bending.

"My frogs!" He exclaimed, floating to his feet and practically levitating towards her. "Thank you… Uh, what's your name again?"

She nervously cradled Zuko's head in her lap, unsure of how to respond. She wanted to tell him the truth but unlike her encounter with Jet, her hands were tied. He couldn't know her real name. He couldn't know the truth.

"You can call me Tara…" she replied lowly, her eyes evasive.

"That's a pretty name. I like it! My name's Aang."

Katara smiled again. "It's nice to meet you, Aang."

Aang beamed back at her, his eyes bright as the stars overhead but his smile soon fell as he examined her further.

"You know, you're nothing like what I expected." He inched closer to her. "People have warned me about you but you aren't mean or scary at all."

"I can be…" Katara looked down at Zuko again. She couldn't look at Aang anymore. She felt too conflicted, too guilty.

"That's just a spirit thing though. The spirits can be real moody. So I understand." He was grinning at her again.

She was once again envious of naivety. How nice it must be to trust so openly, to only see things only at face value. He was wrong but ignorance was bliss.

Zuko shifted subtly in her arms, his heartbeat quickening. His eyes slowly opened and focused on her.

"Katara…?" Zuko groaned and she instinctively took hold of one of his hands.

"I'm here. You're okay. Aang saved you."

Zuko's brow furrowed deeply. "Aang…?"

"The Avatar," she clarified, realizing she may have spoken too freely.

Zuko's eyes narrowed dangerously at the boy in question but Aang offered nothing but a small, tentative smile in return. Clearly, Zuko was still a bit too disoriented to do much else and his expression softened.

There was a long stretch of prolonged, strained silence before any of them gained the courage to speak again.

"You know what the worst part of being born over a hundred years ago is?" Aang inquired but she couldn't tell if he was talking to Zuko or her. "I miss all of the friends I used to hang out with. Before the war started, I used to always visit my friend Kuzon. The two of us used to get in and out of so much trouble together. He was one of the best friends I ever had and he was from the Fire Nation. Just like you."

Zuko's expression was still surprisingly soft and contemplative but something strange was swimming in his unfocused eyes. Katara could feel the tension slowly returning to his body as he took deeper and deeper breaths.

Seeing Zuko soften, Aang expression became wistful, hopeful. "If we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends too?"

With lightening fast speed, Zuko was on his feet and shooting fire at Aang.

Then, just like that, the Avatar was gone in a puff of smoke.

Zuko's arms fell limply at his sides as he stared after him, something unreadable flashing across his face. She expected him to look angry but he didn't look angry at all. He kind of looked…sad?

"What's wrong with you?!" she reeled.

"Me?!" He spun around to glare at her. "What's wrong with  _you_?! Why were you just sitting here talking to the Avatar?!"

"I came to make sure you weren't dying out in the woods!" Katara stormed up to him. She wanted to prove that she wasn't afraid and that he couldn't bully her like he bullied everyone else.

Zuko looked like he wanted to scream at her but he also looked like he didn't have the energy. His posture drooped with exhaustion and maybe defeat. He was suddenly gaunt and…vulnerable. It almost looked like he was having some regret or remorse for what he'd done. Or maybe he was just angry that the Avatar was gone and that he didn't have the energy to go after him. It was also possible that he felt conflicted or strange about the Avatar saving him. With Zuko, it was hard to tell.

She wanted to be angry with him. She wanted to yell at him for how he'd acted but she couldn't, not when he was vulnerable like this, not when his eyes were begging her for…something… She didn't know what but he needed her and that was apparently her weakness. It was why she was in the situation she was in now.

Katara sighed, trying to cool her temper. "How's your head?"

"Fine…" He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

She was at a loss. She knew she should probably say something but what could she possibly say to him? It was like he couldn't bring himself to look at her. He likely felt betrayed by her actions or perhaps the lack thereof.

A part of her wanted to pour her heart out to him like she used to. She wanted to tell him how terrified she was of what might happen if the Avatar were captured again. She wanted to tell him that she didn't think she could take his bending. She wanted to tell him that she didn't want the Avatar captured at all. She wanted to tell him how badly she wanted to run away from all of this. She even wanted to beg him to run away with her but she knew he would never do it. Not now.

As much as she hated to admit it, they'd grown apart but despite all that, she stayed with him.

They didn't speak. She bent some mud out of some nearby water and guided it into a leaf for him so he could have something to drink. Then she washed some of the dried blood off his face and finished closing the wound on his temple.

"I'm glad you're okay." She broke the heavy silence first.

He still looked a bit dazed but he managed to nod. "Thank you, Katara."

There was something ambiguous in his gratitude. She honestly didn't know what he was thanking her for.

Katara got to her feet and looked out beyond the sea trees. It was getting brighter although the sky was still kind of overcast. The sun would be completely up soon.

"I should probably get back before Zhao realizes I'm gone…. If he hasn't already."

They stared at each other, exchanging silent goodbyes. Something unspoken passed between them, a firm understanding of their position.

He knew he'd disappointed her but he wouldn't apologize and the same could be said of her. She knew she'd disappointed him but if she had it all to do over again, she would do no differently.

She left, albeit begrudgingly, knowing something in their relationship had changed.


End file.
